The Difference Between a Player and Forever Man

Whoever came up with the saying, “This feels too good to be true” probably dated one too many players!

What does that word mean, anyway? A player? We’ve all heard it and we sort of get what it means, but it’s still kind of hard to define. Especially someone innocent, someone who’s inexperienced.

Try to think back to when you first started dating. You probably didn’t understand what the big deal was about “those kind of guys”, players, and how they break your heart.

After all, players are not necessarily liars or sneaks or scam artists. Some of them might even be good guys, you know, movie star types that are good looking, successful, and have a lot of girlfriends.

But at the end of the day, most women have serious reservations about players because they play in dating – they’re not after anything serious.

Some admit this. Some will admit they just like women, enjoy sex, and are searching for happiness. Some might be sneaky about it and pretend that they’re falling in love – trying to manipulate you into rushing the relationship.

But the end result is the same. They just want lots of women and have no intention of settling down, at least not until they’re ready to do so.

That’s a big problem for you, if you’re looking a serious relationship – and all the more so if you just got out of a long-term relationship that didn’t work. Players to tend to go after women that are rebounding, or have low self-esteem, or are confused about their lives. Big surprise why, it’s much easier to get laid that way.

But here’s the thing. You can ALWAYS tell the difference between a player (even if he’s a great actor) and a serious man, a “forever man” who might be the love of your life.”

I’m going to show you the signs and what to look for, before you give him the intimacy he doesn’t deserve. In fact, here are seven differences between a player and a forever man that become apparent as soon as you meet him.

1. A forever man can wait. But a player always rushes things.
A forever man has no problem waiting because he doesn’t commit to a relationship he hasn’t built yet. Trust takes time and learning takes time. A player wants sex as soon as possible and will rush intimacy whenever the chance arises.

2. A forever man is more interested in getting to know you. A player just struts his stuff, hoping to impress you.

With a forever kind of guy, he wants to get to know you. Conversations are long and drawn out. He enjoys learning who you are. A player will listen and may hold onto tidbits of information you share. But his primary motivation is to do something dramatic to impress you, accelerating passion.

3. A forever man is more interested in sharing aspects about himself, slowly creating an emotional bond. His best offense is the mind games he plays.

A player really doesn’t want to share, bond, or give any honest emotion. His backstory is usually sad and typically involves some violation of trust. But instead of dealing with those issues, he hides his emotions behind a veneer of charm and wit. It’s very difficult to break through to his true self. Some players eventually settle down but it may take years.

A forever man has reached a point of maturity, where he doesn’t need empty sex, but wants genuine emotional connection. That he shares his emotions honestly is a sign of trust.

4. A forever man opens his heart about everything. A player always protects his secrets.

A forever man may not trust you right away but as the friendship continues, he starts to build a lasting bond. You’re friends first. You trust each other before moving on. When the time is right, he starts to tell you his secrets.

A player protects his secrets because they’re too close to his heart. If he starts sharing secrets then he has to be real – honest. Unguarded. That’s what scares him. He is not at a stage where he can trust anybody.

That’s the surest way to test a player’s true intentions too. Find out his secrets. He will either lie or quickly lose interest in the conversation.

5. A forever man makes you feel confident, safe and valued. A player feels in control if his girlfriends are in a state of perpetual confusion.

A player’s target girlfriend is someone who enjoys mind games and enjoys feeling confused. That confusion and attraction

6. A player will almost always overstep boundaries to see how far he can push you. A forever man always shows you respect.

Players do tend to overstep boundaries and push you to see your reaction. While there usually is a testing process in dating, when a player does it, they always border on disrespectful. You can always be flirty and fun without resorting to insults, put-downs, or mind games that make you feel cheap or degraded.

A forever man never goes beyond the boundaries of good taste. He doesn’t need to do that just to get a laugh. He has self-respect and respect for other people. Players usually don’t respect women. They have mom issues, ex-girlfriend issues, and it shows right away.

7. A forever man finds only you interesting. A player is always interested in other women.

Finally, remember the basic motivation. A forever man is only interested in meeting someone emotionally and mentally compatible. When he finds that one, he’s interested in that one. He puts his whole effort into thinking of you, learning you, and interacting with you.

A player isn’t satisfied with just you. He wants to date other women, and will do so, whether he admits outright (polyamorous guy, they might call themselves) and lies about it. Players also tend to brag about their success with women, figuring you like the false confidence.

Popular guys must be attractive to women, right?

Unfortunately, that’s usually a red flag. A man who wants to be popular with women, and yet suspiciously can’t seem to find the “right one”is showing you who he is and what he wants.

In conclusion, just remember this. You treat a player like a player, not like a serious date.

He’s not worth anything more than a one night stand, if he’s even worth that. You don’t fall for him, because he doesn’t really “exist”, at least not the character he’s playing or the fake side he’s showing you.

However, you treat a forever man like a real man. Be honest. Be real. Be respectful. Speak your mind and don’t be afraid to open your heart. Give the relationship a serious chance. You might be surprised at what you find…a man that you truly love and who matches you completely!