3 Harmless Questions That Will Awaken His Love And Devotion
In this world of instant communication, we think we are more connected, because we text and get an instant reply, we can post our feelings on Facebook, and we can Tweet about how we feel, but to make a deep and meaningful connection with your boyfriend you need a lot more than 240 characters! The best way to feel close to someone is to know more about them and, for that, you will need to ask some probing questions. If you want to find more about what makes your boyfriend tick, try asking him these three questions that should provide some quite revealing answers that will bring you closer together.
For best results, clear all distractions from your environment. Turn off your phones, close the laptops, and switch off the TV. Make sure the kids are asleep and the dog is taken care of. Clear out any and all extraneous things that could potentially ping their way in to the space that you are creating and handle them ahead of time.
It’s unbelievable how much even a thirty-minute, distractions free, emotional block busting session once per week conducted from the comfort of your bed can do for your entire relationship.
Don’t believe me? Give it ONE try, and see what comes of it. If you don’t like it you never have to do it again. But this exercise could be the exact thing you need to take your relationship from surviving to thriving.
1. Is there anything you could never forgive?
The answer to this question could give you an insight into his past, his beliefs, and the values that he holds. What we find unacceptable is often shaped by our own life experiences, so, if he says he could never forgive cheating, it is quite likely that he has been cheated on before. If he answers this question honestly, you will find a lot more about the guy you are with.
2. What would you do if you won the lottery?
One of creative questions to ask your boyfriend would be to ask him about his dreams and what he would do if he had the freedom to anything. Knowing each other’s dreams and aspirations will bring you a lot closer together, even if you can’t realistically achieve them in the foreseeable future. If you can work together to achieve those dreams, it will make you more of a team.
3. What was the happiest time in your life?
This question will get you both sharing some of the happiest memories from your past, and what better way could there be to bring you closer to each other? When you understand what makes each of you laugh, and what makes you cry, then you know that you have a real connection.
Everyone has different emotional triggers that make them feel vulnerable in a variety of different situations.
Maybe your partner feels easily attacked when you do something that they interpret as criticizing them publicly. Maybe your partner tends to shut down when you argue about certain emotionally charged topics like sex, finances, or the in-laws. Or maybe something could happen in the bedroom that makes them feel inadequate or embarrassed.
Whatever the reason may be, there’s always a way around it that could make your partner feel a lot more cared for and loved.
I had one client of mine establish a non-verbal hand signal for when they were feeling attacked or vulnerable (it was a two-fingered peace sign held over his heart). When he used this sign it communicated to his partner – when words failed him – that he was feeling like he had his back against the wall and he needed her to be more loving.
To this particular couple, the peace sign meant a number of things. It meant that they were going to take a two-second breather, and that they were remembering to engage with each other from a place of peace and love. It meant that no matter what they were fighting about, they were allowed to take a breath and come back to it with a calmer and more loving communication style.
While this is just one example of a way that someone can be loved through difficult moments, there are countless other ways that you and your partner can love each other through the tough times. And the only way you’ll figure out what works for you as individuals is to talk it out.