6 Signs He Wants to Open Up to You But Is Scared

Are you getting weird vibes from a guy? Do you think he might be into you but then he does something confusing or even cold? Why does he seem to be very close and then very distant?

Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between a guy who’s playing you and a guy who’s actually just confused about what he feels. I tend to think that men who are playing you are a bit TOO charming and smooth. Guys that really do like you but then take huge steps backward are usually afraid of rushing commitment. They may even be afraid of feeling something for you, or maybe even of intimacy in general.

One thing that may help you is to see if his hesitance in dating you is motivated by disinterest or fear. Does he want to open up to you but feels there’s an obstacle in his way? Does he want to be honest and even feel closer to you? If he does but feels uncomfortable reaching out, then he’s probably giving you these six signs.

1. He still gives you the “look”.

Men who are in love tend to stare. Not a psycho stare, not a sexy smirk…just a somewhat lost and almost puppy dog-like stare. Your crush may try to avoid being spotted by you but if you’re observant of his mannerisms you will notice him watching you from time to time. You may even feel it. Your senses will tell you there’s an energy in the room and it’s coming from him.

2. He really enjoys hanging out with you and being a GREAT friend.

Even though guys hate to be friend-zoned they still love to “be a friend”, don’t they? This is usually a sign that suggests he really likes you, but doesn’t want to come on too strong—like asking you out or flirting too obviously. Usually when guys don’t like you, they just stop reacting. They have low-key energy and they are polite but NOT friendly.

A guy who is very much into you will make it known that he likes your company. He will not only “tag along” but will be a perfect gentleman. He will compliment you, laugh at all your jokes and listen intently, kind of like a boyfriend. He may even virtually hang out with you via texting, very eager to know how your day is going. In other words, his friendship may seem platonic but it’s actually much clingier than a casual friend.

3. He seems nervous…if not in voice than in conversation topics.

If the guy’s nervous, tongue tied or jumping all over the place in conversation he’s obviously showing his bumbling interest in you. But you should also pay attention to his topics of conversation. Are they disorganized? Are they rambling in parts? Are they overly bragging, almost as if he’s trying to impress you?

Remember his motivation is to convince you he’s cool and collected even though he’s trying his best to not embarrass himself. He’s trying NOT to put you on the spot by making the friendship sexual and thereby, risking rejection. Most guys are afraid of rejection and not afraid of commitment—at least in the beginning. So he craves interaction with you, but isn’t sure if he can be the Prince Charming type guy he assumes you want. That’s the real motivation behind his weird hot/cold behavior.

4. He’s especially uncomfortable putting a label on this “friendship” of yours.

If you really want to make a guy squirm, and look for a sign that suggests “scared but interested” then ask him what THIS is. What is this? What are we? Do you think we’re boyfriend and girlfriend? Is he JUST a friend? Guys get very nervous when you call them on this game and ask them what you two are actually doing. You really don’t do that to friends, do you? Friends know they just hang out and then they go home. There’s no mystery or drama to it. A guy who’s interested in you, but afraid to define what “this” is, will tiptoe around this conversation. It’s a moment of truth!

5. His buddies or your BFFs will give you the hint first.

Our friends are always more perceptive than we are. Sometimes we’re just too close to the situation. We see things from our perspective, in a way that makes sense to us. We may be completely surprised to hear another person, an objective mind, analyze the situation. This is why his friends or your friends (even a family member) may notice something odd about the guy when he’s around you. If they haven’t already said something, ask around and feel them out. Mention the guy’s name and see if they make a face or say something snide. They’re probably thinking, “Oh yeah he likes you!”

6. He finally tells you…in his own way.

Now the guy has one of two options. He can confess to you how he really feels and make a bold romantic gesture… (Hmmm…maybe!)

Or he can muster up the courage to say SOMETHING, sort of along the lines of romantic and bold, but not quite there. (Yeah that sounds about right!)

If a guy is scared the first thing he do will make a half-hearted admission of love and lust. Something along the lines of “I think you’re…” or “I wish you and I…” These are not necessarily strong and clear signals, but they usually DO indicate that he’s trying to hint around at something. He’s actually hoping you meet him halfway (or more than halfway) and encourage him to finish his thought. He’s hoping you encourage him, even push him, to get it out.

He’s afraid of rejection and so he’s waiting for that signal. He’s also afraid of losing you, or you dating someone else instead of him, and so he’s determined to say something…even if it’s not very dramatic at first.

The main reason a guy flip-flops on what he wants is because he’s resisting while he’s chasing. He’s battling with himself and his bottled up feelings. Who knows, maybe something in his past has changed his views on love or relationships.

If you sense that he likes you but that he’s hot one minute and cold the next, it’s very likely he’s trying to work up the courage to do something. Be patient and ease him along, still letting him take the lead, but giving a little more encouragement so that he’ll swallow his pride and tell the truth!

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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