“Dirty talk” is a term coined to define any sort of explicit or sensual conversation. That’s right, whether you’re whispering in his ear or writing dirty texts to send to your long-distance boyfriend, dirty talk can happen anytime, anywhere. If you and your man are in a period of time where most of your interactions are over text or video chat, you probably see the allure in dirty talk online.
A common misconception is that dirty talk has to be raunchy or explicit—it doesn’t. Dirty talk can be sweet, romantic, or even funny. When you tailor your dirty talk to what’s personal or exciting for you and your partner, it can bring you closer together. If you want to know what you can say to your boyfriend to talk dirty, we have the perfect guide for you.
Because so much dirty talk is reliant on how you say things, talking dirty over text can be tricky. You want to make sure you have the right tone while keeping it exciting and stimulating for you both. The tips below are sure to ignite that spark between you two, even when you can’t be right next to each other.
How to Keep the Spark from Afar
He could be on a guys’ trip or you could be out of town on business, and the space beside you in bed feels cold. You reach for your phone and he’s the one you want to talk to. If you want to heat things up under those chilly sheets, these tips are sure to make you both swoon.
Be a Sight for Sore Eyes
It doesn’t matter your age, too many people hide behind text messages. It’s comfortable when he can’t see you pick your cuticles or have him believe you’re still a goddess when he’s not looking directly at your face mask. The quickest way to pique his interest will be with a visual.
A quick photo of you snuggled in bed with a coy smile on your lips will get him going—and that’s not explicit at all. Even with no makeup or when you’re in your baggy pajamas, this man adores you. When you show yourself off with confidence, it catches his attention. Definitely take out your retainer and peel off your pimple patch first, then snap, and add a cute caption. We typically go the “I wish you were here” route to get things started.
Don’t Be Shy
When it comes to trying new things in the bedroom (or in the virtual world), nobody wants to be the one to make the first move. If you’re wondering how to get your boyfriend to talk dirty over text first, be bold and introduce the idea yourself.
The best way to ease into dirty talk is to start innocently–ask him if he recalls a certain sexy time the two of you spent together. Of course he does! Then slowly recall each detail of the encounter. Focus on what excited you, how that felt physically and mentally, and ask what he remembers. See where I’m going with this?
By reflecting on a time you both enjoyed, you learn what the other likes. You get a sensual deep-dive into what specifically turns him on, and can communicate your turn-ons as well.
Explore With Each Other
An emotionally safe and sensually stimulating way to explore your sexuality with your partner with your imagination. No, this isn’t a creative writing class–posing suggestive hypotheticals and questions is a good way to get flirtation going over text.
One of the easiest questions you can ask to get a dialogue going is: “What would you do if I was with you right now?”
By asking a question, you’re coyly inviting him to make a move. You’re letting him steer the direction of the conversation, which can be helpful if you still don’t feel confident about where to start. If you’re especially creative, go ahead and weave in as much of a storyline as you want.
Dirty talk isn’t just reserved for phone sex operators, and it can be really enlightening for your relationship as well. You can shape the tone of your delicious dialogue to suit the relationship you and your man share. For more tips on building fulfilling intimacy with your partner, check out The Touch of Love and Irresistible Texts programs from Commitment Connection!