As a dating coach, women always ask me for dating advice. One of the most common questions is “How do I start a conversation with a guy online?” Of course, it’s pretty simple to send someone a message online and get the ball rolling. However, if they make your heart skip a beat, composing the first message can make anyone tongue-tied.
There are a number of things to keep in mind when starting a conversation with a guy online. You don’t want to come off as too eager and overwhelm him with too much information. At the same time, you don’t want to be too cautious and risk not standing out from the crowd. The introduction is no longer about creating a connection but trying to impress and show him you’re a perfect match. However, talking to guys online shouldn’t be this tough.
Through my dating experience, I’ve realized that talking to someone online isn’t necessarily about composing the most clever text. Instead, it’s about setting yourself up for success before you even introduce yourself. You want the first message you send to spark an initial connection and gauge the possibility of a potential connection in real life.
If you’re ready to dive into online dating, here are some brilliant tips that can help you start talking with a guy online. Also, check out my latest blog post to learn how to start a flirty conversation over text with a guy.
Use Their Social Media Profile as a Conversation Starter
Contrary to what many believe, starting a discussion online isn’t always about having the perfect introduction or the first message. The conversation may still fall flat if you start with a rehearsed line. If you’re ready to slide into your crush’s DMs, be sure to mention something from their profile that’s personal to them.
You can start the conversation by texting, “I see you like going to concerts. I love making playlists! Lately, I’m obsessed with Imagine Dragons, but I’m ready to discover new music. So what sounds are you listening to?” Music is always one of the best conversation starters with your crush.
Keep Your Expectations Low
When starting a conversation with a guy online, start light and casual. After all, you’re just strangers at this point. Until you meet him in real life, you don’t know who he is—or if you have romantic feelings for him.
Lowering your expectations can help you not stress too much about the interaction. It’ll also help you avoid overthinking the situation, allowing you to have more fun talking to him.
For instance, you can start the conversation by texting, “I’m often on the hunt for the best Italian food, too. Of course, this is a cheesy question, but I have to ask anyway. Outside of pasta hunting, what else do you do for fun?”
Take Advantage of the Comment-and-Question Formula
If you’re nervous about talking to someone online, visit their online profile and see if you have any mutual interests. Then, when you’re ready to send a message, don’t forget the winning formula for a great DM is using a comment and a question.
I believe in sending a personal message. However, writing that message shouldn’t require too much energy and time. Start by writing a comment reacting to something on their profile and then ask a question to get their thoughts and create a connection.
For example, you can text, “I loved watching Game of Thrones, too. I loved how thought-proving it was, and I love watching TV shows with unexpected endings. What’s your favorite series to binge watch?”
Starting a conversation with a guy online can feel daunting, but it doesn’t have to be that tough. Approaching online dating from a new angle can make talking to someone online less complicated and more exciting. Like I said, when starting a conversation online, use his profile as a conversation starter and keep your expectations low. This will make starting an interesting conversation with a guy online a walk in the park.