We are all familiar with the stereotypes about how men are eternal bachelors and want to play the field, and women are desperate for a man to commit to a relationship. The media continues to perpetuate the myth that women fall in love faster than men with popular moves such as He’s Just Not That Into You and Think Like a Man.
What if I told you it’s not true?
A study conducted in collaboration with eHarmony found that men reported falling in love and expressing their feelings earlier than women reported doing the same. Other studies have shown that there are even differences in how men fall in love versus women. On average, men reportedly confess their love an entire six weeks earlier than women. Women tend to take more time to open up emotionally due to the risks involved with falling for the wrong guy.
For example, if a woman becomes pregnant with a child with the wrong man this could be a life-long issue. As such, women may know what questions you can ask to make him fall in love but still want an emotional connection before falling in love themselves. Men? They become physically attracted first.
What makes a man commit and fall in love? That physical attraction can be powerful, but you don’t need an expert to tell you that it’s simply infatuation. To lock in that love and desire for commitment, both parties must feel an emotional connection.
Insights Into Falling in Love
People have been wanting to know the shortcuts to love for centuries. There have been several articles inspired by a 1997 study conducted by psychologist Arthur Aron, which concluded that there are certain questions you can ask to form a stronger bond with your partner.
In Aron’s study, he had subjects ask each other thirty-six questions that were divided into three categories. His theory was that there is a pattern associated with developing close, interpersonal relationships that include “sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.”
Ask Questions to Make Him Fall Totally in Love
Stage One begins with typical icebreaker questions that slowly become more personal. These are great questions to use on a first date to spark some discussion and also get to know him more easily. It’s important to always ask yourself, “Do I also like him, and not just the idea of him?”
Here are some of the questions to consider asking someone you are just getting to know:
- Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest?
- Would you like to be famous? In what way?
- What would constitute a perfect day for you?
- What do you feel most grateful for?
There are a dozen questions that could be asked at this stage, with most leaning toward lighter, positive subjects. How you and your date respond to questions as they get deeper and more personal can tell a lot about how comfortable you feel communicating at this level, or when things aren’t all sunshine.
Stage Two involves a lot of reflection. You can choose to sit with your partner and go through the whole set of questions, but you might find there are more natural ways to integrate them into a conversation. These questions will cause you and your date to really reflect on your core values.
If you’re ready to ask these types of questions, consider:
- Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
- What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
- What does friendship mean to you?
Stage Three pushes you and your partner to understand how you interact and how you view relationships. These conversations help you explore boundaries and understand one another:
- Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling…”
- Tell your partner what you like about him. Be very honest, say something you might not say to someone you’ve just met. Ask them to do the same about you.
- What, if anything, is too serious to joke about?
In Summary
Falling in love and building meaningful connections is more than just saying the right things. The man might fall in love faster, but it’s impossible for true love to flourish if you only give canned responses or say what you think is the right answer instead of what you think and feel.
When you delve deep into yourself and are vulnerable with a partner, you open the door for them to see the real you—and vice versa! Find more ways to be empowered in your love life with Commitment Connection, and finally feel the love you’ve been searching for.
