Maybe this scenario seems familiar. Your ex has been chummy with you lately. You still have feelings for him…maybe you’re still in love with him. He texts you frequently and treats you like his best friend.
But…he’s also dating someone else. Or maybe he implies that the two of you dating was a mistake and that he would NEVER do it again.
This happens a lot, actually. Some men do want to be friends with their exes and not all of them for weird or creepy reasons. The real question is, does he actually want you back? or are you simply projecting your wish onto him, hoping he’ll take you back?
This can be very confusing, especially when guys do confusing things – like asking for dates (which are not dates), or acting nostalgic about the times you had together.
Don’t worry…I’ve compiled a list of signs that he DOES want you back and that it’s not all about staying friends. Notice these specific signs first, before pursuing anything. After all, sex with your ex (who doesn’t love you anymore) is not the best idea in terms of moving forward!
1. He’s still angry or at least blaming you for the end of the relationship.
Confusing as this sounds, it’s true. If a man is over you, he eventually does “release” that anger, resentment and blaming. He has accepted that the two of you were not compatible and that you outgrew each other. He has found happiness in himself and in another woman.
A man who’s still “under you” holds onto that anger. He’s rude and mean and ornery because he feels hurt in his heart! He blames you for ruining the trust in the relationship. (Even if he’s dead wrong, that’s likely what he feels)
Now it’s true that over time, a guy still in love with you WILL start to behave. He’ll do his best to be polite, PC and “mature” about it. But this façade is easy to see through if he’s still obsessing about you. So pay close attention to the next stage…
2. Jealousy
Jealousy is the most obvious sign that he’s not over you. Not only is he jealous of other men in your life (or even the idea of you dating someone else) but he’s also VERY quick to date someone new and moves forward in that relationship very quickly. All these actions are motivated by jealousy and the desire to mask the pain he has for losing you, by creating a strange fantasy of instant intimacy in the arms of someone else.
Probably someone a lot like you or someone exact opposite of you – basically a relationship started because of comparisons he made to you.
Progressing in a healthy relationship is nearly impossible for him because he refuses to take time to heal and refuses to let go of the jealousy. Enter the rebound relationship, now on sale for a (very) limited time.
3. Pretending to be happy and crying alone.
His priority right now is to unsettle you, so don’t be surprised if he posts all over social media about his happiness and fantastic new life. But whether this is staged for or he’s just convincing himself he’s happy, it’s only another mask. He’s actually spending more time alone, avoiding doing things (that don’t involve chasing after women), and definitely NOT spending time figuring out what he really wants out of life.
He might let himself go physically and take long breaks from social media or his phone. He’s “hiding” because he’s hurting, just like most mammals tend to do!
4. He’s still unwholesomely interested in your life.
When a guy is over someone that’s usually when he decides to let you be as independent as you want. When a man is still in love, he will sneak around and scheme to be involved in your life in one capacity or another.
He will get his friends to spy on you. He will continue to be friends with your friends or your family members, even if it feels awkward for them. For a man who’s “over” you, he sure seems to have trouble excusing himself from your life!
5. He plays weird, subtle mind games.
Nothing diabolical (hopefully) but more of the “I want you to think of me” variety. He might start doing all the fun things you once asked him to do. He hopes you’ll be jealous seeing the new fun him living his best life (or whatever).
He might also run into you at places or parties, acting as if it’s a strange coincidence that the two of you met – which it’s usually not.
6. When the time is right, he pours his true feelings out.
After the guise of being platonic friends passes he will usually share something with you perhaps he’ll explain to you why he left (or why the relationship ended). Or he might apologize for his past behavior. Or (and this one is the old faithful) he’ll drunk dial and give you one last piece of his mind. Sometimes drunk dialing is the only way he can admit what he feels, because it frees him of his inhibitions and stubbornness. Listen closely to what he says…
But remember this. If he loves you, he will prove it. That brings us to the next sign.
7. He will start to change for you.
Men never change, right? Well they don’t suddenly become an altogether different person, that’s true. But through conscious effort people can make practical changes and alter their life course for the better. They can make changes that will help them to find happiness and be more stable partners for a relationship.
If part of your problems together were his negative attitudes or self-destructive behaviors, he probably knows that’s what has to change. If he’s willing to put forth the effort to change then that’s a very dramatic and serious display of love.
8. He reaches out to you every so often, via phone or text.
If he is still in love with you then he will reach out to make contact and he will always be the one to break the ice. He’ll say he’s checking on you or to see how you’re doing. If anything his suspicious that you’re alone and depressed is probably reflective of what HE’S feeling. And it’s a strong sign that he’s still waiting for the right time to make another move.
Getting back together with your ex is always possible…it just depends on how much you’re both willing to change to prevent the same relationship from self-destructing in the exact same way as before. Always remember that you both must change if you want a better result, both your habits and your attitudes.
Send your ex this weird text if you want him back
Have you heard about Time Machine Texting yet?
With it, you’re able to shift your ex’s thoughts from all the reasons he wanted to breakup with you…
And transfer him back in time to remember and feel all the reasons he loved you in the first place.
If you want your ex to come running back to you…
And fill his mind and heart with good memories of you…
Talk soon,
Matthew Coast
P.S. If you’re begging, crying, or trying to prove to him you’ve changed, you’re only pushing him further away.
Instead, use this text message…
Absolutely true.
How do you know if you really love him?
I can’t get over him I think about him every minute is like I can’t get him out of my mind no matter how hard I try to. He ignores me a lot and it hurts me and he does not visit me like before even for two weeks I don’t see him and when I call him he don’t pick my calls he’s a change man towards me.
Lea back.
Use your Feminine Energy;
GET “Abundance in your life. high quality lady.
Know ‘your’s value.
Peel your focus off the guy.
I can’t get over him I think about him every minute is like I can’t get him out of my mind no matter how hard I try to. He ignores me a lot and it hurts me and he does not visit me like before even for two weeks I don’t see him and when I call him he don’t pick my calls he’s a change man towards me.
hes back with his wife ,but we still talk. he choose his old life style content but hes not happy am trying to give up.
Same for me !! Says he’s not happy but that’s the life he has chosen……
He stop calling every two days but he will come by every week to get his mail stay for twenty minutes and give me a kiss and leave I ask is he going to stay a night he says soon
He still talks to me on occasion on the phone but the conversations are like as if we never parted. He talks to me like as if I’m in the room just visiting with him like we always have and still do and when I bring certain words into the conversation like “dear” in a sentence he doesn’t say anything like “I’m not your dear anymore “ and when I end the conversation to get going there’s hesitation in his voice when I’m ending the phone call? You tell me, I’ll bet he’s dancing around the idea somewhere he still hasn’t let go or is it just me?
I had a friendship only situation with a man I really came to care for. We reconnected in 2019 due to the death of our mutual friend who originally introduced us.We have been in limited contact since then & talked a lot about all that has gone on in our lives …it was like we had spoken a few weeks earlier. When I told him I would be in the area soon, he instantly said he’d like to take me to dinner & that I should give him the dates as soon as they were finalized. I sent him the info about my travel about a week prior to the trip, again when I arrived by text & again a couple of days later on voicemail. He never made contact so I sent a text after several weeks I told him how disappointed I was that he acted that way & we did connect again. His behavior has been very erratic ,& when I told about some upcoming Surgery I was having, he never made contact. So what’s the best guess about him?? Since we were never lovers it’s hard to understand why he won’t even be a text or phone friend anymore !
Let me explain my situation. This man whom I never met before. We were waiting on the school bus to put our grandchildren on. I looked up and this man was staring at me. I smiled and spoke. He smiled and spoke. Ater the bus picked the grandkids up we talked a good while. Than we started to depart and I asked him if he wanted to stay in touch. He hesitated but said yes and asked for my cell number. I gave to him and he sent his right away. Than said, that’s my number. Than we departed. I don’t know why but I thought about this man the whole day I couldn’t get him out of my mind. The next day I text him. ” good morning I hope you remember me, Anna. All day I wanted for a response. Nothing. So I started thinking I made a mistake in texting him first. But that evening he texted. We texted a little. I asked if he wanted to continue talking on the phone. He said he would take a rein check on that. Than he said he was talking with his daughter on the phone while texting me. Than he said maybe he might not be what I’m expecting him to be. I said you will never know until you try. It’s been 3 days and nothing. I want to text but I don’t want to sound anxious or pushy. It’s been a long time since I’ve dated or even interested in dating. I’m nervous and I don’t know what to do. Please I need your advice on how to handle this.
Sorry to say this, but if I were you” I will not text him anymore”. Wait and see his reaction. If he is into it than he will come along. Be strong and be brave like a Lady with dignity.
I know right I don’t contact my ex at all he come to my house talking bout he wanna come home you are a cheater no thanks I just want 401 k an my allamoney the woman you got will learn 25 yrs of your mess no thanks
He had been calling me4 to5 times every day till June 25.I put a message to him on FB and I thought I was on messenger.hes strict doesn’t want anything private told about our life.Now he want answer any of my text.I have something of his and tried to return it by us meeting.
We live miles apart. We once dated for two years. Everyday seemed brand new. He was dishonest with me. We broke up and I moved. It just happens his son lives in the same state I do. I forgave him and we would get together when he came to town. I didn’t chase him and he said he was going to be around a lot. Now I find myself appearing needy as I am so in love. I think he just wants a casual deal. He spoils me to death we have a great time and he likes me and cares for me. His words. What should I do to get him to come forward or not?
Tell him to tell his miserable wife the truth for once.
Couldn’t agree more, Why do lots of women want men who are already in a relationship, maybe as they’ve done the hard work getting him to be open honest etc and monogamous he may have an affair emotional or physical if the wife doesn’t find out doubtful he will leave his cosy life as often the grass isn’t greener if he starts seeing her full time instead of secret stolen moments quickly realizes that now he’s seen her and can tell she’s good enough for a fling but not for a relationship or to meet family, friends etc sadly if put on a plate it will be a side dish be nice if women showed some solidarity if he’s take he’s taken. I’m so glad I bought the house and car my mantra is if you are here you’re hear, if your not all in , step out of the doorway you are blocking nice guys from saying hello and finding out if we match up
Because the best ones are always taken.
I’ve had no contact with my ex since Feb. 15th. My birthday was April 15th. I was starting to feel better and settling in my life content with myself. I thought of him every day and went through the emotional pain. It’s 9:pm, on my birthday and I go outside to let my two little dogs potty, and there on my porch sitting on my bench is a dozen hot pink roses(my fave), a package of 4 Reese’s candy bars, and a beautiful card signed “love you forever “. I sent him a message to thank him for thinking of me. I knew he was dating someone because the weekend before I was with my good friend and her daughter’s friend lives on his street and when we dropped her off. I saw her car. Later on Stace and I drove by there at 3am and her car was still there. Made my heart sink. I told her that I am going to move on and let him go. Boom! It’s my birthday he makes that move and makes me weak. Later on I had a few glasses of wine in me and decided I was going to go over and see him. I got all cleaned up and put on a sexy little dress, drove over to his house and there’s her car again and she’s there all weekend with him. He contacted me Monday about 3pm on his way to work. My gut said she was still at his house. Curiosity killed the cat. I drove by, she was there. He continues to message me declaring I’m his soulmate and the love of his life. He can’t stop thinking about me and wants me to be his wife someday still. I didn’t reply. He came to my door today and when I opened the door he grabbed me into a tight hug, crying saying he doesn’t want to be without me but I have to do what needs to be done. I tell him that I am doing it and I am doing it for myself first. My heart escaped the cage I had it locked in and made me blurt all my feelings out. He said he wants me& he loves me and he really wasn’t trying to start anything he just wanted to remember my birthday. He messaged me again tonight from work flirting and I told him to please leave me alone and don’t contact me anymore if was still going to be seeing her. No response and I just went by there, her car is there again. She lives 58 miles from our town. She has a key to his house and they went to dinner on Easter with his good friends in Louisville. They are having a late Easter dinner with his family this weekend. She filed for divorce from her husband of 21 years 3/6/22, and it’s not final until June 6,2022. She’s describes herself to be a good Christian and holier than thou. Jezebel! What should I think about all this? I’m so confused and sad. I deserve better than that I hope?
Hi,
If it’s one thing I’ve learned in a half century of my life, when someone wants to do something bad enough, they will.
He wants to keep you on the side fir whatever reason. I’d tell him to get lost that you’re nobody’s number 2, you’re number 1 or not at all.
He can’t reach out to me I have blocked him on everything 2 weeks after our last conversation some woman started posting pictures of him and her on Facebook stating she had started seeing him he was her new man etc when I asked him about the pictures he DENIED being romantically involved with her despite the pictures showing otherwise.
Within 2 weeks of that she tags him in a relationship status update. They are now in a committed relationship all super fast and it’s her doing all this tagging posting photos etc not him
I blocked him on everything after he lied to me about being with this woman
That was 2 months ago
I don’t want to talk to him and don’t want him contacting me
hence why he is blocked
I wouldn’t take him back after that