How to Talk Dirty to a Guy (6 Ways He’ll Love)

If you’ve never enjoyed porn or erotica, and yet have put it in your crush’s mind that you’re a wild cat in bed, you may be feeling nervous about your dirty talking technique. Maybe your guy is expecting some sexy dialog hot enough to play on late night cable TV, but you’re feeling as shy as Alice in Wonderland. What is this weird, crazy world called Dirty Talking?

It’s safe to say that many women have not been exposed to dirty talking, since society tends to guilt girls early on for having sexual thoughts or engaging in risky sexual behavior. Of course there’s always porn, but it still has the reputation of being graphic and male-centered. Erotica is making waves these days, but repeating dirty sentences word for word is probably not a good strategy.

But if your crush and future boyfriend really wants to experience passion with you, and looks forward to sex, phone sex, sexting and so on, you want to be prepared.

And no, contrary to popular belief you don’t have to be “experienced” just to be a good lover and a great dirty talker. Take some pointers from the experts and surprise your man with girl-next-door charm AND amazing dirty talking abilities. He’s going to wonder where in the world you learned to talk so naughty!

1. Dirty talking is about intimacy, not shock value.

Porn and erotica actually get dirty talking wrong. It’s not about using F this and F that. It’s about focusing on the intimacy between you, using strong and impacting words that convey feeling. The truly erotic thing about dirty talking is how you’re connecting, mentally, physically and emotionally. You’re having a sexual experience, not just in body but in mind. You’re sharing your most intimate thoughts, wants, and desires. If you said a dozen “shocking things”, it still wouldn’t be as effective as revving up his mind by talking about how close you feel to him. Don’t worry—this isn’t about commitment or marriage. This is about intimacy “in the moment”, no holding back, just connecting together in a new and exciting way.

2. Slower is better.

Dirty talking should be about connecting sensually first and then sexually, since the buildup of sexual excitement is the best part. This is why the first step is in pacing the X-rated conversation for a longer running time. If you have no real pacing and just rush into it you’ll use all your best expressions within 30 seconds. That’s why it’s better to focus on sensual feelings first and then bring on more sexual response later on, when your partner is feeling the heat.

Start by talking about what you FEEL rather than what’s happening. How close do you feel to him? What feelings are you experiencing, as relates to him? What are some things you would never have dreamed telling him the first day you met…but now, have permission to say? Start dirty talking by describing how you feel, then…

3. Move onto to describing how he feels about you and how much you want him.

Now that you’ve excited him with describing how you feel in the moment, butter his ego up by making him feel wanted and desired. Ask him for input on how he feels about you and then run with it, adding more details. This works even better when you describe things visually and aurally. Describing what you’re wearing, or how your heart is pounding at the thought of him touching you, work well in escalating sexual tension.

4. Don’t just focus on emotion—provide more sensual descriptions.

Telling him how you feel is good for getting him going…but you can intensify your feelings and his by describing things in more detail. Think about the five basic senses and then provide details like:

• How good he looks and how sexy you look to him
• How your voice sounds and his voice sounds, whispering closely into your ears
• How amazing your mutual touches feel against the skin (and eventually other body parts)
• How good he smells, or how your scent turns him on
• How you both taste to each other.

5. Choose your swear words carefully.

Swear words should be used like seasoning and only by your earnest desire to say them (same goes for him). You may find that using specific words for genitalia or for emphasis may feel better and more natural than forcing a bunch of four letter words out of your mouth and cringing. A man would rather you say what feels natural and sexy, (even if it’s a lesser word like “screw” or “penis”) so that you give it proper emphasis and actually sound turned on when you say it. But if the idea of saying more extreme words like c__ or p___y does turn you on, then don’t be afraid to say it. Men usually do like it when women talk just as dirty as they do.

The key is to use the word as emphasis. Use a swear word every two or three sentences, mostly focusing on visuals, descriptions and feelings.

6. Talk about (and describe) fantasies. Role play in “real time”.

Roleplay can be done in person, on the phone or even via texting. You simply go from “feeling” to “doing”, and describing to your partner what you’re doing or what you would like to do the next time you meet. You can keep it simple, such as describing the foreplay in sensual detail (remember, visual, aural, feeling, scent and taste), or even describing a hypothetical fantasy you have involving your partner.

Remember to focus on what you want done to you and what you would do to him. Lose yourself in the excitement of this “one night stand” and do something uncharacteristic. Don’t be “you” be a wilder version of you!

Remember the key to teasing him sexually is to build anticipation for the “event” hours or even days in advance. Don’t just wait until you have time to meet in person or play on the phone. Text him during the day, describing sexy things. Then, when you’re on the phone, use your voice to further arouse him, moaning and humming in a passionate way when you speak dirty sentences.

When you finally do meet in person and it’s time for intimacy, stay relaxed. Keep it natural. Keep good eye contact and mirror the way he talks and moves so you can send him all the right signals. Continue dirty talking during foreplay and during sex, using short and emotional sentences about desire. Nothing too long or descriptive. Now it’s time to unleash emotion and raw naked desire. Speak what comes natural, what you want him to do, and what you want to do to him.

Dirty talking is about being honest together and bonding on a much deeper level. Embrace this opportunity to “think out loud” with no filter. Explore his mind along with his body and enjoy a much more intense connection!

40 Flirty Texts That Men Absolutely Love

If you’re struggling to figure out what to say to your man to bring you closer together, I’ve put together a guide of 40 fun and flirty text messages that will spark a stronger and deeper desire in whatever man you use them with.

If you don’t know what to say to your man, use these “cut and paste” text messages from my free guide and watch how much he absolutely loves it!

Click Here to Get My Free Text Message Guide Now

 

 

 

 

 

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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