The simple answer is: yes. Regardless of how bad your breakup was, you can still rekindle a relationship. In fact, time apart might be what was needed to spice things up overall. However, you shouldn’t be too hasty to go back to an ex without first resolving the issues that caused the breakup in the first place–otherwise, you may find yourself in the same painful situation again.
Contrary to popular belief, many couples who break up do end up getting back together. To be successful, both parties should be willing to reach a compromise. Here are a few ways to get back with your ex after a bad breakup:
Identify What Happened
For the relationship to work, you must identify the primary cause of the breakup; this is the only way to find a lasting solution. It’s easier said than done and can require that both parties get out of their comfort zone and speak about what’s bothering them deep down. Openly communicating about past pain can help a couple get closer to each other. For example, understanding why men pull away after getting close could reveal that he is afraid of the feelings he’s been experiencing.
Listen to Your Partner
In most breakups, each person tends to blame the other for the failed relationship. The only way to resolve the conflict is by seeing things from your partner’s perspective. Blaming yourself also doesn’t help the situation–instead, both of you should focus on communicating openly to understand how the other person truly feels. If you’re wondering how to forgive your boyfriend for hurting you, the answer lies in listening to their reason. You may end up forgiving them and rekindling your relationship.
Discuss Lessons From the Breakup
It’s often said that each tear is a lesson and the same couldn’t be truer for a breakup. Taking a break can help either or both parties learn more about themselves, what they really want, and what they love in their partner. Many times, these aspects aren’t entirely clear until time is spent apart.
Come up With Actionable Solutions
In order to get him back after he moved on, it’s important to discuss ways to make the relationship stronger. This will require deliberate effort, because it can be challenging to change old habits. Some of the changes to consider include coming up with ways to communicate more efficiently and putting boundaries in place to avoid returning to the same unhealthy situation in the relationship.
Don’t Be Afraid to Seek Help
If both of you want to get back together and there are some unresolved issues that are trickier to navigate, you can involve a third party. Reach out to other couples who have successfully picked up the pieces and rekindled their relationship after time apart, or if you want to keep matters private, you can reach out to a relationship counselor or undergo couple’s therapy.
Make a Grand Gesture
Sending flowers is one of the most effective ways of letting your partner know that you care greatly about them. You can go the extra mile by surprising them with something that they’ve always looked forward to having, such as a ticket to their favorite game or concert. However, you don’t have to break your bank to send a clear message–the most important thing is letting the other person know that you still think about them.
Acknowledge Your Contribution to the Breakup
Acknowledge your mistakes without blaming yourself; you can then discuss ways to move on from there. Your partner will also likely acknowledge what they could have done better, and both of you should make a deliberate effort not to repeat these mistakes.
Getting back together may not happen in a day–the trick is to be patient and avoid blaming yourself or your partner entirely. Instead, both partners should acknowledge their role in the breakup and move on from there. If things still aren’t working out, consider visiting a relationship counselor.