We all know what a player is and some people have mixed feelings about players. After all, haven’t you heard the expression, “I ain’t no player hater, you just ain’t no player?” That indicates players are cool, but YOU SIR, you’re just annoying!
Maybe the issue is that not everyone is clear on what a “player” is by definition, or even colloquially speaking.
After all, I can think of a lot of people I’ve met over the years who fall into a few different categories, but who might be called “players” as a sort of umbrella term for anyone who has commitment issues.
For instance, here are a few different types of players:
A. Extroverted guy, loves women, all women, being around them, being flirty, and being the life of the party
B. Seductive guy, usually lone wolf but very good at seduction and figuring people out
C. Really narcissistic guy, one who manipulates everyone he meets and enjoys the conquest of a relationship
D. Really horny guy that seems cool at first, until you realize he has no willpower and tries to sleep with every woman he meets, regardless of relationship status
As you can see, figuring out the motivations of a player is as complex as the guy himself.
So just to keep things simple, we’re going to focus on the signs to look for, proving he’s a player, and how it’s best to avoid getting involved with him long-term. As the title says, your feelings don’t matter to him. He is going to do what he wants to do and you’re going to be the one who gets hurt.
1. You’re his dirty little secret.
It’s erotic and cute…for a few weeks. Then it gets old fast! The idea of him hiding you from his family? Friends? Every one important in his life? That means you’ve been demoted to friend with benefits – not the place you want to be!
2. He is never emotionally vulnerable around you.
This is the most promising sign when it comes to creating a long-term relationship. A man who trusts you enough to let his guard down and be his true EMOTIONAL SELF trusts you more than anyone. You’ve become someone special to him.
Guys that block you from this honesty are either incapable of intimacy and real emotion, or they really just don’t like you particularly. That’s bad news either way.
3. He always values something else over your happiness.
At first, it’s in little things. He prioritizes other things over you. He rejects you for a better deal. He wants to do his own thing rather than hang out with you. Eventually, you kind of get that he only keeps you around for sex nights (i.e. for when he can USE you) and not actually provide for you in any way.
A man in love with you values your attention and happiness, not “better offers.”
4. Your feelings are always your problem, not his.
He may show sympathy for your pain (sort of) but you always get the feeling he is telling you, “Hey, your emotions are your own problem. Not mine.”
Maybe that sounds honest or “logical” but it’s downright cruel to say to a person that’s supposed to be showing love. If he loves or even likes you, he protects your feelings. He tries his best to inspire you, make you laugh, and bring back positive feelings.
If he prioritizes his wants and needs over your feelings, he will never care about you.
5. Most of his friends are female and he’s always acting like he’s single.
Now, now, I’m not suggesting that he’s not allowed to have female friends. We all have opposite sex friends and it’s not a big deal in a progressive age, right?
But…this refers to something else. He ONLY has female friends. He never seems to talk to guy friends, or if he does, well, they all seem like other players. The main point here is that he acts single, even though he’s supposed to be in a relationship with you.
He’s chasing other women, and that means you’re not quite enough to tame the beast. Is that really how you want to spend the rest of your life?
6. He always complains about the relationship.
As soon as you do start talking, rather than trying to bond with you, he complains about all the things you do wrong. He feels suffocated, or controlled, or limited, or whatever. But he never seems to have anything positive to say.
7. He always has carefully guarded secrets.
There’s a reason he’s guarding those secrets, like secret phones, secret messages, anonymous emails, and so on. It’s some kind of double life he’d rather you not know. Is he a CIA agent? Nah, probably just flirting with other girls.
8. You only really bond over sex.
Sex is probably good…but what else is there? Not much, because sex is the only thing you have in common. He’s a bore in conversation. He never wants to confide anything deep. He asks you nothing except sexual questions. The relationship has an expiration date for sure.
9. He is way too charming – because he’s rehearsed all this before.
This is a gray area, because some guys are confident and are just good conversationalists. They might sound real “smooth” even though deep down they’re a little nervous, or at least a little “humble” in your presence. He asks permission to date you. He doesn’t just grab you, kiss you, and expect you to fall into line. That’s the sign of a player.
When in doubt, rely on the wisdom of the community. What do other women say about him? What do his exes say? His enemies? Even his friends? Does everyone kind of know he’s a player and you’re still wondering if maybe he’s just misunderstood?
In the end, regardless of what personally motivates a player, all the various types have one thing in common. They are not ready for a commitment. Maybe they do have empathy for you, or maybe they have not at all. Regardless, their feelings are not going to prevent them from cheating on you, breaking up with you, abusing you, or neglecting you.
This is why we say “your feelings don’t matter to him” because that’s the key point – he is going to do what he wants because your heartache doesn’t motivate him to change. He’ll either repeatedly apologize, laugh in your face, or ignore the issue…but nothing will change. He will always stay the same until he decides he wants a serious relationship.
You can’t trust a player until he decides to be honest, be himself, and figure out what he wants. And if you try to change him, or fix him, or help him through his issues like a free therapist, you will get your heart broken. It’s time to leave and save yourself!
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
