Online dating can feel like the Wild West, which is why many dating apps have taglines such as “Designed to be Deleted” or “Start Something Real” that emphasize that this is a temporary moment on the path to something better. After all, we just want to find that one person and have our last first date.
Before I found my partner, I was slogging through endless apps touting guys “looking for the Pam to [their] Jim,” a cliche reference from the popular 2005 sitcom The Office. I was putting in the effort to find the best female dating profile examples and trying to keep mine interesting. So many other profiles felt repetitive with prompt answers that felt like they were copied and pasted. I also learned quickly how to tell if a dating profile was fake.
As you explore dating apps and websites, you will find profiles that appear, disappear, and reappear all the time. Here are some reasons why that might happen:
Personal Reasons
Sometimes, we start online dating fully believing we are ready for love. Maybe it’s after a breakup, after making a breakthrough in therapy, or we finally have time!
Then, something changes–maybe he realized he wasn’t really over his ex. Maybe work became unexpectedly busy, and he realized he doesn’t have the time he thought he would to start dating. Dating is an investment in many areas: emotional, time, and monetary, as well! He may have realized he was not in a place where he could give in all of those areas.
Online Dating Burnout
If I had a dollar for every single person who complained about online dating, I wouldn’t need to work for the rest of my life! People are on online dating platforms for different reasons: validation, searching for hook-ups, something to do when they’re bored, and searching for a soulmate. Whatever the reason, it can be pretty hard to find someone who is on the app for the same reasons you are. Even then, it doesn’t guarantee a meaningful connection.
For many people, online dating can be stressful. Without an in-person connection, it can be emotionally draining to send out messages without responses or to see other profiles and compare yourself. The man you were interested in might just need a brain break from the online dating world—and more power to him. Breaks can be super important!
He’s Resetting His Profile
Depending on how long he has been on the app or the population in his area, he could be resetting his account. Veterans of online dating can attest that after a while of being on a dating app, it’s easy to go through everyone in your area. Maybe he swiped while drunk or in a bad mood and he wants to have a second look at the women he passed on earlier.
He could be completely changing his profile with better photos and more information and wants women who passed on him to give him another chance–this is a great strategy, but doesn’t bode well for you if you two had been talking or seeing each other. The last thing you want is someone you like to make a concentrated effort to see who else is out there.
He Met Someone Worth Deleting For
It could be you! This is why communication is key–if you have been seeing each other for a while and it’s going well, he might delete his profile and bring up the conversation of exclusivity. On the flip side, things might be going well in your mind, but there could be another woman he feels more connected to.
When you see he’s deleted his profile, communicate. This works if you two have established a connection outside of the app. You won’t know why unless you ask, but be prepared for the chance this conversation may not go as you’d hoped. Feel empowered in your dating choices with Commitment Connection–we can help you feel more confident in who you are and create habits that align with your dating goals. Then, you will start making meaningful connections!
