The digital age sparked some new ways for people to interact in their relationships. Great things come from the internet, and I’m not just talking about your latest Amazon order. We meet our partners online and have conversations over text, and all of our memories are stored in the cloud. Today, we connect with one another over text.
The term “sexting” is used to describe written dirty talk over a digital messaging platform. Just because it happens over text doesn’t make it any different than traditional (i.e., face-to-face) dirty talk.
Dirty talk over text is a normal part of the modern relationship. It’s convenient if you aren’t feeling your best but still want a steamy interaction with your man, and if you want to bond when you’re in a long-distance relationship. Crafting the best dirty messages to send to your boyfriend can add a new element of sensuality and intrigue to your relationship.
How to Set the Mood Over Text
When you’re learning how to talk dirty to your boyfriend online, it can feel like you don’t know where to start. Maybe you want to dirty text your long-distance boyfriend first, but don’t know how to get him moving in that direction. Sometimes, we feel more comfortable when someone else takes the reins in the relationship.
Keep in mind that your man is still a man. He wants to feel desired and appreciated just as badly as you do. Without explicitly asking or pressuring him, you can get him to open up to you with dirty talk, and feel confident doing so.
Dirty talk is another form of flirtation and intimacy. It can be just as sexy to allude to intimacy or the possibility of it as it is to get straight to the point. However, remember that there is a payoff to building anticipation. When you leave things up to the imagination, his mind can run wild and that alone can be incredibly stimulating.
Simple ways to build anticipation are:
- Ask questions: Some simple questions can come across as innocent or not-so-innocent. When you toe the line of innocence and flirtation, it will drive him wild. A few phrases you can use include “What would you do right now if I was with you?” and “Do you want to know what I can’t stop thinking about?”
- Start small: Jumping right into seductive phrases might catch him off guard and make you lose momentum. Start with a small compliment about one of his features and then progress to what you would like that part of him to do–this will definitely warm him up to some dirty texting.
Walk Down Memory Lane
If you’re struggling with what to talk about during your sexting session, refer to your archive of steamy interactions with your boyfriend. By reminding him of your favorite intimate encounters, you’re telling him you find him sexy and that he is good at turning you on. Moreover, he can see what aspects of those encounters you enjoy the most, and what he should keep doing.
Here are a few tips for reminiscing on how he turns you on:
- Anything goes: Anything you find sexy about him is fair game. Whether it was something he did with his mouth or just that time he carried your suitcase up three flights of stairs, pick a moment you couldn’t get enough of him and start there.
- Details matter: Provide as many delicious details as possible. The longer you draw out and detail a moment, the more anticipation builds and the more he can imagine the sensations you’re describing.
- Take turns: He can recall the encounter from his point of view, or you can turn the tables and ask him about a time he found you irresistible. Dirty talk is a two-way street, and it’s a great way to build each other up.
Divulge Your Dirty Little Secrets
Dirty talk can also be a great way to open up conversations about sex without feeling the pressure of an in-person conversation. You can learn about your partner’s desires and also spill some of your fantasies–this allows you to set boundaries and also see what you are both open to exploring. Some things to keep in mind during this conversation are:
- Reflect: Let him know that some things are just sexy to talk about and some things you would actually be willing to try. This is completely normal, and many couples explore different turn-ons only over text or phone calls but don’t follow through with physical actions because they understand each other’s boundaries.
- Describe: Tell him what you like and ask what he likes. This is a great jumping-off point if either of you is unsure of where to start.
- Be open: With boundaries squared away, let him know what you would like to try. Don’t be afraid to mention some of the more explicit things from your internet search history; it might kick you off in a fun direction.
Sealed With a Kiss
The art of dirty talk is one that takes time to master. When you’re texting your boyfriend, you want to balance respecting boundaries with spicing things up. By starting slow, reflecting on your turn-ons, and being open with one another, you will build an intimate connection with your man.
Learn more about the art of digital flirtation with the Irresistible Texts program at Commitment Connection!