Relationships are complicated, and no matter how committed you are, there’s bound to be some friction along the way. Small lies might be easy to get over, but something like infidelity can put a lot of stress on a relationship and lead to a breakup.
Forgiveness can help you overcome whatever your man has done to you, even if he pulled away suddenly. With that being said, it can take months or years to get over the hurt, and it will take a lot of work from both partners to build up trust again. If you truly want to stay together and get past an indiscretion, here are some tips on how to forgive your boyfriend for hurting you:
Why Forgiving Your Boyfriend Is Crucial
If you haven’t forgiven your boyfriend, you cannot move on and turn your relationship into something beautiful again. You’re more likely to wander away from commitment if you’re not working on making the relationship stronger. Some relationship counselors have equated harboring resentment as drinking poison and expecting the other party to die.
Forgiveness begins when you openly discuss with your boyfriend what he did to you and why it’s so upsetting to you. By addressing the root cause of the conflict, you have a greater chance of not repeating the mistake in the future–potentially helping you to get back together after a bad breakup.
How to Forgive Your Boyfriend After Hurting you
Establish a safe space where you can discuss your issues and past events without judgment. You can do this when you’re both alone or in the presence of a relationship counselor or therapist. Speaking openly about the root cause of the conflict is the surest way to work through your issues.
If he cheated on you, you should encourage him to come to terms with what may have provoked him to do this in the first place so he can avoid it happening again in the future. It’s not going to be easy to listen to him on this subject, but it’s important to avoid interruptions even when you feel like you have to respond. Exercise compassion and try to see things from his point of view if you want to get anywhere with the discussion–and especially if you want to stay together.
Set Rules for the Discussion
He may be at fault, but it can also help if you recognize the part you played in the situation. This may be especially difficult if he cheated on you, but following the rules set for the conversation is the most effective way of working through your overarching relationship issues.
Consider Taking a Break
Most couples avoid taking breaks even after a heated disagreement, but sometimes a break is exactly what you both need. Discuss the importance of taking the break with your partner and how long it should ideally last.
If you’re wondering about how to win a guy back after he dumps you, consider having a counselor present. This may be more effective as the counselor can mediate the conversation and make sure it is productive.
Set New Rules
Setting new rules reduces or eliminates the chances of the transgression reoccurring. If, for example, he cheated on you, you should consider making sure he gives you the passwords to his phone, emails, and social media accounts. Changes should go both ways, so you should share your passwords to help him understand the importance of having nothing to hide.
Forgiveness is crucial if you want to keep nurturing the relationship with your partner. For this to happen in a healthy way, you both need to be on the same page and take deliberate steps in the right direction. If you’re still finding it difficult to forgive, you can always seek the advice of a relationship counselor–you can also call it quits if the situation is extreme.