Have you ever heard the old expression that relationships are a gamble? You lose some, you win some, you just have to gamble and hope for the best.
Well, that’s kind of a dangerous way to go through life, wouldn’t you agree? Maybe a better way to say it is to say that relationships are like making a good investment. Good investments are calculated. Somewhat predictable. Based on a specific market movement.
In contrast, gambling is anything goes. It’s just as easy to win as it is to lose. And if you go to a casino? Chances are the odds are definitely against you.
That’s why it’s better to look at a relationship as an investment – something that requires careful thought, strategy, and analysis. Take your time and don’t get caught up in the emotion until you can observe the facts that tell the same story.
For instance, there are at least six signs that show a man is not serious about you – no matter what he says or promises. If you view your relationship as an investment, you would catch wise to these glaring signs before moving the relationship further.
1. He doesn’t really do you any favors.
A man who’s serious about you WILL go out of his way to please you, do you favors, make your life easier, and generally just court your attention. He doesn’t even think of them as favors. He just enjoys providing for you, in whatever way you specifically need. Providing for you brings him joy.
In contrast, a man that’s not serious about you will always put you second in his life. He’ll call or come by when it’s convenient for him. He’ll do “favors” for you, at a price. He’ll negotiate these favors. Or, he might not show up at all. You are simply not a priority to him, which strongly indicates he is not chasing you. You’re chasing him. And that’s why the relationship is steadily sinking.
2. He’s not that interested in getting to know you – he knows “enough.”
You might say there are two types of men in the world. Men who listen and WANT to know all about you and your “story.” And men that just get the bare minimum. They want the gist of your story, the basic demographics and stats – because that’s all they care about.
For many men, the old “ASL?” question is enough of your story. If a man uses general disqualifiers as a conversation starter, well…it’s safe to say he’s not that interested in learning about you at all.
So the guy who’s not serious about you only cares about your story as much as he can use that information to his own advantage.
It’s best to avoid this guy, not necessarily because he’s a “player”. More like, because he’s only interested in finding a certain type of girl, a “trophy wife” so to speak. Someone who provides for him, and who worships the ground he walks on.
But your story isn’t that interesting to him. And that’s a danger zone for sure.
3. He keeps many secrets.
As you get to know a guy, he will want to share everything with you. Dark secrets, sure. Long lost memories, forbidden fantasies, long-forgotten dreams, all of it. That’s part of the fun of a new relationship built on true compatibility.
However, if you notice over time that your crush or part-time boyfriend isn’t growing closer to you, or somehow gives you “just enough” information that you stop asking questions, this could be a sign of trouble.
If a man keeps secrets from you, that means either he literally can’t talk about it (which is concerning by itself) or that he keeps part of his life completely off-limits to you. If he’s serious about loving you he will want to tell you these things. If he doesn’t, there’s still a lack of trust. Or maybe he’s afraid of being vulnerable.
Maybe he keeps his family or his entire lifestyle a mystery to you. Isn’t that a rather major secret that you would like to know before investing more time and more of your heart?
4. He’s all about the now – not tomorrow.
What about the guy that says, “Don’t worry about tomorrow?” Hey, it sounds good to sha la la la la live for today, as the song goes. But when you’re with a guy and he’s SO in the moment that he avoids all talk of commitment, the future, or where he sees the two of you going, that’s a stop sign.
5. He’s never around when you need him the most.
Does your man go out of his way to be there when you need him? Or does he seem to pop up ONLY when things are going great, when there’s a party, or when life is good? This is the ultimate test of a man’s integrity.
Most guys will show up for a party. But only someone truly special will make it a point to be there for you when times are rough. Or when you need someone to talk to. He’s not just there during the good times. He’s there for the downtime and even the worst of times. That’s someone you can count on.
Guys who avoid you and say “Yikes!” to all your personal issues, are obviously not in this for the long-term.
6. Either you, him or both of you, are not being your true selves.
In short-term relationships, you might say that neither of you are being your true selves. You’re just projecting “one note” of true yourself. Your best face forward. Simple stuff, fun, no strings, just casual dating.
In order to keep this shallow dynamic going, you have to avoid revealing your true self. Revealing your true feelings, your more complex views and values, might even change the whole relationship.
So if you feel like you can’t be your true self around him? It’s very likely neither of you are vested in this relationship, beyond the sex and affection.
7. Your spidey-sense tells you things are not OK.
Finally, if you sense that something is off, and that he’s not “serious” about you, take those instincts seriously. It’s usually NOT your own insecurity. Rather, you’re noticing little things. Patterns. Indicators that he’s not moving things forward, even when he has the opportunity. He’s either stepping back, slowing down, or maybe completely ceasing all communication – when you should be growing closer together!
The important thing to ask yourself is: Is he trying to work through these issues or does he always suppress? Does he shut down conversation rather than letting you into his heart and mind? That’s a telling sign how the relationship is progressing.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
