Will You Be Single Forever? Here’s How to Know…

It’s time to talk about the future. Let’s ask the magic 8-ball the dreaded question: am I going to meet The One this year? Am I ever going to meet the one, or am I going to just be single and alone forever?

Unfortunately, some women think of this question with an almost superstitious fear. The “cards” have already decided. They’re destined to be alone. Their future has already been written. They even think all those Simpsons “crazy cat lady” references are talking about them! Love is something everyone else finds. Maybe you just don’t have that special “something” everyone else has.

Well that’s ridiculous! The future hasn’t been written yet. There is no destiny, no conspiracy, to prevent you from being happy. I can guarantee you right now, you’re NOT going to be single forever…unless you want to stay single forever. Your own determination, your attitude, is what will decide whether you have a happy married life or a life of perpetual misery.

And it’s not necessarily a positive vs. negative outlook either. It’s more along the lines of “Is your mind open or closed?” Are you OPEN to meeting the one? Consider these five questions that will determine 100 percent, whether you are going to stay single or get married. I think you’ll find they’re surprisingly simple and say a lot about what’s in your heart.

1. Are you afraid of meeting new people?

Love is not like write it in sitcoms or fairy tale books. The perfect guy doesn’t just pop into your life. A great guy definitely exists and he is an excellent match. But how are you going to meet him if you don’t go anywhere, don’t reach out, and don’t make yourself available?

If you really feel the yearning to be loved and to get married eventually you will stop putting up walls around your heart. You will give new guys the benefit of the doubt. You may not like every one of them (or even most) but being open-minded enough to talk to them will determine if you really are “single and looking” or just single and alone by choice.

2. Are you waiting for a good man or Mr. Perfect?

I’ve often said here that you should write down your ideal man’s qualities and attributes in advance so that you know exactly what you’re looking for. But that’s not the same thing as waiting for Mr. Perfect, is it?

When you have your heart set on a “Perfect Man”, you have a fantasy of who he is and how he crashes into your life, sweeps you off your feet, and just steals your heart Titanic style. The problem is, waiting for a perfect “fantasy” version of a man will never happen. Any woman who thinks that if she holds on a little longer, Leonardo DiCaprio will suddenly appear is going to have a long and lonely wait.

It’s good that you don’t want to “settle on a man”. You would rather aim higher. But if you’re instantly disqualifying every man you meet because he’s not the “fantasy scenario” you had in mind, that’s a dangerous precedent. He shouldn’t have to be perfect. He should have that list of good qualities and attributes.

Beyond that? If you want fantasy fulfillment? Only your favorite authors can give you that experience.

3. Are you disqualifying men because of their character flaws or because they’re just unfamiliar to you?

It’s very important that you DO disqualify men if you notice serious flaws, or negative personality traits, that will make the relationship unbearable. These flaws are rather obvious: a nasty temper, controlling behavior, sexual addiction, drug addiction, verbal abuse, and so on. It’s understandable why you have to create high standards for yourself.

But have you been in the habit of automatically rejecting guys without giving them a chance to show you positive qualities? Do you immediately reject guys for looking different than your usual type, or because he’s not as rich as you hoped for, or maybe he has children from a previous relationship?

Of course, all these variables are decided upon by you. All I’m asking is, do you auto-reject because you’ve never actually listened to this other guy’s story? Do you really understand where he’s coming from? Remember that sometimes chemistry is not activated immediately, but develops over time. Keeping an open mind may introduce you to all new possibilities.

4. Are you obsessed with the past or do you live in the now?

I’ve seen this happen too often, with too many friends and it has to stop! Talking about your ex is a dangerous topic. I mean yeah, at some point your partner wants to know, I get that. But believe me, they want the condensed version. They want to know what you learned from the experience.

Because I promise you, going on and on about your ex to your current date is sending a strong NEGATIVE vibe. Your date is not a therapist and he’s not a blog. He is a man who is evaluating you—and specifically your ability to enjoy THIS relationship and to not dwell on the past.

Work on maintaining a positive and open-minded attitude. Don’t assume he’s going to screw everything up. Don’t focus on negative topics or bring down his energy. Don’t treat the date like a job interview that he’s probably going to fail. A little joy, a little positivity, helps you be in the moment.

5. Do you enjoy the chase as much as he does?

The other problem I’ve observed with some women who seem to have a problem keeping a man is that they fall in love too easily. They don’t really let the man chase them, as much as they just smother him with love and appreciation. Eventually, he will appreciate that attention but too much in the beginning sends the wrong message.

This is why I advise women who want to find a husband to enjoy the chase. Don’t try so hard to “keep him” when in fact, the courtship is what he likes. Flirt with him, talk with him and enjoy your time together but resist him—this makes him try harder to win your approval. And in the end, playing just a little hard to get (but still very attracted to him!) makes him want you all the more.

As you can see, having the right attitude means everything. Be open-minded, be respectful, and give this relationship thing an honest chance. I promise you, if you start to project more positive energy, you will have your pick of eligible bachelors!

40 Flirty Texts That Men Absolutely Love

If you’re struggling to figure out what to say to your man to bring you closer together, I’ve put together a guide of 40 fun and flirty text messages that will spark a stronger and deeper desire in whatever man you use them with.

If you don’t know what to say to your man, use these “cut and paste” text messages from my free guide and watch how much he absolutely loves it!

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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