You know the visual…the prelude to a kiss.
Butterflies in your stomach. Your eyes lock and the attraction is sizzling. Then your eyes start to close for the amazing first kiss…
But just as your eyes start to close, you notice he’s still staring at you. You close your eyes and kiss…and it feels great! But out of curiosity, you open your eyes again. He’s still looking at you while you’re kissing.
It’s not really weird or disturbing, but just a little odd when you see it happen. Our instinct is to close our eyes when the kiss is really good. But he’s intentionally keeping his eyes open. What does it mean and did the kiss mean something to him? Let’s consider a few theories about the “open eye kiss.”
1. He is trying to be romantic/sexy/cool and wants to impress you.
There is something endearing about a man who isn’t afraid to look you in the eyes and connect so closely. Maybe he is planning to alternate between a closed eye kiss and an eye gazing kiss.
Maybe he’s having fun and just wants to try both ways. Maybe he read that eye-gazing is a popular thing, who knows. The point is, he is just trying to be cute and it’s not a huge deal.
2. He is checking to see “how he’s doing.”
Well, it’s not quite as cool when a guy is feeling insecure and checks to see how you like the kiss, especially if you already put the work in learning how to get him to kiss you.
But this scenario happens too. It might be a sign that he’s self-conscious about his technique, his body, breath, or some other personal aspect of himself.
He may be trying to gauge if you’re enjoying it. And frankly, it’s sweet that he’s taking the kiss so seriously!
3. He wants to connect with you on a deeper level.
In this scenario, he’s not just eye-gazing for pleasure but really trying to experience a deeper bond between the two of you.
He may already feel connected to you, but with a gazing kiss, he might be trying to connect with you emotionally, to fully take in the experience. Or in like manner…
4. He may be trying to create a vivid memory.
Whether it’s for him, or for you, or both of you, he thinks that opening his eyes and immersing himself with all his senses will make this a memory for the ages.
That’s a pretty cool sign, since that means he wants to remember this kiss and this moment for the rest of his life. He may be burning the lovely image of you into his mind, taking the time to be there with you in this unique experience.
Or he may be hoping that you see him the same way, as someone devoted to you and who wants this to last beyond just a passionate affair.
5. He is playing you(!)
This is a controversial theory, to say the least. But some women claim that guys who stare at them during a kiss might be players, or narcissists, or just dudes being creepy.
The thought is that he is so “rehearsed” he doesn’t really feel the romance anymore – just the sex. He may even be completely removed from the emotional experience, or even dead inside. He enjoys the kiss, the conquest perhaps, but doesn’t feel love the same way you do.
Well, this sounds feasible but the problem is there is no sure way to know if a guy is a player just by the way he kisses and stares. You have to take more factors into account like how he treats you, how many ex-girlfriends he’s had (and his reputation), and any other disturbing behaviors he might be exhibiting.
If he’s “clean” in every other way, it’s very possible you’re reading too much into his harmless eye gaze. It’s certainly not a dead-giveaway that he’s a psychopath. It just means he doesn’t want to close his eyes at this particular moment, for his own personal reasons.
6. He is paranoid you’re going to steal his wallet…or something else!
Who knows?
Maybe your boyfriend is keeping his eye on you because he doesn’t entirely trust you.
Maybe he’s heard rumors about how well you pickpocket or cut off locks of his hair for witchcraft purposes.
Only kidding…I don’t think any guy is this paranoid! But if he really is that paranoid, uh yeah, you should probably think twice about dating him.
7. He’s not attracted to you and is second-guessing the relationship.
This is a somewhat unlikely but still possible scenario. If the guy feels forced into the relationship and is not all that excited to be kissing you, he might stare emotionlessly, wondering if he’s making a mistake. But once again, it depends on what ELSE he’s doing.
Is he kissing hesitantly?
Is he breaking the embrace before you’re done? Does he seem annoyed or fearful or even offended? These are the behaviors that matter. The eye gaze alone doesn’t mean he’s having second thought. It simply means he wants to look at you, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Does the Open Eyed Kiss Matter?
The point is, don’t fret about the guy enjoying the kiss in his own unique way. Men don’t all kiss the same and sometimes they want to try something different.
What you should pay more attention to is his enthusiasm, his energy level, and his desire to make the kiss good for you. What really matters is that he wants to keep the kiss going, not the strict technique.
So if you determine that his “stare” is harmless, just reward him with another great kiss and close your own eyes. If you enjoy closing your eyes during a kiss, then do what feels right. Maybe he will try it your way next and close his eyes. Maybe he just likes to experiment and discover his favorite way to kiss you.
There’s nothing wrong with trying something new. Encourage his passion and welcome the embrace, once you sense his good vibes coming your way.
How to use a kiss to connect with his heart
Can I tell you a secret that most people don’t know?
And the people who do know, don’t usually think much about it…
Here it is…
Kissing is a language.
And it communicates at a very primal level.
It can tell a man’s mind to reach, hunger, and crave for more of your touch…
Or it can turn him off and dull his passion and excitement for you.
The question is…
What does your kiss say?
Talk soon,
Matthew Coast
P.S. If you want to learn how to capture a man’s heart with your kiss…
