What is happening in the male mind during no contact?
One of the scariest times in any relationship is during the “no contact” period with your boyfriend or man of your dreams. That’s after you break up with someone you love, and despite all the love you still have for him, you decide to break off any and all contact. Under no circumstances do you say a word to the man.
It feels wrong, it feels reckless! During this phase of no contact, you may feel anxiety and may doubt your choice to break off contact, especially when you miss his presence in your life. You’re probably thinking, “But without talking to him, won’t he forget me? Shouldn’t I say something, anything, to get the man to come back to me?”
That may be your instinct, but most statistical and anecdotal evidence says it’s the worst possible thing you can do to get men to come back. When you beg a man to stay, or come back, or try so hard to recreate the doomed relationship, it shows weakness. It only confirms suspicions the male mind has had all along, that this relationship is not healthy. Male psychology sees contact after a breakup as toxic and needy.
And you probably know this about the male mind by now, but still, you’re thinking “Why can’t I stop contacting him, stop clinging to him…even though I know it’s not what he wants?”
Understanding Male Psychology When Following the No Contact Rule
Consider this. Maybe the problem is you’re dying from the anticipation, the dread of not knowing exactly what your ex boyfriend is thinking about you and the breakup. This could be the precise reason why you’re so nervous and afraid to let go. You want to stay in contact and keep the man in your life so that you know what he is thinking. You’re unsure of the “unknown” and that’s the scariest part of moving on after the breakup.
If there was a way to know exactly what he was thinking about the relationship then maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to distance yourself and follow the no contact rule. Well, believe it or not…there is a way to understand men’s psychology. And no, it’s not a fantastic new mind-reading product, or a complex college course on cracking the male psychology.
No, it’s actually quite simple to guess what a man is thinking. Male psychology is pretty straightforward and predictable after a breakup. Men think similar thoughts, and more to the point, have similar thought patterns after a breakup. And in this blog, we’re going to discuss male psychology and your ex’s four most probable thoughts, even during those scary “no contact” breaks when he’s bound to be thinking something!
Reviewing what he’s actually thinking and how male psychology works will help you to calm yourself, pace yourself after the breakup, feel your inner power and confidence, and give yourself permission to let him go and work on finding himself without you.
What’s In The Male Mind During No Contact?
I think you’re going to be pleased once you discover his secret thoughts after a breakup and during the moment of no contact. So let’s review each thought one at a time…
1. “Hmmmm she’s acting really weird.”
Yes! The most basic thought during this no contact time is confusion! He definitely notices there is a big change in the dynamic. Whereas before you were attentive, clingy, and fearful about losing him, now you’ve done a complete turnaround.
So let’s just avoid the heavy psychology here and focus on the simplicity. He’s confused. You’re now a mystery to him. And this is exactly where you want to keep him for as long as possible. Because now, you’ve gotten his attention and now he’s thinking of you more often! This is how you can make the no contact rule work in your favor and make his attraction to you even stronger.
All that said, it should be a comfort for you to know that all he’s really thinking at this stage is why you’ve initiated no contact and what prompted this change. That’s just about it, at least until he reaches the next stage during the no contact rule…
2. “Has she met another guy?”
After thinking your sudden change of heart is weird, now he’s thinking all about who you’re dating and what kind of life you are living now, that prompted this change. Jealousy is a motivator for men. He’s wondering if you’re dating a man better than him, or a man very similar to him. He’s picturing you sleeping with other men and it’s slowly poking at his insecurity.
This is another great stage of no contact for you, because he’s the one sitting around obsessing about you, wanting answers from you, but of course, getting nothing. This is why the NO CONTACT rule works so well. The less you actually say, the more he wants to fill in the blanks and solve the mystery of what happened to you. The male mind after no contact wants to figure out what happened to his girl.
Jealousy can very quickly become regret. Speaking of which…
3. “I miss her.”
Yes, isn’t that just what you wanted to hear? And it’s absolutely true, even if you doubt it. Even if you messed up or the relationship became ugly towards the end. Your man still misses you, and he still thinks about the good times you enjoyed together. The less he sees you, the less he hears from you (and again, no social media or email contact!) the more he begins to miss you.
Your man can’t miss you, while you’re talking to him, waiting on him, and begging for his attention. But when you stop giving him so much TLC, that is when he begins to notice how unhappy he is without you. Following the no-contact rule can work wonders on the male mind and get him to miss the days he spent with you and having you in his life.
In fact, the less amazing his new relationships are, the more he will miss that smooth and romantic dynamic that you had together. And as we’re going to see in our next section, the more time he spends alone (or in an unfulfilling new relationship), the more he’s beginning to realize the love he had with you was real, special, and impossible to replace.
4. “I made a big mistake.”
Here’s one of the reasons I encourage you to “let him go” – because chances are, within a few months he’s going to realize he made a big mistake by pushing you out of his life. There is a temporary rush of adrenaline that comes from ending a relationship and starting a new romance. But it doesn’t last long, especially if your ex never really grows up and sees the real problem.
As you ignore him for days, weeks, and months and enforce the no contact rule, the man will begin to have serious doubts about himself, his attractiveness, and his ability to truly connect with anyone. Male psychology leads men to think that once they’re single again they’re going to be able to land the perfect partner and start a wonderful new direction in life.
But it rarely turns out that way. Men usually find that they’re NOT emotionally connecting with their new partner and that the peace and happiness he once had with you is just not easy to replace. He soon learns that real love and real emotional connection is hard to find, because two people truly have to match each other, experience things together, and be completely free of old baggage.
It’s very unlikely he’s over you and your feminine charm. He may be having more sex but is he experiencing the same bond, the intensity of love? Hardly. And that’s when he realizes that you understood him better than anyone else. With time, he will realize that you are the girl he wants in his life.
Does The No Contact Rule Work? It’s The Rule Male Psychology Can’t Resist
What’s important now is focusing on rebuilding your self-confidence and then working on your NEW ATTITUDE. When the time is right, you will meet him again and blow his mind by unleashing a mysterious, sexy new persona that he will want. Make him work for it and he will fall in love with you twice as hard this time. No contact is the rule male psychology can’t resist. With time and the no-contact rule, male minds will eventually succumb to thoughts of missing you and wanting you back in his life.
How the no contact rule works
The reason the no contact rule psychology works is because men often don’t realize what a great relationship they have until they lose it. When there is no contact, men start to miss you and being your boyfriend. Men realize that life is better with you around. While living with no contact can be challenging, it can be worth it to get your man to miss you and to bring him into your life.
The #1 Mistake Women Make When Trying to Get a Man Back
One final note. If you breakup with a man you love and you want to get back together with him…
There’s one mistake that you absolutely MUST avoid if you want him to take you back and want a REAL relationship together.
It’s something that I call a “Broken Attachment.”
I call it a Broken Attachment because you’re giving him the wrong impression of who you are and what you want in life.
This lowers your value in his eyes and makes it nearly impossible to get him back.
If you want to know more about what a Broken Attachment is…
Talk soon,
Matthew Coast
P.S. Want to know what you should do instead to get him back?
