There is an art to introducing yourself to a stranger on an online platform. Sure, you might not know how to answer the dating profile questions when you’re first getting started, but you can work on this at your own pace. You can even look at some short dating profile examples for inspiration. Eventually, things fall into place and it’s time for matching and chatting.
Say you run across a really interesting profile that you have a good feeling about. You can’t help yourself–you just have to reach out, but you don’t know what to say. Before you panic and start wondering if you should delete your online dating profile because it’s all too much, take a moment and pause. It’s easier than you think.
Best Opening Messages
By making the first move and putting some thought into your message, you’re already ahead of those who chose to say nothing–the rest is easy.
Be Personal
As women, it’s hard not to roll our eyes at the obvious copy-and-paste openers men send us on apps. “Hey beautiful,” and “I love your eyes!” are a dime a dozen. But just because you receive unoriginal messages doesn’t mean you have to send them.
Look at his profile. Is he wearing a sports jersey in any photos? Does he have photos of his pets? What are his interests? Tailoring your first message to something in his profile will demonstrate that you really see him and are genuinely interested. This approach will also start the conversation in his comfort zone, as it will relate to a topic he already knows.
Perhaps you can start with a message such as: “Hey, is that a Spurs jersey? I love watching games at the sports bar downtown!” or: “I saw you’re a fan of fantasy. I just started watching the new Game of Thrones spin-off. Have you seen it?”
Ask Lots of Questions
Opening with a question is a guaranteed way to start a conversation. Once you’ve looked at his profile, think of a question that could start a fun or interesting conversation.
Starting off with deep, personal questions such as, “what are you looking for in a relationship?” might kill the conversation, even if you’re on the same page. Remember: it’s easier to start light and get deep than the other way around.
Here are a few question ideas to think about: “I see you love to travel. Last year, I went to Thailand. Where is your favorite place you’ve visited?” or: “Your cats are adorable! I’ve always been a dog person. Is there anything I should know about cats that make them special?”
In Summary
When sending the first message, it’s always important to be authentic. Give him the opening line you would hope a man would send to you. It doesn’t need to be overly flirty or suggestive—after all, you want to be taken seriously. Flirting too heavily at the early stages can leave an impression you’re interested in a hook-up rather than a long-term connection.
To discover new ways to introduce yourself that align with your dating goals, check out Commitment Connection. We have resources designed to empower women and help them feel confident in their dating lives. With the help of our experts, you’ll say goodbye to your doubts and hello to love!
