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What a Guy is Thinking When He Kisses You

One of the most interesting questions that never actually gets answered very often is, “What is a guy thinking when he kisses you?”

Women presume that he’s thinking, “Wow I’m kissing her!” or maybe that he’s zoning out completely as the blood rushes from his brain to uh, well, other places.

And of course if a woman asks her boyfriend “What are you thinking while we kiss?” she’s probably going to get a very PC answer along the lines of “How beautiful you are, my dear!”

But let’s get down to it. How about we ask some guys what they actually think about during that first, all-important kiss.

Is it all complimentary? Or do guys occasionally think weird or embarrassing things?

What a Guy is Thinking When He Kisses You

Let’s consider 11 examples of what men think about while kissing the woman of their dreams and in the words of men themselves.

1. “I think, Wow she is so hot. I think how amazing it is to be kissing her, especially if it’s spontaneous.”

Of course, most men have the same initial thought, namely, this is great! If they feel attracted to you and then get a kiss, they are ecstatic. The longer he’s been attracted to you, the more he passion he feels, especially if he’s been thinking of making a move all night.

2. “I wonder if I’m I kissing her the right way? Does she like it? Should I be paying attention to signals during the kiss?”

Panic is a fairly common reaction too, since every man wants the reputation of being a good kisser and yet during an intimate activity where communication is quieted, signals are confusing. One bad review can leave a guy in a funk.

3. “Well, I mostly feel all tingly and think, Wow she is a really good kisser!”

Let’s give credit where it’s due! If you happen to be a good kisser, chances are that’s exactly what he’s thinking. It’s fun to kiss you, you know what you’re doing and you know what you want. That’s sexy and that certainly takes some pressure off him.

4. “I’m like, Gee I hope I don’t have bad breath. Err, I hope she doesn’t either.”

Imperfect kisses happen and bad breath from a pungent dinner can certainly affect the overall kiss rating. Onions and garlic don’t always go well with sweet intimate moments under the stars.

5. “I’m not used to kissing. So sometimes I think, What do I do with my hands? Should I tilt my head or…?”

Kissing feels good but when your senses are elevated because of excitement, it’s not unusual to think about miscellaneous details about where to put your hands, how to angle your face, and even what sounds your lips are making. He thinks the same thing! These self-aware thoughts are natural but the more you focus on the pleasure, the less intrusive they will be. Furthermore, it can boost your confidence to learn the top tips and tricks on how to kiss a guy.

6. “I really try to resist shoving my tongue down her throat. I’m very confused about how to use my tongue. Usually I wait for her to start French-kissing.”

Some men are self-conscious about tongue, especially since we’ve all read an article or two in Cosmo about too much tongue freaking women out. Men are aware of this and so they try to avoid being too wet, too sloppy or going in too deep during a passionate kiss.

7. “What the hell is that noise?”

Hey, sometimes men are easily distracted by background noise and will notice if there’s a loud sound, a strange rumble or even an interesting quote from a nearby television. It doesn’t mean he’s bored of the kiss, he’s just an observant type of guy!

8. “I open my eyes and then this weird awkward thing happens where I wonder if she’s staring at me and I end up staring at her and then she catches me staring.”

Don’t worry about eye contact during the kiss. The natural reaction is to close one’s eyes when two people kiss, but it’s no big deal if you want to keep them open. Just try to avoid staring too long since that might be a little too Tantric for the first date.

9. “To be honest, I’m mostly noticing where her breasts are and thinking, are we going to have sex?”

Well, why don’t you tell us what you really think? But yeah, a lot of guys are actually fast-forwarding and wondering if you’re going to have sex. Because in that case, they need to know whether they should begin to neck, fondle, caress, or take you over to a bed, and so on. It’s not just the level of horny going on…there are some logistics involved in planning your first sex date. To avoid this awkward moment, try to kiss somewhere that’s not too private or secluded, since that raises anticipation in his mind.

10. “In the back of my mind I think, Uh oh…what does this mean?”

Sure, he enjoys it but he’s wondering what this kiss means…because let’s face it, half the excitement of a new romance is what it “means” and how it will change your friendship forever. Does this mean you’re boyfriend and girlfriend? Was this an accident? What will you tell everybody? Those sorts of thoughts are common. Men do enjoy the scandal of a good kiss, especially when it’s a bit of a surprise. So let them freak out a little bit.

11. “Let’s do that again!”

If the first kiss goes well, it’s likely he’s thinking “Boy, I’d sure like to try that again” or something along those lines. So if he’s into it, indicated by positive body language and a smiling face (as opposed to that other look which looks like he just saw a ghost) then lean in slightly and offer to give him another taste.

Men are logical and visual creatures, so while they do feel the pleasure of a good kiss, they also think about the deeper meaning. There is such a thing as performance anxiety when it comes to kissing, so put some thought into your first kiss, the where, when and why of it all. Choosing a good “spontaneous” kiss location might make the experience even more memorable. As a side note, if a guy kisses you before he leaves, learn what that means here.

What does your kiss say to a man?

Can I tell you a secret that most people don’t know?

And the people who do know, don’t usually think much about it…

Here it is…

Kissing is a language.

And it communicates at a very primal level.

It can tell a man’s mind to reach, hunger, and crave for more of your touch…

Or it can turn him off and dull his passion and excitement for you.

The question is…

What does your kiss say?

Click here to learn more

Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

P.S. If you want to learn how to capture a man’s heart with your kiss…

Click here to learn more




11 thoughts on “What a Guy is Thinking When He Kisses You”

  1. Diane Hutter-Stewart

    I will never forget my first kiss with Denny. I didn’t know him, never met him. I was watching a friendly volleyball match. Kibetzing and chastising. He started talking to me – nothing special. I turned to walk away and he kissed me. It was nice but soft. I liked it, so I kissed him back. He kissed me again, softly. I told him I had to get home. He said He would see me tomorrow. And did, everyday after.

  2. My first kiss was amazing.keep thinking about the very first kiss and every time we meet I kiss him first…

  3. My first kiss made me nervous I pulled my head away than kissed him again than pulled away again jumped up and told him I had to go as I was leaving I was tripping over everything and talking so fast because I was so nervous .

  4. I love the spontaneity of a first kiss with a man who you feel an attraction for and know the feeling is mutual. That spark, that dance, that light in his eyes as your lips are just about to meet for the first time. It’s such a rare and wonderful feeling.
    When you find out he’s a delicious kisser? What could be better?
    Yes, the rest follows in due course for high value women and we are there for our man

  5. I had been widowed for three years and didn’t know if I even knew how to kiss anyone other than my husband. That first kiss with my new man swept me off my feet and continues to do so every time he kisses me

    1. Aww, thank you Debbie. You spoke directly to me. I too have been widowed for 3 years and am developing feelings for someone new to my life. I look forward to all our “firsts.”

  6. He kissed me out the blue I was talking to him and it he just leaned in and kissed me he has been my crush for years i completely froze and then left the room like a fool

  7. I met a man on Match and we are still dating casually now. I said we just needed to kiss within the first 7 seconds of meeting each other in person to get it out of the way. We did, it was amazing and kissing him is still one of my favorite things to do.

  8. Our first kiss was amazing then a few months later he told me he actually hates kissing not just me every partner he’s been with I wish he had told me this in the beginning before I developed true feelings for him cause it would have been a deal breaker he also doesn’t like cuddles I’m so confused and lonely

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