Do Strong, Successful Women Intimidate Men?

Another common complaint that I get from women is that they think they intimidate men. Could this be true?

Do strong, successful women intimidate men? Does a man somehow feel threatened by a woman who has made her own place in this world?

Well, maybe… Let’s look at something very important first…

When I first joined the dating scene, I was horribly unsuccessful with women. I mean, it was pretty embarrassing.

I just wanted to treat a woman right. And I did everything I thought should…

I made sure I was very respectful, kind, and friendly to any woman that I really liked. In short, I was really “nice” to them.

Yet none of my nice behaviors got a woman to feel attracted to me. Every woman I talked to said she wanted a nice guy yet none of them seemed to be attracted to me, the epitome of what a nice guy was.

That’s because I expected a woman would be attracted to me for how nice I was.

I didn’t understand what created attraction or even why a woman would be attracted to a man in the first place. For a while, I thought I was doomed to a life of not being attractive to women.

I think, more than anything, I was just confused.

You see, I like women who are supportive and nurturing and kind and loving. And somehow, I thought that a woman would be attracted to me for those characteristics as well.

What does this have to do with strong women intimidating men?

It’s exactly the same thing… except opposite, I guess.

Most men aren’t intimidated by your success. Maybe some of them are. But most really don’t care one way or the other.

For some, it might be a small plus. But it’s not something they get overly excited about.

Yet the women who complain that they intimidate guys tend to think that guys should be attracted to them BECAUSE of their success.

When she goes out with a guy, she’ll tell him all about her successes and talk about her work and basically swap resumes with a man.

Maybe you have an impressive list of successes. Maybe you’re incredibly smart and determined. And that’s awesome.

And maybe YOU are attracted to MEN who are successful, strong, ambitious, etc.… after all, these are masculine traits.

It would be normal for you to find an ambitious man attractive. But to a guy who you’re swapping success stories with, he feels like he’s just hanging out with one of the guys.

And guys aren’t attracted to women who act like one of the guys. Masculine doesn’t attract masculine.

Masculine men are attracted to feminine women… and vice versa. So the only guys you’re going to attract with your success stories are guys who are innately feminine.

And if you aren’t into feminine guys, you may want to pull out the feminine part of yourself when you’re around a man who you want to attract.

That’s the ONLY way you’re going to be attractive to a masculine man. You can talk about your successes… but don’t expect him to be attracted to you for them.

A man is attracted to you for different reasons than you’re attracted to him. You’ll do much better on a date if you get into your feminine grace and are playful, appreciative and in touch with your emotions.

THAT would make you a lot more attractive to a masculine guy. As long as you’re stuck in your masculine energy on a date, you’ll repel any man who is masculine… and you may forever think that you intimidate men.

But if you can get into your femininity before you go out, you’ll have a much easier time connecting with men and they’ll feel more drawn towards your presence.

If you think that you’re intimidating men, what you’re probably doing is sending him subtle messages that are telling him that you’re not what he wants in a romantic relationship.

Maybe you’d make a great drinking buddy. Maybe you’d be a good person to consult with when considering a business deal.

But if you’re not projecting traits that attract a man to you, he’ll never consider you for a romantic partnership, no matter how much you think things should be a different way.

Like the nice guy, you’ll always end up finishing last.

What do you think of this blog post? Do strong, successful women intimidate men? Leave a comment below and let me know what you think!

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Matthew Coast

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8 Comments

  • Charmaine Maine

    Reply Reply March 6, 2015

    I agree with you to some extent, men that are wrong for any women be she is independent/masculine or not they will always be intimidated and will walk away.

    simple explanation is that a guy who is truly in any women will stay and will be committed. Women must start looking for a man who is equal or a match and they will find a perfect relationship.

    Looking and sifting carefully….

    Charmaine Maine

  • tanya

    Reply Reply March 6, 2015

    Thank you! Needed this. Been a tomboy all my life, turning 26 and been staying on my own since the age of 17. Only at 24 I decided to change the intimidating traits and try and become lady like. The problem is I prefer to be by myself cause I know how to make myself and enjoy being alone..im a sports lady and would choose playing sport than dating, nothing against men, I learnt to enjoy being by myself. Most people don’t do self searching nor do they know their purpose on earth and i do believe that what you need will come at the right time. My quote “show me I need you more than I need myself”, and i love to do stuff for myself. Kindness, trust, communication, effort, respect and loyalty other than love are words that matter. I use my coaching as an excuse not to date cause like you said in the article, its just a hassle.

  • tdoz

    Reply Reply March 6, 2015

    This blog made it very clear to me what repel men
    That you must be feminine to attract masculine
    I always thought that if a man sees how successful I am would attract him and see that I can make a good wife but that hasn’t been the case so far
    Now I heard that they will only see a business partner

    I am gaining a lot since I started reading your articles Matthew thank you very much

    • Matthew Coast

      Reply Reply September 19, 2015

      You’re welcome!

    • 101 Dating Coach

      Reply Reply November 22, 2015

      It’s about the Alpha-Alpha clash. Men are normally in that state of mind and so are independent and successful women.

      But in order for attraction to take place you need an opposite charge. Just like with batteries. Strong men need a graceful, feminine woman with decent standards, who allows them to lead the way and be a Man.

      They want you to be successful, but will connect with the WOMAN in you, not the business lady that you are at work.

      Learn how to step back and embrace him with your feminine energy, be gentle, caress his ego, be his friend on a deeper emotional level.

      Leave the power contest at the doorstep, when you enter the realm of dating & commitment.

  • Artemis

    Reply Reply October 6, 2015

    I had never really thought of it that way. Being first born,took on responsibilities way before age appropriate and extremely independent and successful in my career, I can totally see where i have been unconscious to the masculine/feminine attraction relationship.

    Wow, I do know i cannot be anything other than myself, but I also have been unconscious about showing that side of my being, especially to a man on a date or in public.

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