Have you ever broken up with a man and spent weeks, months or even YEARS daydreaming about the day he would call to say he made a MISTAKE?
…that you’re the ONE WOMAN for him after all, and that he wants you back in his life…forever?
Have you ever been “haunted” by a man in you dreams, causing you to feel “in a fog” the entire next day about him? Have you cried and despaired over a break-up because you felt like you’d NEVER find a man who UNDERSTOOD and LOVED you the way that one special guy did?
Do you torture yourself with daydreams about him coming back to you and asking you for a real commitment this time? Daydreams that feel cruel in comparison to what the REALITY is?
Keep reading and I’m going to share with you the tried and true ways for either:
A) Getting Over Your Breakup in Quick & Healthy Ways
Or, if you still have faith in the love you shared and aren’t ready to move on or give up…
B) Get Him Back
What Break-Ups Do To Us
A break-up can be a really painful time in your life. And if you’re like lots of women, you have a certain “PATTERN” that you go through after a break-up. You feel things a certain way, and you do certain things to make yourself feel better.
It’s normal to want to avoid PAIN and feel better. But the problem that’s holding you back from getting to a better place with the break up and within yourself isn’t with wanting to avoid pain…
The problem is that you often do things that you THINK will lessen the pain you’re feeling… but these actions actually INCREASE the PAIN you’re feeling in the long run!
Break ups are one of the areas where I find women doing this to themselves over and over, running into the same painful situations, but not being able to make a change until it’s forced upon you.
Let’s put an end to that.
Dismantling Your Break-Up “Pattern”
What I’ve found in talking to hundreds and hundreds of women who write me or come to my seminars or who just approach me for advice… is that most women tend to make the SAME MISTAKES after a break-up that keeps them STUCK.
You may have noticed this in your girlfriends – as it’s much easier to see these kinds of patterns in other people around you.
These mistakes keep these women stuck in destructive, demeaning or GO-NOWHERE relationships for months or even YEARS.
These mistakes can be the reason you keep picking the wrong men over and over.
They can be the reason you keep feeling hurt and rejected all the time by a man who just won’t commit, won’t love you, but won’t let you go, either.
So if you’re feeling like you’ve been in and out of relationships and that NOTHING seems to be changing or improving in the QUALITY of your relationships, listen up.
Here are the 3 most common mistakes you need to avoid after a break-up:
Mistake To Avoid #1: Staying In Touch With Your Ex
I hear from women all the time who do this, and I almost don’t blame them, really.
Your guy tells you it’s over, or you get into a fight, or he says that he just can’t see himself in a long-term relationship with you.
For all intents and purposes, you know that the relationship is over. At least you feel that way for a day or two. But then something happens…
He texts you. Or calls. Or emails.
At first, he’s just being “friendly” and asking if you’re “ok.” Maybe you get together with him for coffee and talk about how your friendship is too important to just throw away.
You talk about how you want each other in your life in some way…
He may even tell you things like he still “loves you” or thinks you’re special, or that he “cares.”
Sure, he thinks you’re a great woman and he’d love to have you in his life in SOME WAY in order to boost his ego and lessen his OWN discomfort about the break-up.
So it goes: pretty soon, he’s calling you all the time, and you’re calling him. You know you should probably not stay in contact, but you almost can’t help yourself from responding to his texts or answering the phone when you know it’s him.
And you get your HOPES UP that all that contact means he’s getting closer to wanting you back. That there’s a chance you can have things back to the way they used to be. Right?
Staying connected with a man who doesn’t want a committed relationship with you (when you do) only PROLONGS your pain.
Each time he reminds you that he’s not ready, or hasn’t changed his mind, is just you getting your heart broken again and again.
You Need To Step In And Take Control
Because this isn’t getting you closer to moving on and actually making the space and time in your life to find a man who TRULY loves you and wants to have a real relationship with you.
It just keeps you dangerously STUCK in a place where your self-esteem and confidence actually withers each time you talk, text, sleep with or daydream about your ex-boyfriend.
So cut all ties. It will feel like it’s the more painful way to go about it… but only at first. Because it actually SAVES YOU in the long run from weeks or months of more pain and frustration.
Mistake To Avoid #2: Thinking You’re Somehow Unlovable
How many times have you wondered if the reason you can’t find a good man to want to have a real, devoted and honest relationship with you is because there’s something wrong with YOU?
You wonder if you’re just a FAILURE at love, or if maybe you’re not attractive enough or if maybe you’re undesirable.
It’s just not true!
Break-ups are simply a part of your life’s journey. It’s a way for you to learn what you need to learn about WHO YOU ARE and WHAT YOU NEED in order to be happy.
Feeling like you’re unlovable or a failure is a disservice to YOURSELF. It’s creating patterns of thinking that make you even less confident and even MORE needy in the future.
It’s better to feel gratitude and even relief that you were shown a way of being in a relationship that just doesn’t work for you. You’ll know what kind of situation or man to watch out for next time. You’ll know what you need to SAY and DO when you get into a relationship with a new man so this doesn’t happen again.
You’ll learn to be a wiser, stronger woman who knows her boundaries and who knows what she will or won’t tolerate.
Now, without any painful or bad experiences in your love life, how would you ever know what REAL LOVE with a good man is?
Right. You wouldn’t.
Mistake To Avoid #3: Trying To Fast-Track Your Grief Or Staying Stuck
Ok, tell me if you’ve ever done one of these three things after a break-up:
- Start responding to guys you know who are on your “relationship back-burner” or getting on an online dating site literally the SAME DAY your man breaks up with you and start the process of a finding brand new relationship as quickly as possible
- Tell yourself you’re never dating again, or you’re not dating until you can somehow “fix yourself” and the things you think are wrong with you
- Decide you don’t have time for heartbreak and bad relationships anymore and you throw yourself into your work, family or friends and avoid dating altogether
If any of those sound familiar, it probably means that you’re doing everything you can to AVOID feeling what you’re feeling after a break-up.
You’re either trying to find a man quickly, in order to feel desired again, and therefore come off as “needy, desperate or clingy” when you date a man…
Or, you’re avoiding men altogether so you’re not reminded of the man you really wanted and can no longer have. Therefore, you give off a vibe that says “stay away” or “I’m not interested.”
This ping-ponging between extremes actually PREVENTS you from meeting a man who can actually be the one guy who CAN be good for you and turn it all around for you.
But hey, you may not care about that. You may feel like it’s OK if you don’t date or find Mr. Right for a long, long time. It’s your choice. And you should be OK with that.
But if you’re NOT OK with being alone and single and feeling STUCK, then do yourself a favor and learn how to use the pain of your break-up to create a BETTER situation for yourself.
Using Your Break-Up To Supercharge Your Love Life
So let’s say that you’ve broken up with a man recently, or you’re still kind of getting over a guy from your past.
You know that you should be “getting out there” and dating, or you should at least have a better time with it.
Maybe you’re having trouble getting into it because you’re afraid of getting hurt again. You’re afraid of getting REJECTED again by someone you’re interested in, or you’re afraid you won’t be interested in a man who thinks you’re a fantastic woman.
“I like that guy, but he doesn’t want me.”
“That guy keeps calling and asking me out, but he gives me the creeps.”
This isn’t just the wrong man at the wrong time, it’s a constant struggle with your self-worth, believe it or not!
And if you find yourself thinking any of those things up there, you need to do something right now. You need to take the PRESSURE OFF and start looking at dating as “fun” and “a learning process.” Seriously.
Maybe you don’t think that you can start over at “your age” (that’s total B.S. by the way), or that you hate being single again at this point in your life.
But you ARE single, and the sooner you embrace the beauty within that truth, the better off you’ll be…. and the sooner you can start getting back to a place where you can actually meet a guy who will become the love of your life.
Everything You Need To Meet Your “One“
I wanted to answer all your questions about how to get yourself into the very best space to meet a quality man and then give you the practical tips to actually find him. That’s why I created my Meeting The One program:
As you watch this program, you’re going to feel something magical happen. You’re going to realize that you have total power to start fresh and get things right in love this time.
For now, you can start by simply saying “hello” to one new man every day – at the store, at work, at coffee shops.
And by the way, I get it… I can understand that constantly having to “start over” from scratch to find a great guy when you already thought you had one can be really frustrating.
If you’re like lots of women I’ve helped, then maybe you find that meeting a man isn’t the problem, so much as when he STOPS CALLING or asking you out, or gets distant and withdraws for no logical reason.
Maybe you don’t know the specific things to ASK A MAN early on to figure out if he’s being honest, if he’s mature, if he’s even “into” having a real relationship (and not just a fling.)
Learn How To Prevent Break-Ups In The First Place
What I’ve learned over the last several years about the early stages of dating is that most women would be much more successful in dating and relationships if they knew not only how to MEET a great man, but how to ATTRACT him in the RIGHT way to keep his interest in the long-term.
It’s not enough just to be a beautiful, smart, and capable woman.
The reason a man falls for a woman, and I mean really and truly falls for her, has little to do with the way she LOOKS, or how smart of successful she is. Although these are nice “openers” to pull a guy in at first.
Men fall for women and start pursuing them and want a COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP filled with love and affection and growth because of a few very special and specific qualities a man either sees and admires in a woman and wants her…
Or he doesn’t see these, and he’ll never want more than just something fun FOR NOW.
Fortunately, if you’re not sure you know what I’m talking about, and what these few special and rare qualities are that say “girlfriend” or “wife” about you to a man, that’s ok.
Meeting The One will show you exactly how to take it from the first “hello” to hearing a man say “I love you” and beyond. You’ll learn:
- What to DO and SAY to get a man’s attention and get him to ask you out
- How to easily build a FOUNDATION for a LASTING RELATIONSHIP from the first date on, building through each conversation you have with him
- The simple way to OVERCOME all the common dating frustrations that are haunting you now and keeping you and a man from moving past all the “what if’s” and “maybes”… and surrendering to your feelings and your love
- How men think about first dates and dating, and how to set things up right from the start so he’ll want to be exclusive with you and see you as true “girlfriend material”
And much more. With the tools you’ll get in this program, you’ll start to see instant results in the way that men respond to you, and in your own ability to create situations that engage his interest and attraction.
If you’re ready to make the positive change in your love life right now, click the link below to watch Meeting The One:
Meanwhile, I hope you listen to what I shared about the break-up mistakes and you do yourself a favor.
I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in life and love.