How to Ask a Guy Out Over Text

Picture this: you met a guy and hit it off. You exchange digits, but a day or two passes, and it’s still radio silence. It’s easy to assume that he lost interest in you, and settle with cutting your losses–but with that attitude, you may be missing out on a potentially great relationship. He may have gotten busy or had simply forgotten that he had your number in the first place. You don’t always have to be the one waiting for something to happen, torturing yourself with questions like “should I ask out my crush?” You can ask him out, too! 

Asking a guy out over text is simple, but there are some unspoken rules that you should follow to guarantee positive feedback, including breaking the ice, being flirty, and asking him out on a date. In this post, we’ll dive into everything you need to know about how to ask a guy out over text.

A Step-By-Step Guide to Asking a Guy Out Over Text

When you ask a guy out over text, you’re at a disadvantage of having minimal context. This is why it’s important to set up a scene, allude to the romantic encounter, then go for the ask. Here’s a play-by-play of how that should go:

Break the Ice

The first thing you want to do when asking a guy out via text is to break the ice. Re-introduce yourself by mentioning your name and the event that put you on each other’s radar. You can even insert some inside jokes or excerpts from your initial interaction.

Match His Interest

Now, you’re probably in the middle of a budding conversation. Through the exchanges, you’ll likely be able to gauge how interested he is. If he’s enthusiastic about talking to you, it’s a good sign that you can ask him out. Otherwise, you might have to put in a little bit more effort to entice him.

Be a Little Flirty

Remember that the ultimate goal here is to get a date, and that requires you to pull yourself out of any possible friend zones. Don’t be afraid to be a little flirtatious, but be careful not to come on too strong. This is not the time to practice how to talk dirty to a guy over the phone (yet)!

Ask Him Out Directly

Once you’re sure you’re on the right track, ask him out. Be clear about your intentions and be direct in your question. Make it obvious that you’re asking him out by inviting him to do something specific. Recall what you have in common and put this to your advantage—get him to go to something that you know he’ll like and that you’ll bond over.

Give Yourself an Out

In the case that he might have one foot out the door, be prepared with an out for yourself. Have alternative plans that you’re ready to mention just in case he says no that way you can save face and it won’t seem like you were desperate to get him to go out with you.

​​Tips for Asking a Guy Out Over Text

Here are some tips for asking a guy out over text that can help you get a positive response:

Be a Bit Mysterious

Don’t give yourself off too much or else the guy won’t have anything left to be interested in. Always keep him wanting more.

Give Him Time to Reply

Don’t bombard him with texts, especially if he’s not replying to you quickly. This will only make you come off as needy or desperate, and will probably turn him off!

Don’t Force What’s Not Happening

Try to figure out his level of interest in you. If you feel like he’s not ready to go on a date, don’t force it. If it’s not happening, it won’t, and it may be better for you to set your sights on someone more willing to give you a shot.

Dating Advice From Commitment Connection

Asking a guy out is just the start of the rollercoaster that is relationships. If you want to navigate this complicated world like a pro, get expert tips from Commitment Connection!

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