Is it true that if a man wants you, he will pursue you first?
Now this is a tricky question because by nature men usually do approach women first, if they feel desire. If he feels physical attraction for you then he pushes himself to be brave, to take the initiative, and to be creative or passionate so as to impress his audience.
Usually men do make the first approach, unless the man in question is exceptionally shy. But even then, just doing the bare minimum—like looking in his direction or starting a platonic conversation—is usually enough to get him excited and interested.
A man who wants you looks for an excuse to talk to you. It’s a pretty simple rule. So if a man does not seem into you or attracted to you he’s got it in his head that you’re not his type. First impressions count.
That means that if you want him to be attracted to you, it’s time to change the negative perception he has.
This doesn’t mean that you should pretend to be someone you’re not. Deep down, you know that’s a one-way street to defeat and humiliation. If you want love, don’t fake anything. Be real.
The trick then is to start erasing the negative perception he has about you by showing him your BEST qualities, and of course, the qualities he is attracted to by nature. Here are four things men usually love to hear—and by no coincidence, what attractive women are usually very good at saying;
1. Use his name. As in, “Bob, let me just say this…”
(You see, she’s using his name to direct his attention)
This seems a bit random, doesn’t it? But using a man’s first name really does have full impact—like a swear word, only much cleaner. When you use a man’s first name it shows him that you are thinking about him, you are talking to him, and he has your undivided attention. It’s what men want. When you use his name, sparingly, and with direct eye contact, it produces an almost aphrodisiacal, hypnotic effect in a man who may be indifferent to you. For this moment, he knows he is on your mind and he’s curious. It works doubly well if it’s in a “sexy setting” like a bar or club or something with the positive association of sex.
2. Use fewer words. Keep your sentences vague and mysterious. As in, “The whole experience was a dream come true! So glad I went. I got everything I wanted. Anyway…”
(His instinct is to ask, “Really? What did you want?”)
Yes, we’re not so much focusing on power words or sneaky sentences but the MOTIVATION behind your statements. Women who talk too much or share too much information with a man they don’t know very well are all but eliminating the chase. They remove the competition, they give the man so much information, he can’t process it all—and more importantly, he can’t desire that information.
A wise woman knows that projecting a mysterious air works better with men since she gives them a reason to be interested in her. Now the men feel, not just desire for sex, but also the desire to learn more about her. This appeals to a man’s need to understand her and classify her as a “type”.
When you avoid giving a man too much information, you let him know that getting to know you will be a challenge and that you are not a stereotypical “type” who falls into a category he can easily reject or accept. Work is involved. A chase is required.
3. When you compliment him make sure it’s about what he DOES and not his potential. As in, “I really admire what you do for work. It sounds exciting and helpful.”
(Focusing on something he is and actually goes—not just random physical compliments)
Men do love compliments and frankly, if the guy you like seems allergic to your compliments then you are probably over-flattering him rather than sticking to performance based compliments. Men don’t like flattery because it’s based on appearances or what he assumes everyone can plainly see about him. But when you give him credit for what he actually does in life (his art, his job, the way he treats people, or even the way he dresses) you’re sending a strong message: I admire the real you. I admire the person you are. Big difference between over-flattering him for something he hasn’t specifically “done”. And that is a big difference because men are “work horses” in the sense that they want to be appreciated for what they do.
4. Paint for him a memory with strong feelings and tie it in with your friendship. As in, “Remember the first time we met and how freezing cold it was at the concert?”
(He instantly recalls that day, that feeling and the excitement of that event. Now he remembers meeting you as a positive thing)
This works very well with couples in a relationship and can even work with friends who haven’t taken yet that step. You both remember feelings, visuals and thoughts about the past. You can summon them up at any time…until you forget they ever happened.
So rather than letting the guy forget the first time he met you—because it was uneventful and unemotional—remind him of the scene. Was there music? Was there beautiful scenery? Was there something funny happening? All of these are emotional memories he has of the experience and by making him think back to it, you make him recall what he was feeling. Now he’s less likely to forget the encounter.
This technique works even better as you start dating and can recall a positive and impacting “moment” from the past when you both felt a connection. These feelings you make him recall helps create a “love rush” – a story AND experience that he can easily remember and associate with romance.
Don’t pretend to be someone else…be a BETTER version of yourself, and one who has mastered the lost art of good conversation.
Phrases Every Guy Wants To Hear At Least Once From A Woman
If you’re a FEMALE then this is going to be the most valuable
message you’ll ever see.
I want to reveal “Psychological Hidden Messages” that provoke any
man to feel so much ADDICTIVE LOVE that he’ll fall at your feet just
for a moment of your attention.
Go here now…
I want you to participate in a fun little experiment…
Number 1- Listen very closely to the secret “Hidden Messages”
that I’ll share here.
Go here now…
Trust me, it’ll excite you so much that you’ll watch this twice.
Number 2- Pick any man you desire. Even that man who
has bluntly rejected you.
Number 3- Use these “Hidden Messages” on him exactly as
described and notice how a sudden avalanche of desire
erupts inside him.
First his heart will start to race.
Next, his breathing will get faster.
And suddenly, he will experience a thousand different feelings
of PASSIONATE LOVE that makes him want to possess
you, capture you, and make you his forever and ever.
These commands cause the male brain to release
something called norepinephrine…
Also known as the excitement hormone.
Have you ever seen lovers who are so head over heels
into each other that they talk all night…
And can’t go without a moment of longing to touch
or see one another?
That’s because they’re high on this very hormone.
It leads to a special kind of “LOVESICKNESS” where a
man’s imagination just can’t rest…
And he falls neck deep in love with whoever happens to be
nearby when this hormone is circling his body.
Try this on any man of your choice right now, follow this
See you soon,
26 thoughts on “What to Say to a Guy to Make Him Want You”
I have been following your emails/links for about 4 months now. I must say your information is on target and helpful.
After reading your messages on a regular basis, I feel like you are talking to me directly.
Thanks for all the great advice.
Thank you so much Matthew coast for your advice,l have learnt many things from this
You’re welcome! I’m glad it’s helping you!
I love some one deeply. He is like world me for me now. I really really need your help. Me response.
What if has always been a sexual attraction
Everything you say is so true. It’s teaching me a lot
i’m going to really try harder to u see e ur suggestions cos our relationship is in trouble. it seems like I do everything n he appreciates it, but then again he expects me to do it. we’ve been together 18 yrs n no marriage n that’s not what I want. I do it because I love him but even though we talked many times through the years bout marriage, why should he marry me I’ve been good to him n he’s good to me. but this isn’t what he talked about. I think I should just walk away n be gone n with no more contact with him
Thanks for your emails. I love them all.
I really need your help I know I’m loseing the guy I’m best freinds with but fell in love with we done everything together but I just seem to get frustrated with him at times because I love him so
For few months have followed u Matthew have learnt many things thanks ur information s so helpful God bless you
Matthew, I really like a guy but it’s impossible to meet at the moment because of the virus. Thank you for the excellent advice on how to get him interested. He was once and I rejected him but now want to entice him back into being interested in me like he was before.
How can I get my man back because he was in love with me but now no I don’t no what to do
I have a friend that works 3000 miles away we only met once in passing. He is a widower for 6 yrs now and I’m a widow also .He had a bad relationship with one woman . He is saying hedoesnt want to be serious Ido. I get missed vibes from him .he texts and calls me everyday and we will see each other in Aug. We talk like a couple together .would love some advice .
What should a women do or say when a man say you want me more than i want you
Hi there just wondering if you can help
I was with ths man for four years and i sent him a text oe morning and he sent me one back saying he did not want to have a relationship any more. I did all the wrong things to show him I cared calling texting e mailing sending gifts to his housw nothingot worked no response at all. i have been blocked from everything except e mail. It hs now been 7 months. He sent me one e mail telling me I m delustional and toxc and poison. Stated if I ever come over to his house will call the police. What kind of man does this to someone who has always been good to him. I have not been mean to him once. Should I just leave him alone for good?
Should I totally justt walk away or continue with e mail once in awhile to communicate. He broke all trust I have in men. I have cried every day.
does he not see I care and just wanted some communication from him. I don t think in my life I will ever do this again ever give my heart away just to be stomped on. I feel like was just a convenience for him.
i d really like some feed back
It’s difficult to understand why men wouldn’t appreciate a woman willing to give so much – but, when a woman is willing to give more than she is given in return – her value becomes diminished. Men appreciate and value what they earn. If they don’t have to work for it – they think it must not be worth as much.
I don’t know if this situation can be corrected. I wouldn’t invest anymore of myself – when it’s clear he does not appreciate or value it. Next time, value yourself and give yourself to someone that respects you and earn the gifts you have to offer.
You know it sounds like he is a jerk and doesn’t deserve you. Don’t give up on love he just wasn’t the right guy for u.
Thanks for your emails I have learned a lot from them. I just wish I could email you privately about some things that I have on my mind..
I love your emails,I wish I could email you privately.
Thanks for your emails. I’ve really learnt a lot from them
Hi I’m talking to this guy long distance and really like him everything was going good and due to some stuff was planning on moving closer to him however he texted me the other day and told me that a girl he had a crush on a year ago started talking to him and he wants to pursue her however he told me he loved me would like to try if it doesn’t work out with the other girl is there a way to get him to come back to me I will still be moving to Texas if not but just wondering
I’ve been married 9 years. My husband is vacant. I wanted to say emotionally but it’s more than that. Everything he’s says to me is I love you, is so mechanical or routine. We rarely even touch unless its leading to the bedroom. I’ve tried to talk to him, ask questions without accusations, I’ve begged, screamed, cried, nothing works. I don’t get it. Now he’s pushed me so far away I’m not sure I want him anymore.
There’s a guy ive been seeing i think he likes me too bcus there’s alot of chemistry between us but all of a sudden its drifting away and now we barely talk and all….
Initially he said he doesn’t want 2 date for now but i juat couldnt help myself and now everything i do he’s always in my head