It might be easy for a pretty woman to get a lot of messages and flirt emoticons on a dating app…but the question is “Are you getting messages from the right kind of man?”
You want a message from a quality date, someone who’s intelligent, independent, confident, and yes, hopefully very good looking!
Is the problem that successful men just aren’t looking? Or maybe they’re super picky?
Not at all. The problem may simply be that something about your profile is questionable and because of this impression, they don’t feel a connection.
Who knew that men actually paid such close attention to profiles? Maybe you thought all you needed was a good picture and a quote from Socrates. Actually no…now more than ever eligible singles really have to compete against each other to get a like or a swipe.
Let’s discuss five signs that your dating profile might be keeping the better roster of single guys away, while inviting those trolls, creeps and bad spellers that nobody wants.
1. Guys seem suspicious about your photos.
The problem may be that you’re not posting enough “down to earth” photos. Photos where you’re hiding your face, or where there is too much blur are usually off-putting to confident guys. For that matter, while glamour shots are hot, they don’t do much in the way of making you approachable. If a man sees a five-star modeling picture along with an accompanying soundtrack of all your favorite death metal albums, you seem more like an entry in a celebrity database than an actual human being. So when people give you the advice to post a good photo, remember to find the balance between beautiful and approachable. Several photos, including shots of you having fun, out with friends, and even during “down time” go a long way towards getting the right kind of attention.
2. Guys immediately seem to think you’re not intelligent.
The problem may be you’re not pushing your intelligence and conversational skills enough in the profile. And yet this is what men want the most! A confident and successful man wants to date an “equal”, someone as intelligent as he is and who can carry on an adult conversation. If then he sees a profile with spelling errors, multiple abbreviations, or a bunch of silly clichés, he will probably shudder. Oh true…if your profile picture is good he may chat you up anyway but your chances of a having long-term relationship just fell. Put some thought into your profile and talk about your hobbies, your life goals or passions, and what you’re looking for in a relationship. Smart guys like ambition!
3. Guys seem bored by you, even though they started the conversation!
The problem is you’re telling rather than showing! Many guys will avoid women if they think they are “self-absorbed” or narcissistic. You probably aren’t either of those things, so why is he presuming so much?
After all, how in the world are you supposed to talk all about yourself and not come across as narcissistic?
The problem is not in talking about yourself, but rather the words and sentences you use—and what you hope to accomplish in your profile text. What actually turns guys off is when you ramble on, brag about your accomplishments, and write with a pretentious air.
In contrast, what men actually want from you is for you to talk about yourself but to also show your “best qualities”, like a sense of humor, a kind disposition, and an interest in meeting new people. Usually, the standard length of a likable profile is about two paragraphs of self description, then two more about the kind of guy you’re looking for (focusing more on HIM) and then a sentence at the end that shows a playful spirit.
4. Men seem unusually shy or reserved when talking to you.
Probably because you’ve scared them a little bit with your overly aggressive profile. Believe me, I understand the need to “filter out” bad news guys from the very beginning. They’re annoying, they’re creepy, they suck! Sure…
But let me tell you a secret. The “filtering process” exists mainly for the benefit of really hot guys that you’re trying to impress. The creeps are not going to stop harassing you so just block them. But when you spend too much time insulting men (or a type of man), or complaining about dating, or lambasting your ex-boyfriend and so on…it really makes single men uncomfortable.
They might be a good match. They could even be the opposite of all those losers you describe. But now, they’re second-guessing themselves. Or worse yet, they think you just have an attitude problem and that you’ll probably judge them too.
That’s why it’s important to keep your profiles positive, fun and very personable. You want to invite smart, funny guys to you. You want to make men feel comfortable talking to you so that you have a wider selection of eligible singles to choose from.
It’s the same principle we teach at work—don’t bring negativity from the last job into the new job interview. Show everyone you’re a team player!
5. (Normal) Guys are just not messaging you at all!
What gives? You have a great photo and a funny profile. You even try to be sweet and honest, saying that you’re looking for a long-term relationship this time, or perhaps are getting over a breakup.
Err…actually THAT could be the problem. Stating that you only want a long-term, serious relationship might turn a lot of guys off. And it’s not necessarily that they’re all looking for one night stands—the problem is that it seems like you’re rushing things rather than taking it slow. As in, you’re only going to date the guy if he’s serious and interested in marriage.
Whoah! A little too fast for the average man.
ANY innocent expression could have a loaded meaning, or at least that’s what guys are thinking. Even expressions like “ready to move on” or “looking for my knight in shining armor” or “aren’t there any good men left?” seem to immediately convey feelings of neediness.
You need a man and any decent man will do!
That’s the message you put out there without realizing it. No wonder guys swipe left…that’s not what any man wants to hear. He wants to feel a special connection. He wants to see firsthand why you’re unique and wants to fall in love over time. That’s the right way to do it.
If you notice a problem in getting responses, or only seem to be getting responses from jerks and creeps, try changing up your profile. You WILL notice a difference! It would also benefit you to check out some of the best female dating profile examples.
The biggest problem with online dating (and how to find your dream man)
If you’ve been unsuccessful with online dating then here’s something you need to hear…
The biggest problem with online dating isn’t your profile pics, what you say, or even your messages…
The biggest problem with online dating is this:
The bad men you have to weed through in order to get to a good guy!
There are actually 7 types of men that you want to avoid online.
If you want to know what those types of men are, how to recognize them, and how to avoid them so that you can attract the RIGHT man for you…
Talk soon,
Matthew Coast
P.S. You CAN find a great guy online… you just need to weed through the “losers” in order to get to him.
If you want to know the secret to attracting your great guy online, click the link below…
I want a guy who will actually do things with me
Even if its doing nothing
Together…hugs telling me to cakm down
Just being there wuth me
Works for me, too!!
Suggests she loses her temper
I like a real relationship and. I’m like to be funny and witty. ButI also like my man to do the same thing.
I was in a relationship with a very nice guy his name is marck but he doesn’t want to be with me anymore because someone i use to date off and on talked about me to him and it must’ve been bad news to him for he ended the relationship we had do not have a clue to what was said or told to him by this guy i barely known. Hurt and upset.
I need a man who will not be ashamed of me
I am trying to man like you that want be ashamed of me In the past I found telling them all about your past they sometimes judge you
Constantly updating profile and updating pics. My senior age and location i feel is the issue although im on international sites. I look a lot younger than my age but Hardly get anyone even viewing profile.
Moni do you have to put your age on these sites? I’m the same older but dont look age so I know what you mean. Remember age is just a number its how you feel and how you perceive life. Be beautiful inside and out and that will shine through. I’m sure you will be fine. Best wishes.
I can see clearly what how these responses are harmful.
I really want to know how deep are his feelings for me?
Need guys city state Waste tomust time on guys other states Also older retired guys please
i just real person no games is there any real guys out here ?
I’m with a guy he claims that he loves me but yet he’s online with all these other girls on different apps what does this really mean we’ve lived together for over three years we don’t even sleep together anymore we barely have sex so I really don’t understand this all these young girls in their 30s are chasing him and he’s like 55 and every time I question it he’s like it’s just an app going on he’s constantly lying
Starting to wonder what is so wrong with me that EVERY guy I get involved with ends up running as fast as he can AWAY from me? I just can’t understand when they all lie out the teeth and say they want a good honest woman and then they all do the same thing and go running for the EMERGENCY EXIT as fast as they can get their legs to carry them after we meet. What gives?¿??
You deserve way better! There’s lots of fish in the sea…this guy is cheating …out he goes!
Honesty is good but too much too soon will have a bad effect. Concentrate on fun experiences rather than intensely focusing on the info you want him to have. It will come out in little bits indirectly at first, which is good. Dating is a process, not a job interview