When we use the *asterisk* you know we’re talking real truth – off the record and avoiding all the common and politically correct answers.
We all know what SHOULD matter to men, we can guess. We’ve heard all the clichés about how men are basically teddy bears. Or maybe how all men are pigs and want only one thing and it’s “disgusting!”. We’ve heard all the jokes and heard all the anecdotes about what makes a happy marriage.
And so we come to this – what really matters to men?
To answer that we really have to break down that loaded statement into four smaller conversations.
1. What do men want most of all, statistically speaking?
2. What does the guy you like want from you?
3. What does a man want over time, in a forever type relationship?
4. What is a man missing in his life?
1. Men Want What Other Men Want!
Men are naturally competitive and so it’s no surprise that statistically speaking, men want what other men want. Men want the American dream, so to speak. While you might think that these are entirely biological needs (and they are to an extent), the base level “want” is not all that makes up a man.
Biologically men want:
• Food
• Sex
• Home
• Family
• Comfort
• Positive emotions
• Meaning in Life
But social needs also dictate what men really want. For example, a National Study of Men revealed that almost 75 percent of men would rather be alone and unloved than feel disrespected or inadequate in their relationship.
Statistically men, also think a great deal about providing for their families and have an inherent need to think (and possibly over-think) before they speak or air out their emotions. This validates the old stereotype that many men are not emotionally healthy or open. They keep a lot inside.
That’s not to vilify men – rather, to emphasize the point that a man trusting his partner and feeling respected by her is an essential need, every bit as important as sex, food, and finding meaning in life.
Don’t Think About Men – Think About HIM
Another common error is to assume that your man wants what every other man wants. Your partner’s wants might align with the statistical average, but only as regards specifics. Assuming that he must want EVERYTHING the average man wants could be a mistake. Assuming that he feels and thinks like every other man out there is an even bigger mistake.
Not only is it statistically unlikely, since every man is shaped by his own unique experiences, but it’s also an incommunicative idea. Talking your partner and getting specifics answers on what he wants and needs is imperative. Assuming that as long as you do this and that (which is what most men want) your man will be happy could be the beginning of the end for an otherwise productive relationship.
Your man doesn’t expect perfection. But he wants to be heard, even if you sometimes have to draw his stoic feelings out. Negotiating compromise and trying to please each other individually and on a case-by-case basis is the best way to live.
A Forever Marriage is About Teamwork
When it comes to marriage and commitment, and indeed the kind of love that lasts forever, the relationship has to be about more than just biological or social needs. It’s not just about meeting each other’s needs or wants either.
It’s about having unity in purpose and the genuine desire to help each other succeed. This team spirit is essential in keeping couples together, despite hardships, and also growing in love over time.
You must have values that are closely aligned to start with. From there, you support each other, believe in each other, and always crusade to help your partner reach his goals. In turn he does the same for you. What was once a singular ambition is now a dual-managed project. That’s the kind of forever spirit that lasts beyond lust and even beyond just tentative love.
Deep down, all men want this. All men want to have a partner that believes in him and that supports him. Men feel not only disrespected, but devalued when they’re linked with a woman who isn’t a champion of his ambitions. He may start to feel alone and unloved – at least unloved in the way he wants love. His ambitions are an important part of his masculinity and his happiness.
When a man loses his ambitions, it represents the descent of everything, including his desire to stay in the relationship.
Find Out What He Is Missing
Finally, the best way to determine what a man really needs is to find out what specifically he’s missing in life. That’s not just a good and nice way to look at things…
It’s actually smart on a woman’s part, at least if she values the relationship.
I know it might be trendy to say, “Well you know, the man’s responsibility is to serve the woman and make sure she’s completely satisfied. And if he has a complaint he should come forward to her.”
That might be empowered thinking, but is that really practical? At least in the sense that it maintains and preserves a strong marriage?
No, a wife will begin to notice right away when a husband feels unsatisfied. She will be attune to what he feels and what he does on a daily basis. She will sense the change if she’s paying close attention.
She may confront him and push him for details if he doesn’t seem to want to discuss it.
But, if she’s determined to GENTLY and respectfully draw his feelings out, she will usually succeed.
Now that she knows what her man feels is missing she knows what to give him, what to show him, to fulfill his needs.
The opposite situation is to simply ignore the man’s dissatisfaction and assume he’ll get over it. But that approach only pushes him away, perhaps into the arms of another woman who will quickly understand what’s missing in his life.
And it’s not always about sex. Usually, cheating in relationships starts because of a lack of emotional intimacy and communications. So many relationships end because we can’t talk to each other. Isn’t that sad?
So the next time you think about what a man really needs, ask yourself if you’re listening to him or just assuming too much about the statistical average. I suspect he will be very grateful if he feels heard. Respected.
He will start to confide in you once again and that’s what matters the most.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
