One of the most difficult things you will ever do is figure out how to live without your ex. I know you know what I mean.
Whether you’re breaking up for good, OR just hoping that he comes back to you at some point, you’re still learning the same lesson. How to live without him and how to carry on for hours, days or even months without needing him.
You don’t enjoy it, of course not. But you have to learn how to do it and for two very important reasons.
Because (1) you must survive this ordeal. You must learn how to survive without him, because you want to be a strong, independent and self-confident woman. Even if you doubt that you can be those things, that’s still what you want. It’s your life goal and it’s one worth reaching for.
Also, (2) because when you leave him alone and enter into the NO CONTACT phase (no contact at all, whatsoever not even online) then you are giving him what he needs.
You’re giving him the freedom he wants and the independence he deserves. So when you start cooperating with him and stop resisting his effort to walk away and be alone, you’re actually improving the relationship.
You’re also giving him the gift of missing you. Because although you don’t sense it right now, I assure you within a few weeks or months he IS going to start to miss you. And he is going to want you back. (Yes I’m sure there are special exceptions to this premise but I do feel that most relationships can be saved)
So what I’d like to do is discuss what the male mind is thinking during this no contact rule. He’s definitely thinking something because he has noticed you went from being clingy and seeking his attention to a complete 180 – and are now unconcerned, unresponsive and just vanishing from his life.
Here are the five things your ex is thinking during that no contact period.
1. “I see what she’s doing…and I will win this game.”
Right off the bat, because men are competitive by nature, he thinks you’re playing a game of ignoring him. And he’s fairly sure that he’s going to win. He figures that if you want to talk to him, you’ll come back to him. Right now he only has negative associations of your past relationship and he wants to prove his point(s). He’s going to make you wait.
Good. Wait it out. No Contact is about getting his attention by doing the exact opposite of what hasn’t worked so far and utilizing the male mind after no contact. And that is, ignoring him. Not being involved in his life. Breaking the “addiction” to him so that you can work on yourself.
2. “Wait something is wrong… she really doesn’t care anymore!”
And yes, you guessed it. At some point, it will dawn on him that he lost you and he lost the relationship that he once valued so much. He’s not necessarily feeling love or regret yet but he’s feeling very insecure about your lack of interest in his life. He no longer has your attention.
He’s so provoked that now he wants to confront you, or ask all his friends, or even ask a random stranger why you don’t care anymore.
Simple lesson: This is how many men are wired to communicate. If you want to get their attention, and talking to them doesn’t work, then the only other option is to cease all communication. That breaks them out of the “routine” and gets their attention. This is something new.
And yes, this is something bad. His ex doesn’t seem to care anymore and he’s panicking. About now is when he realizes his life is changing and the relationship will never be the same again.
3. “Fine then, I’ll just find someone else.”
And guys seem to think this is their secret weapon. They think that you’ll become so jealous at the idea of them finding happiness with someone else, that you’ll come crawling back. Or, maybe they’ll just think something like, “At last, I can find a woman that’s better for me!”
Well here’s what he’s actually going to learn as he searches for his next soul mate. Love doesn’t come easy. Sex comes fairly easy. But a true emotional connection is harder to find and that’s what you two had.
He will look for a new and better relationship but will be unable to replace you. At first the little differences will bother him. Then he will slowly realize that the new girl lacks all the unique things that he loved about you. He may lie to himself for a while but eventually he’s going to feel it right in the gut…
4. “I’m never going to get her back.”
After a while of noticing that he’s unhappy (always unimpressed with other girls he’s dating) and that YOU are actually happier than you’ve ever been, he’s going to realize that he made a big mistake.
Not only was he happier when he was with you, but now he sees that you’re “new and improved” and have become an even better version of yourself.
If only he had waited and worked things out…but now it’s too late!
Now the regret sinks in. Now he wishes he could get you back. You’re out of his league! He knows an apology is not enough.
5. “Maybe I can win her back… but this time I got to try harder.”
And that’s just the way it should be. Once he feels true regret, he will probably reach out to you. He might try to win you back OR he might try to appeal to your emotions, discussing how happy the both of you used to be.
You could crush all his hopes and dreams right now with just a word. But imagine his surprise when you give him some hope. You tell him that you still remember and that you still care for him. You will always care for him.
Now positive associations have returned. He knows you’re worth fighting for and he’s back to putting real effort into making the (new) relationship work.
So is he missing you? Yes, definitely. Be strategic in your approach and embrace the no contact rule – it’s just what you need to live without him…and in the end, just what you need to win him back!
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
