If you’re like most people, you’ve probably gone through a few breakups. Still, you may wonder why men pull away in the early stages, especially when it comes to that one person you can’t seem to get over because he left an indelible mark in your life. For those cases, here are a few tips that have worked for me on how to win a guy back after he dumps you:
Leverage Time
Time heals all wounds. Don’t be in a hurry to get back with your ex regardless of how badly you want him–block him on your phone and, if necessary, on social media platforms to remain mysterious. He will most likely think about you when he isn’t seeing constant updates about what you are doing. Contrary to popular belief, living out loud on social media by constantly posting can have the opposite effect of what you’re trying to achieve.
Allow yourself time to heal, to make new friends, and start doing the things you love again. Avoid wallowing in hurt and grief, and focus on improving yourself instead.
Pay Attention to His Emotions
It may not seem like it, but he may still have feelings for you and not show it–men often pull away because they are afraid of commitment. If this is the case, it can mean he’s decided to move on, and it may be time for you to cut your losses and try your luck elsewhere. If he still has feelings, avoid bringing up getting back together or arguing about why you should get back together, because he’s most likely not seeing beyond the hurt he’s experiencing. Instead, focus on how he sees you, which can be impacted by how you speak with him.
Control the Narrative
Ask yourself if you truly need him and why. If there’s a valid reason, you can spend the time and effort trying to mend the fences. One thing you need to avoid entirely is coming across as desperate, because this will turn him off completely. Avoid crying in his presence, even when he’s at fault, because he might prey on your emotions. Instead, let him think that the breakup doesn’t affect you at all–keep your best foot forward and anchor yourself in your strength. He won’t be able to help being intrigued by your self-assuredness.
Consider Seeking Help
Sometimes it is difficult to own your mistakes, which may require the intervention of a neutral party. If this is the case, you should consider reaching out to a therapist or a relationship counselor who might be able to help you figure out how best to move forward or how to forgive your boyfriend for hurting you. You and your partner can undergo individual sessions or work through issues in couple’s counseling.
Reach Out to Him
If you’ve taken a break from your ex, have had time to heal, and have found out why you still need him in your life, it’s time to take some actionable steps. Make sure you feel ready to reach out and show him how secure you are in yourself and that you have enough self-love to be able to love him in a healthy way. Once he sees this, you’ll both be ready to have a productive conversation about moving forward together.
