How to Get a Man to Commit to You

How to Get a Man to Commit to You

Are you ready to take things deeper with a man but you aren’t sure if he wants the same thing?

Would you like a man to commit to you but you’re afraid of scaring him off?

If you’re struggling to get a man to commit to you then here’s how to plant the idea in his mind without making things awkward.

Trying to force a man into a committed relationship NEVER works.

Yet if you follow what we discuss in this guide, you can get a man to want to commit to you all while he thinks it was his idea in the first place.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Keep Your Power in The Relationship.

The fastest way for a man to lose interest in creating something deeper with you is by giving yourself completely to a relationship before a man commits himself.

While it may seem nurturing and noble to jump into a relationship head first, if he’s not in the water yet, you’re going to be swimming alone… you’re going to lose yourself and obsess over a man who isn’t really sure if he’s that interested in you yet.

Instead, keep your single life active. Have a life outside of the relationship that is AMAZING.

This way he feels like he needs to be at least as interesting as your single life in order to convince YOU to be in a relationship with HIM.

2. Maintain Healthy Boundaries.

Here’s the truth that you need to remember:

You don’t want a guy, you want an amazing relationship.

In order for a man to be a part of your life in an emotionally and physically intimate way, he must show you that he’s able AND willing to be a part of the type of relationship that you want.

Being in a relationship with you is valuable. You need to act like its valuable.

That means that you don’t commit yourself to a man at the first sign of butterflies in your stomach.

You don’t commit yourself to a man because you’ve been seeing each other for a certain length of time and it just “seems like that should happen now.”

You ONLY commit to a man because he’s invested time and emotion into your relationship… AND…

Because he’s the type of man who aligns with your values and is willing to create the loving, secure partnership that you desire.

Look: the only way that a man is going to treat you like you deserve the relationship you want is if you show him that you value yourself, you value your time, and you value your willingness to be in a relationship.

The way to show him this is through having boundaries.

At the very least, I suggest that you set a boundary that you’re only willing to sleep with a guy if he’s willing to agree to not sleep with anyone else while the two of you are physically intimate.

Here’s how you do that:

Before you have sex together, let him know your requirement. Say:

“While I’m sleeping with someone, I don’t sleep with anyone else. I just don’t feel like there’s any reason to if I’m getting my needs met from one person.

I want to make sure you’re doing the same. Will you let me know if you plan on or do sleep with someone else so I know where we stand?”

If he answers anything other than, “Yes!“… don’t sleep with him.

The point is to make him feel he has a choice but to also protect yourself and convey your value.

This way you both get to feel like you’re a part of something that’s special.

3. Allow Him to Invest in You and the Relationship

A man won’t commit to you because you commit to him.

He won’t commit to you because you think he should.

And he certainly won’t commit because of how much YOU invest into the relationship.

A man will ONLY commit because of how much time, energy, and emotion HE puts into the relationship.

Here are the two biggest mistakes you could make which will deter a man from investing in your relationship:

  • You’re not accepting his gifts.

This doesn’t just include physical gifts… a man who likes you will attempt to give you the gift of his time, his advice, his help and his protection.

If you refuse these gifts from him, he’ll feel like there’s no room for him to invest in creating a REAL relationship with you.

So instead of pushing him and his gifts away, learn how to become a good receiver. Just allow yourself to receive whatever gift a man attempts to give you.

  • You’re taking the masculine role in the relationship.

When you pursue a man, plan the dates you go on, and generally lead where the relationship is going, you’re taking the masculine role in the relationship.

When you do this, it’s a natural reaction for a man to lean back and allow you to take over. The problem is that he never gets invested in the relationship and doesn’t feel like he plays an active role in it.

If you want him to commit to you, then you need to let go of the reigns of control and allow him to take the masculine role.

Remember: He commits because he’s invested in the relationship. And he won’t commit if he isn’t invested in it.

4. Make Him Feel Safe to Emotionally Connect with You.

It may seem strange that I’m suggesting that YOU need to make HIM feel safe in the relationship….

Let me explain something to you:

From early childhood, most men are taught that they need to be tough in order to survive.

And even though men walk around and they may seem very confident and emotionally detached, there’s something deeper going on.

All men have deep rooted fears and insecurities just like all women do.

Yet they don’t feel very comfortable talking about them.

And if you want a man to connect with you emotionally and fall deeply in love with you, you need to make him feel safe enough around you to open up and be vulnerable.

While it can be fun to banter with a man and tease him from time to time, you need to show him that deep down inside, you really trust, respect, and admire him.

One of the most powerful ways to do this is to take his side when he needs it the most.

This means…

Even when he’s wrong in an argument, take his side.

When things aren’t going well for his life or his career, take his side.

Even when he’s not around and you’re talking about him, take his side.

If he feels like you’re against him when he needs your support the most, it could ruin any chance of him really opening up and falling deeply in love with you.

However, if you take his side and make him feel like you’re a part of the same team, he’ll give you his heart in a way that will make him want to love you in a way most women never experience.

5. Align with His Life and His Values.

The only way that a man will ever commit to you is if he can see himself being with you in the distant future. This is what men call, “marriage material.”

If he can’t see himself being with you years from now, he will NEVER think of you as anything more than a casual fling.

It doesn’t matter how long you’re together.

It doesn’t matter how in love he is with you.

It doesn’t matter that you have a better relationship with his family than he does.

What matters is that his life and values align with yours.

Here’s one of the most powerful ways to make him feel like you align with him.

I call this technique, “The Enlightened Reflection.”

The first step is to find out what his dreams and aspirations are for the future. Find out what he wants to do with his life and who he wants to become as a man.

Second is to find characteristics and traits that he has which show you that he can become the type of person he wants to become.

And then the last step is to tell him why you can see that he has what it takes to create the life that he wants to pursue.

The Enlightened Reflection is extremely powerful. And if you continue to show him that you see who he really is and support him in his quest to become the man he wants to be, he’ll begin to see you as someone he can be with in the future and he’ll feel like there’s nobody he’d rather spend the rest of his life with.

Imagine how you’ll feel when the man you’re with begins to see you as the woman he wants to cherish, adore, and be with for eternity. That’s the power of creating a commitment connection with a man.

What do you think about this article? Post your comments below and let me know what you think!

 

How to Get a Man to Commit to You

How to Get a Man to Commit to You Infographic – Please Share!

 

Disclaimer: Results will vary, and you should not use this information as a substitute for help from a licensed professional. Good luck!

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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31 Comments

  • Shameeka

    Reply Reply July 19, 2015

    I agree totally! I’m in a situation right now that I’m in confusion about because I fully committed myself from the start. Now I’m just IN a relationship that I really don’t know where it’s going because he has made it known that he is not going the same doped that I am

    • Matthew Coast

      Reply Reply July 20, 2015

      That can be really frustrating Shameeka. If you need some help or have any questions, make sure you let me know.

  • michelle

    Reply Reply July 19, 2015

    You are awesome matthew coast

  • Nonikwa

    Reply Reply July 19, 2015

    powerful, thank you so much

  • Irene

    Reply Reply July 20, 2015

    Hello Mathew,
    I’m also in a relationship that i believe i committed myself too soon and i let him know of this. His response was that he wasn’t sure if he would even be available because his job might transfer him. I think he just used this reason as a way out. But, yet I’ve tried to put such boudary by letting him know that since we don’t want the same things we could just be friends. And although, I was hoping he wouldn’t take me up on it he did. So we stopped seeing eachother for a couple of weeks, but it’s been awful and I’m dying to see him again. So, when he playfully suggested to meet him again I totally went for it. But I’m afraid, this will put us right back to where we started. Do you think there is any way to put this relationship back in the right track? or there’s no way to save it now? I would appreciate any help you can give me.. Thanks

    • Matthew Coast

      Reply Reply July 21, 2015

      Hi Irene,

      From what it sounds like, this WILL lead you right back to the situation you started in. I’ve had thousands of women come to my site because they’re in situations they don’t want to be in with men.

      The biggest problem a woman tends to have is that she allows her feelings of LUST to determine who she should date instead of making sure she’s attracted to him AND he’s looking for relatively the same thing in regards to a relationship.

      If you continue into this situation WITHOUT having strong boundaries, finding out what he wants, and making sure what he’s able and willing to provide is in alignment with what you want, the probability is VERY high that you’re going to end up as a casual fling instead of getting a committed relationship.

      Is there a way to get it back on the right track? Possibly. You just need to make sure that the two of you are in alignment with each other’s desires for a relationship before getting physically intimate with him.

      If you’re not, then don’t do it. You’ll only end up frustrated, heartbroken, and disappointed if you do.

      • Irene

        Reply Reply July 21, 2015

        You are absolutely right. It’s the boundaries that I’m having issues with. And sticking to them.
        Thank you Mathew for your insightful advice.

  • Lisa

    Reply Reply July 21, 2015

    Awesome content!

  • zodwa

    Reply Reply July 21, 2015

    I will surely introspect myself. I’m in a 14 year old relationship with 3 kids but he is more distant than being closer.

    • Matthew Coast

      Reply Reply July 22, 2015

      Hi Zodwa, the issue you’re dealing with isn’t simply commitment, it’s attraction… and even more specifically power.

      Men who have been interested and have lost interest in a relationship, the overwhelming majority of the time do so because of either a significant gain of power on their part, or a significant loss of power on yours (or both).

      If you want him to feel the desire to become closer to you again, you need to regain your power and independence in the relationship. Build your esteem and create an enjoyable life without him needing to be a part of it.

      If you do that, he’ll instantly feel more attracted to you and want to get closer.

  • madsad

    Reply Reply July 24, 2015

    good tips

  • Eudith

    Reply Reply July 24, 2015

    Thank you very much Mathew for the powerful and on point highlights and with your guidens will make the right moves and boundries to stick to them for my man to commit.

  • sonny

    Reply Reply July 30, 2015

    Does this work for a 48 yr old person that has fallen in love with her best friend from elementary school. And wants him to see her in a different way

    • Matthew Coast

      Reply Reply July 31, 2015

      It does but you need to start with attraction first… he’s not attracted to you like you are to him. So if you want him to feel differently, you need to connect to his heart.

  • paulyne kalunda

    Reply Reply September 3, 2015

    wow wow wow

    you have made my day by learning what i really needed to know in my life

    thanks a lot be blessed

  • GRIS

    Reply Reply November 6, 2015

    Can you talk more about what not do. How can we be strong, independent women yet maintain or raise our feminine energy. Does it go back to the saying that what is given to you so easily; mostly you don’t value it? How can we make the men show up as high value & want to invest & provide.

    • Matthew Coast

      Reply Reply February 17, 2016

      Yes, I can certainly talk more about what not to do.

      Sure, if something is harder to get its more valuable. Also, most people don’t know the value of anything…

      They look for cues and clues in their surrounding to determine how valuable something is.

      If you want a guy to know how valuable you are, you need to make sure you see yourself as valuable and that you ACT like you’re valuable.

      If you act like you’re not valuable, he’ll pick up on that as well and treat you accordingly.

      Respect yourself and believe you’re valuable and you’re much more likely to get a man to feel the same way.

  • Janica Mosqueda

    Reply Reply January 4, 2016

    This is great 🙂 While reading it, I was amazed . Thanks anyway for writing those .
    I have an idea now on how to please him and having a conversation with him without any misunderstandings after. THANKS A LOT !

  • Angiee

    Reply Reply May 16, 2016

    wow, know i understand why my ex who was madly in love with me before, doesn’t want me back after i broke up with him.
    Now there is a guy who want me in his life, we share the same value and interest, but the problem is that he is not educated; as in university level. He is into fashion and design, very creative and hard working, but his level of education is the problem, i don’t know what to do. he is 34 and am 33.

  • Petro Vermeulen

    Reply Reply August 25, 2016

    I can vouch that your advice really works! I met a wonderful man after I started treating myself as valuable enough and realised what I want in a relationship. I bought both of your programs and studied them carefully and it made me see things differently. Not long after that, I met my Mr Right! Keep up the good work Matt and ladies, you CAN listen to him!

  • Leona mccarroll

    Reply Reply August 25, 2016

    Great advice. . Is it ever too late in a relationship to establish healthy boundaries?

    • Matthew Coast

      Reply Reply September 6, 2016

      It’s never too late to establish the fact that you value yourself and you need others to value and respect you if you’re going to be in a relationship with them.

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