“I’m ignoring you! I’m ignoring you! I’m ignoring you!”
(Is it working yet?) “I’m ignoring you!”
Isn’t that what it feels like sometimes?
We’ve all talked about the importance of the No Contact rule. But how DO you know if it’s working?
How do you know if it’s backfiring, for that matter? Deep down, maybe you’re thinking to yourself, “Maybe I should say something…just to let him know my heart is still open to him coming back!”
Sometimes the most difficult part of the no contact rule is not knowing how to reconnect with him later on. If you’re ignoring him, how are you supposed to get back together? If you stop talking to him altogether, won’t he take that as a hint that you’re done with him?
It’s important to understand the psychology of the male mind during no contact and understand what it means beyond just Step 1, Step 2, and Step 3.
First, it’s important to remember that No Contact is all about YOU, not him. You’re the one who must break the addiction to this hot/cold relationship. You’re the one who needs to tell him, this relationship as is, can not continue anymore.
You’re also, in a way, putting the past and the “old you” behind, forever. This means finding yourself. It means making the changes in your life you’ve always wanted to make. It means no longer being motivated by fear or uncertainty.
This is your new life and your new rules. You need a new relationship. Even if you still love your ex, you have to show him that the old relationship is gone. The old rules and routines are out. You’ve changed…and he will have to change too, if this relationship is truly what he wants.
That said, it’s time to talk about “signs” that the No Contact rule is working. You will know the effect is working if you notice any of the following:
1. He tries to get a hold of you, especially months later.
He is obsessing over you. Now, instead of you seeking his attention, he is seeking yours. He might text you repeatedly, or call, or just comment on your social media page. He can’t help but show his true feelings for you. He wants your reaction, he wants to be in your life. He may have even asked others about you – proving you’re definitely on his mind! If you would like to learn more, read this on how to tell if he misses you during no contact.
2. Other people start asking you out or flirting, chatting, etc.
The fact of the matter is that when you are feeling confident, attractive, and successful, you project that energy outward. That’s why people notice you. That’s why people flirt, ask you out, want to chat more, and so on.
So you can bet that if others are finding you more attractive lately, and your social value has increased, your ex is also noticing. Your ex, after all, already fell under your spell once, didn’t he? He’s already admitted a strong attraction, and maybe even love for you. If you’re doing well in life, and other people are noticing these changes, just know that your ex has seen the same thing.
3. Your ex sends you gifts or expresses his feelings.
If he sends you gifts – whether expensive gifts or even virtual gifts – then that’s a good sign that he’s developing feelings for you again. Men communicate “love messages” or gifts when they want to impress you and earn your attention. Sometimes a guy thinks, “If I send her a gift she’ll keep me in her mind.” And so, they are always giving you something…even if it’s just a thought, a link/meme, or an interesting conversation. Your ex now mirrors the time, energy, and enthusiasm that you give.
4. He doesn’t hate you. Instead, he reminisces about the past.
The worst thing an ex can do is be indifferent towards you. The second worst thing, of course, is to feel hatred or anger. But one that stage passes, very often an ex will soften his heart. He starts to feel regret about the past. He thinks about the good times. He makes excuses for you. Maybe he even admits to making mistakes.
5. He seems either delusionally happy or in perpetual rebound.
His new relationships are all clearly rebound attempts and they always end badly. He’s fooling himself thinking he can jump into an intimate relationship again without doing any self-work. The next step is to become depressed, realizing he lost the best thing he ever had.
In conclusion, the point of the No Contact rule is what’s going on in your head, not his. When you’re ready for a better personality makeover, one where you can be your true confident and successful self, then you’re ready to deal with your ex, or with any guy you like.
When you do reach out (or respond) to your ex you will soon notice that he answers very quickly. Gone are the days when he’d take hours or days to respond. Now he’s paying attention. He messages you within minutes, sometimes even seconds. He values your interaction now and wants to keep you in constant dialog. When he senses the change, that you’re successful and on top of the world, your value increases. Now he feels the need to impress you.
He fears displeasing you. Your value has skyrocketed – and you know that when he starts to develop a healthy fear of displeasing you. He second-guesses saying hurtful things. He’s on his best behavior. Maybe he even feels regret over the way he used to treat you. His new attraction to you has reminded him that he had a good relationship before, but took it for granted.
His new fear of rejection indicates that he’s afraid of losing you – your attention, your favor, your trust. He wants back what he has lost.
The point has always been to regroup, heal, and correct negative and unhealthy viewpoints that are damaging your relationships with men. Once that guy sees you, and understands that this is a NEW YOU, one he has never met before, he will have a new interest in getting to know you.
That’s when you set the new rules for the relationship. This time, things are going to be different because you decided it!
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5-word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
Click this link to watch my video right now <<
