Are you ready to take things deeper with a man but you aren’t sure if he wants the same thing?
Would you like a man to commit to you but you’re afraid of scaring him off?
If you’re struggling to get a man to commit to you then here’s how to plant the idea in his mind without making things awkward.
Trying to force a man into a committed relationship NEVER works.
Yet if you follow what we discuss in this guide, you can get a man to want to commit to you all while he thinks it was his idea in the first place.
Here’s how to do it:
1. Keep Your Power in The Relationship.
The fastest way for a man to lose interest in creating something deeper with you is by giving yourself completely to a relationship before a man commits himself.
While it may seem nurturing and noble to jump into a relationship head first, if he’s not in the water yet, you’re going to be swimming alone… you’re going to lose yourself and obsess over a man who isn’t really sure if he’s that interested in you yet.
Instead, keep your single life active. Have a life outside of the relationship that is AMAZING.
This way he feels like he needs to be at least as interesting as your single life in order to convince YOU to be in a relationship with HIM.
2. Maintain Healthy Boundaries.
Here’s the truth that you need to remember:
You don’t want a guy, you want an amazing relationship.
In order for a man to be a part of your life in an emotionally and physically intimate way, he must show you that he’s able AND willing to be a part of the type of relationship that you want.
Being in a relationship with you is valuable. You need to act like its valuable.
That means that you don’t commit yourself to a man at the first sign of butterflies in your stomach.
You don’t commit yourself to a man because you’ve been seeing each other for a certain length of time and it just “seems like that should happen now.”
You ONLY commit to a man because he’s invested time and emotion into your relationship… AND…
Because he’s the type of man who aligns with your values and is willing to create the loving, secure partnership that you desire.
Look: the only way that a man is going to treat you like you deserve the relationship you want is if you show him that you value yourself, you value your time, and you value your willingness to be in a relationship.
The way to show him this is through having boundaries.
At the very least, I suggest that you set a boundary that you’re only willing to sleep with a guy if he’s willing to agree to not sleep with anyone else while the two of you are physically intimate.
Here’s how you do that:
Before you have sex together, let him know your requirement. Say:
“While I’m sleeping with someone, I don’t sleep with anyone else. I just don’t feel like there’s any reason to if I’m getting my needs met from one person.
I want to make sure you’re doing the same. Will you let me know if you plan on or do sleep with someone else so I know where we stand?”
If he answers anything other than, “Yes!“… don’t sleep with him.
The point is to make him feel he has a choice but to also protect yourself and convey your value.
This way you both get to feel like you’re a part of something that’s special.
3. Allow Him to Invest in You and the Relationship
A man won’t commit to you because you commit to him.
He won’t commit to you because you think he should.
And he certainly won’t commit because of how much YOU invest into the relationship.
A man will ONLY commit because of how much time, energy, and emotion HE puts into the relationship.
Here are the two biggest mistakes you could make which will deter a man from investing in your relationship:
- You’re not accepting his gifts.
This doesn’t just include physical gifts… a man who likes you will attempt to give you the gift of his time, his advice, his help and his protection.
If you refuse these gifts from him, he’ll feel like there’s no room for him to invest in creating a REAL relationship with you.
So instead of pushing him and his gifts away, learn how to become a good receiver. Just allow yourself to receive whatever gift a man attempts to give you.
- You’re taking the masculine role in the relationship.
When you pursue a man, plan the dates you go on, and generally lead where the relationship is going, you’re taking the masculine role in the relationship.
When you do this, it’s a natural reaction for a man to lean back and allow you to take over. The problem is that he never gets invested in the relationship and doesn’t feel like he plays an active role in it.
If you want him to commit to you, then you need to let go of the reigns of control and allow him to take the masculine role.
Remember: He commits because he’s invested in the relationship. And he won’t commit if he isn’t invested in it.
4. Make Him Feel Safe to Emotionally Connect with You.
It may seem strange that I’m suggesting that YOU need to make HIM feel safe in the relationship….
Let me explain something to you:
From early childhood, most men are taught that they need to be tough in order to survive.
And even though men walk around and they may seem very confident and emotionally detached, there’s something deeper going on.
All men have deep rooted fears and insecurities just like all women do.
Yet they don’t feel very comfortable talking about them.
And if you want a man to connect with you emotionally and fall deeply in love with you, you need to make him feel safe enough around you to open up and be vulnerable.
While it can be fun to banter with a man and tease him from time to time, you need to show him that deep down inside, you really trust, respect, and admire him.
One of the most powerful ways to do this is to take his side when he needs it the most.
Even when he’s wrong in an argument, take his side.
When things aren’t going well for his life or his career, take his side.
Even when he’s not around and you’re talking about him, take his side.
If he feels like you’re against him when he needs your support the most, it could ruin any chance of him really opening up and falling deeply in love with you.
However, if you take his side and make him feel like you’re a part of the same team, he’ll give you his heart in a way that will make him want to love you in a way most women never experience.
5. Align with His Life and His Values.
The only way that a man will ever commit to you is if he can see himself being with you in the distant future. This is what men call, “marriage material.”
If he can’t see himself being with you years from now, he will NEVER think of you as anything more than a casual fling.
It doesn’t matter how long you’re together.
It doesn’t matter how in love he is with you.
It doesn’t matter that you have a better relationship with his family than he does.
What matters is that his life and values align with yours.
Here’s one of the most powerful ways to make him feel like you align with him.
I call this technique, “The Enlightened Reflection.”
The first step is to find out what his dreams and aspirations are for the future. Find out what he wants to do with his life and who he wants to become as a man.
Second is to find characteristics and traits that he has which show you that he can become the type of person he wants to become.
And then the last step is to tell him why you can see that he has what it takes to create the life that he wants to pursue.
The Enlightened Reflection is extremely powerful. And if you continue to show him that you see who he really is and support him in his quest to become the man he wants to be, he’ll begin to see you as someone he can be with in the future and he’ll feel like there’s nobody he’d rather spend the rest of his life with.
Imagine how you’ll feel when the man you’re with begins to see you as the woman he wants to cherish, adore, and be with for eternity. That’s the power of creating a commitment connection with a man.
What do you think about this article? Post your comments below and let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: Results will vary, and you should not use this information as a substitute for help from a licensed professional. Good luck!