You’ve fallen for a guy. He’s charming, sweet, funny, attractive, and talented—the list can go on and on. He popped up in your mind, didn’t he?
You know who we’re talking about.
He’s everything you could want in a partner, except for one thing—he’s emotionally unavailable. I know where you’re at. You might feel frustrated, defeated, hopeless, and simply desperate for a solution; you just want him to fall in love with you.
While we sometimes know things like what causes someone to fall in love, or certain techniques for how to win over a man, or what questions to ask to make a guy fall in love, these don’t apply to everyone–especially when dealing with an emotionally unavailable man; the approach will be slightly different.
Why? Because it’s difficult to make an emotionally unavailable man fall in love with you. These men tend to be resistant to any kind of emotional connection by nature. Being attached to an emotionally unavailable man is difficult to navigate, but not impossible.
A Little Patience
When it comes to making an unemotionally available man fall for you, patience is the key. Your man might not be fully ready or willing to express his feelings, and that is okay. Some men need space and time to come to terms with what they feel, and they eventually open up on their own time.
No amount of pressure or begging will speed this up. In fact, it might have the opposite effect and push him further away.
I’m not telling you to wait forever, but I am telling you this—give him time, give him space, and let him feel comfortable around you. If he knows he is safe expressing himself around you, he will most likely open up eventually.
Remember That It Is Not About You
If he is not reciprocating the level of commitment and emotional investment that you are giving him, it can be very easy to make the situation about you. And while I empathize with you and want to help you through this, you should remember that fighting him risks suffocating him in the long run. In those cases, you won’t be any closer to figuring out what is going on–and that is what you want to do.
Focus on trying to put yourself in his shoes and understanding his emotional state. Did he experience something in the past that made him close up? Gently try to get to know him and understand his experiences. Don’t judge him or try to fix things for him. Just listen to him, and show him you care.
Respect His Boundaries
As much as you want someone to change, it is important to respect their boundaries. Hold yourself back from trying to get into his head.
Remember to try to put yourself in his shoes and ask yourself if there is anything stopping him from meeting you halfway. When you feel like you’re pressing him for an answer, don’t push. If he refuses to continue a conversation or asks you to drop it, the best thing to do is respect his wishes.
Falling for someone emotionally unavailable can be particularly painful, but by being patient and focusing on understanding first, you can set the groundwork for your love to open up to you and finally let you in. The experts at Commitment Connection are ready to help you do just that!