I’m sure we’ve all heard by now that men are complicated, or sneaky, or just impossible to figure out. A lot of people believe this, and some of these complaints come from males and females, believe it or not.
But I’ve never subscribed to that philosophy. I think some people (of all genders) are “complicated” and duplicitous, sure. But I do not think all men are programmed or biologically inclined to be complicated or unfaithful, or anything else like that.
I think it’s just become increasingly difficult to communicate honestly with each other.
I also feel that a lack of education is what’s causing more conflict between men and women. We are not speaking each other’s language. We understand the vocabulary, but the emotions, the thoughts, the desires, and personal needs – that’s what we’re not getting across.
And when we misunderstand each other, we tend to dislike each other. We blame that other person for ruining the relationship.
It’s sad, however, to know that much of this conflict can be avoided. For one thing, it’s important to understand the basic psychology of men.
Understanding their attractions, their attitudes and feelings towards romance, and even the “stages” of how they fall in love, is what can help you stay practical in your relationships.
Understanding how men think and feel is the first step towards creating a healthy relationship of equals and not becoming the clingy girlfriend or the “friend with benefits” that he doesn’t value.
In this discussion, we’re going to talk about the five stages of love that men go through, and maybe deduce some points that will help grow a relationship based on real love.
1. Physical Attraction
It all starts with physical attraction. Beauty, aesthetics, maybe even an attractive personality. There are various theories as to why we are attracted to certain kinds of people. Maybe it’s genetics, or the desire to build “healthier” families, or even chasing after a familiar family dynamic. But at the end of the day, we are attracted because it’s an involuntary physical reaction. And we always want to pursue that.
2. Crushing
The next phase is what you might call the crushing stage, or the infatuation stage. Infatuation doesn’t actually mean physical attraction. Infatuation goes deeper. It’s when a man intensifies what he feels and begins courting her – trying to win her affections.
When a man is infatuated he may go about winning his date over by doing something traditional or even out of the box – just to surprise her. He’s partly in love with “being in love.” Yeah probably. But it’s still one of the most romantic phases.
3. Mutual Attraction
When the attraction becomes mutual and you start to desire each other equally, you really fall into this next stage of oxytocin-fueled euphoria. This stage is intense and the attraction only escalates when you approach intimacy, and even after you make love for the first time. This intensity is so hot and off the charts, sometimes it’s inevitable that things are going to crash.
4. Obsession
The obsession stage is usually right at that point before things get unstable. It might be the prelude to breaking up, or you might survive the test entirely. But this stage is characterized by a more obsessive and controlling nature. Sometimes guys become domineering. Sometimes women become controlling.
If the obsession grows out of control, it can mean the end of the relationship. But if you can manage your emotions together, and give each other some independence, you should smoothly ride on the next stage.
5. Discovery
After the obsession stage is over, and sexual tension decreases after so many months or years of honeymooning, the discovery phase sets in. This period is marked by more existential feelings. It’s no coincidence that many guys become confused after they get all the sex they want, and are now confronted with the question: “What do I really want from this relationship?”
A lot of men really don’t know what they want because they put forth so much effort just to get to the first four stages. If the relationship is not built on something true, on something real, then it will fall apart.
This is why it’s important to get to know each other, well before sex happens. In fact, you kind of lengthen out the intense sexual tension, and resist letting it define the relationship. You want him to get to know you before sex, so that he can decide upfront if this is really what he wants. If he enters the relationship with both physical attraction AND true compatibility, the relationship is built on much stronger ground.
6. Realization
The realization stage is also tough for a man, because this is the point where he realizes he cannot live without her, and yet, some sacrifices will have to be made to commit to her. Things are getting serious. He realizes you’re much more than a friend, and responsibilities also increase.
If he has love for you, he will have no problem stepping up to that position of permanent boyfriend. But if he cannot change his life to accommodate the new relationship, this is a moment of truth that may discourage him from commitment.
7. Commitment, Love and Marriage
Finally, the stage of commitment. He wants it first because he realizes you have true value in his life and he cannot imagine life without you. He wants to invest in you and make your exclusive relationship public. He doesn’t want to share you, and he doesn’t want to take you for granted. He loves you because he sees your value and he sees a future in you. Commitment doesn’t scare him – it completes him and starts his new life with you. He’s happy that he’s come this far and found the love of his life!
In conclusion, remember that if you want a man to stay committed to you, then romance must be his idea. If you pressure him into following YOUR STAGES, your formula, he backs away.
But if you let him move at his pace, and help him see how rare and exclusive you are to him, that will make him want to commit. And then he will do it on your terms. That’s the priceless attraction you want, and that’s the kind of respect and honesty that makes a marriage last.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5-word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
