Deciding how to ask a guy out on a date might be easy if you have bags of confidence and won’t bat an eyelid if he says no–but that isn’t the case for most of us.
Dating links in with our emotions, past rejections, sense of self-worth, and countless other important elements, and it is normal to feel worried or anxious if you really like a guy and want to make the first move.
Today, we’ll look at practical tips to help you muster your courage and learn how to get a guy to date you with a cool, calm, and stress-free approach.
1. Avoid Procrastination
One of the number one reasons women struggle to ask a guy out is that they haven’t seized the moment and gone for it when the time feels right. We tend to overthink and overanalyze our choice of words and sabotage a fantastic opportunity to take a connection forward.
There are times that are better suited to discussing your emotions or suggesting a date than others, but waiting for the perfect time might mean you keep putting it off until it’s too late. The ‘right moment’ is a social construct, and procrastinating or waiting for a time when you feel at your absolute most confident can mean missing out, so try not to let your fears hold you back.
2. Accept That Nerves Are Natural
Almost every person in the world has a comfort zone, and putting our feelings on the line doesn’t tend to be inside it. If you can make peace with the reality that asking a guy on a date is usually nerve-wracking, you can stop yourself from buying into the thought that perhaps that’s a bad sign.
Imagine that those butterflies in your stomach are excitement, not nerves, and channel your energy into a positive mindset. Experiencing nerves when you’re talking to someone you like is more typical than not–if you aren’t nervous at all, it may be an early indication that you don’t feel strongly enough about this person for it to develop into a meaningful relationship.
3. Reaffirm Your Qualities and Value
In many ways, our minds can be our worst enemies, and if you’ve ever caught yourself speaking to yourself in a way you’d never imagine talking to your best friend, you’re not alone.
Worried about how to ask a guy out through online dating because you think he might say no, or you perceive that his previous partners have all been more attractive? Put those negative thoughts aside, use breathing and affirmations to remind yourself of your best qualities, or try power poses if you’re facing overwhelming nerves.
Confidence is incredibly attractive, and if you can tackle your anxieties and take control over your thoughts, you’ll be in a great headspace to take the plunge.
4. Recognize That He Could Say ‘No’
If you are hesitating to ask a guy out because you are concerned about rejection–not because you’re nervous about asking him–it may be important to reassess the situation and appreciate that being turned down for a date isn’t necessarily a massive deal.
While rejection isn’t a great feeling, this is one potential date, and if you play out a theoretical scenario where you don’t get the response you’d like, it can be a powerful way to reset your worries. Plan something fun for next weekend, have a quick scroll through your online dating matches, or book yourself a relaxing spa treatment, so even if you don’t get the answer you’re hoping for, you know that there are great things on the horizon to look forward to.