Dirty talk! Scary stuff or mindless fun?
If you’ve never tried it before it might be a little intimidating. You might not even think of yourself as dirty-talking kind of woman. Maybe by nature you’re shy, reserved or at least try to engage in civilized conversation.
And what? He expects you to break out the X-rated one-liners like Sarah Silverman?
First of all, don’t think of dirty talking as swearing, like the sailors do. It’s not actually the same thing, even though you may occasionally use some of the same words.
Swearing tends to be for emphasis and shock value. Some people swear so much they don’t even emphasize action words because every other word is “F___!”
So the artfulness of dirty talking is not just coming up with a bunch of mindless vulgarity. What you’re actually doing is learning how to create and build more sexual tension.
You’ve already had some sexual tension building for a while now. Dirty-talking is simply the escalation of these already existing thoughts and feelings. You’ve moved onto the “teasing” stage, enhancing the already strong tension that exists between you two.
Everything you say is with the simple goal to build anticipation for romance and sex later on. Keep that in mind as you start to write your own dialog.
There’s no need to rip off the monologues of porn stars. You don’t want to try to be someone else. You want to be yourself, but you want to tease your boyfriend with the “sexiest version of yourself.”
Make sure your dirty dialog is in your own voice and that you only use the words you’re comfortable using. Remember for every naughty X-rated word you don’t like saying, there can be an R-rated substitute. Let’s analyze seven dirty talking lines and discuss why they work.
1. “If it weren’t for all these people, I would ____ you right here and now.”
Use any word you like here, from F___k to hump, screw, bang or even something more descriptive like “drain your balls.” This line works because it gives him a strong sense of desire and a startling image. You’re horny right now…if only you were alone together. And very soon you will be!
2. “What would you say if you I told you to eat me out right now?”
Dirty talking 101—it’s not necessarily the bad word you use, but the strong image you put into his mind. Being bold and telling him that you desire oral sex will get him excited and you don’t even have to swear unless you want to. What’s sexy here is the idea that you are being so confident and know exactly what you want him to do to you.
3. “I can barely control myself around you. I just want to rip your clothes off.”
Or the reverse, “I want you to rip my clothes off!” works well too. You’re not just giving him a strong image, but also describing an intense feeling that you’re experiencing and now transferring to him. If you want to make it twice as hot for him, describe the act of ripping said clothes off and then add what you find underneath. His underwear, your panties or bra. The visuals here are just as hot as the expletives.
4. “I’m going to make your ____ so hard.”
Another way of dirty-taunting him is to describe the sheer power of his upcoming orgasm. You’re not just going to satisfy him—you’re going to make it agonizing. You can also personalize this sentence, using something light such as “make you orgasm” or “make you come”, or even “cum on me.”
Another variation on this statement might be “You’re so hard for me…” which is describing and suggesting how hard and excited he is for you. Men like it when you describe sexual feelings even more than the swear words. He wants to experience that strong emotion and that butterflies in the stomach feeling. Telling him how he feels is basically how phone sex works. Tell him what’s happening and then build up that sexual tension by describing what he feels and what you feel.
5. “Would you spank me? Grab me by my hair?”
For a little taste of discipline and kink, experiment with “punishing statements” alluding to spanking, or roughhousing in bed. Men usually like the idea of being the dominant lover. So the visual of them slapping your butt cheeks during sex or having rough sex will drive him crazy. You crave that discipline and flatter his ego, letting him feel manly and in charge. You can even describe his penis as a tool of punishment, as in, “Oh I don’t know if I can take that big dick!”
6. “I want to suck your _____.” OR “My ____ needs it so bad.”
When it comes to using names for your genitals, it’s usually best to avoid clinical words like penis, vagina, clitoris and other encyclopedic names. Most men love graphic words like cock, dick, pussy, ass, tits and so on. But it’s just as effective to use more descriptive and metaphoric words at times. “Your manhood,” “your shaft”, “your balls”, “your rod” “your head” and other substitute words could be used. You could also use general words like “breasts”, “butt”, or “nipples” since they’re a little more striking than clinical talk. An even better idea is to change it up and use a four-letter word like cock or dick, and then go back to a PG-13 or R-rated word, just for some variety. Saying the same word over and over again might seem weird after a while.
Oh and be careful about nicknaming his genitals. It’s cute outside of the bedroom but inside the bedroom, it’s a bit goofy!
7. “I want to be your f__k slave.” OR “F__k it like you mean it!”
The best way to swear? It’s actually to avoid repetitive expletives and instead use the worst swear words as verbs or noun. Saying “I want your effing cock” is not as effective as saying “I want you to F me now!”
Even coming up with something super kinky like “Make me your F__k doll” (as a noun) or “F__k me like a slut” (verb + noun) will always be better at getting his blood pumping.
Simply put, use your imagination when you’re ready to start dirty talking. It’s all about tantalizing him and making him crave sex and intimacy later on. Build up that thought using dirty talk like seasoning. A dab of this and that goes a long way.
When you finally do have sex it’s going to be phenomenal! With all this build up he’s going to be mentally and physically turned on and ready to party.
I talk more about sexting and dirty talking expressions in my upcoming guide “Sensual Texting Secrets”, so check it out if you want to hear some of the sauciest stuff women can say to a man that really gets him going!
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