How to Ask if a Guy Is Still Interested.

How to Ask if a Guy Is Still Interested

Many relationships reach a stage where things are comfortable but seem to have plateaued, and you’re not entirely convinced they’re still 100% invested. This situation may also crop up whether you’re flirting and trying to establish a connection, have a friendship that is turning into something romantic, or are in the early stages of dating.

Unfortunately, working out how to ask your boyfriend how he feels about you isn’t always easy, and neither is it straightforward to pluck up the confidence to challenge a guy to be honest with his feelings if the answer might not be what you’d like to hear.

Today, I’ll run through some tips and advice to help you talk openly with a guy about whether he is still interested.

The Risk of Jumping to Conclusions

Here are a few scenarios that might make you question if your feelings are reciprocated–especially if you want to know how to ask a guy if he likes you without asking directly:

  • Your date cancels date night at the last minute, or twice in a row
  • Communications seem stilted or one-sided
  • He suddenly needs to work late every weekend

In many cases, there are genuine reasons for these circumstances, and there isn’t any need to be confrontational or convince yourself that he’s no longer into you, has met someone else, or that he never felt strongly about you.

However, you should also pay attention to your instincts and be prepared for an adult conversation. Playing guessing games and pretending all is well when you are concerned that a guy isn’t interested anymore is never a good option.

How to Find Out if You Are on the Same Page

The first step is to think about what triggers have made you question this guy’s interest in you–is it something tangible, like skipping a date, or a lower-level feeling you can’t quite pin down?

Body language and unspoken cues give us a reasonable idea about whether a serious conversation is necessary. For example, is your date or partner still affectionate, attentive, and excited to talk? Does he hold your hand, kiss you, or put his arm around you in public, or is he always walking a step or two in front of you? These behaviors can show whether he’s still very much into you but has a growing workload, for example, or that he might be withdrawing slightly but hasn’t been clear about his feelings.

Next, we’ll look at how to prompt a discussion without putting yourself in a difficult position if he is still interested in taking your relationship to the next level.

1. “How Are You Feeling?”

An open-ended question is a great way to get a guy to open up if he’s likely to feel put on the spot by something more direct. 

Some guys find talking about themselves difficult, but you can use this as a starting point. If he says he’s fine but overwhelmed with an increasingly busy schedule, this allows you to give feedback that you’ve missed him or been worried he is moving on without you.

2. “Do You Think We Have a Strong Connection?”

You don’t necessarily need to tell a guy he seems distracted, but you can ask his perspective of your relationship and perhaps get a better insight into why he has been acting differently toward you.

Demanding to know where he has been or why he has changed his schedule will increase underlying tension, so this approach is gentler and creates a space for discussion.

3. “Is Our Relationship In a Rut?”

If you say you are concerned that your relationship is in a rut, he can provide his thoughts and help you both move forward, whether that’s together or not. Remember, many guys are less emotionally intuitive than women, and he might have no idea you feel insecure!

Use these questions as conversation starters, and you’ll be able to get to the bottom of things and put your mind at ease by either building on your relationship, addressing anything that seems to be missing, or deciding whether or not this particular guy is The One.

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