One of the worst conversations you can ever have is hearing from a guy in person that he’s not interested in you, you’re not his type, and that it’s best if you stay “friends” or something. (But probably not friends)
Actually, most people avoid those awkward conversations in person. Now that everyone texts and emails, it’s better to just figure out if a guy is friend-zoning you via text, NOT have the big talk in person.
No, we don’t mean asking him via text if you’re into him – that’s a sure way to chase him off!
The shrewd way to do it is to look for the signs that show he’s not thinking about you, not flirting with you, and is probably just being polite.
Some of these signs are subtle, but you might be surprised at how telling they are.
1. He talks about fixing you up with someone else.
Believe me, he is not trying to make you jealous. If anything, it’s a really bad sign that he senses you’re into him, but he does NOT reciprocate. He is trying to turn you down in a polite way that won’t embarrass you. Follow his cue and stop pursuing immediately.
2. He never uses your name – or uses platonic nicknames.
Using a person’s name strengthens the bond between two people. A pet name is also a sign of intimacy. But using platonic names like bud, buddy, bro, or even “Hey You” is an ominous sign. He does not feel any intimacy, or any attraction if he intentionally resists getting close.
3. He does not seem to get your flirting cues at all.
Don’t assume he’s on “on the spectrum” just because he doesn’t seem to be getting your social cues. He might be reading your signals loud and clear, but choosing NOT to encourage you. He might simply not be interested and doesn’t want to get your hopes up. It’s the mature thing to do because leading someone on when there’s no interest is a cruel thing to do.
4. He does not text you back right away…or even very often.
I’m sure guys have heard the advice “Don’t text her too soon!” But come on. Waiting hours? Days, or even weeks? That’s not a good sign at all. He might be a “friend” but if he keeps a woman waiting, he is not looking for a relationship with that woman.
5. He always flakes on anything besides texting.
Sure, he answers texts. But when it comes to actually going out, or talking on the phone/webcam, or planning an event? He is nowhere to be found. He texts you because it requires minimal effort.
But the first chance he gets to progress in the relationship? He backs off. This is a foreboding sign. It’s safe to assume his flakiness will define the entire future relationship.
6. Practically all of his texts are business-centered.
Sure, he’s happy and flirty and very intense when he texts you. But uh…do you notice that practically all of these texts are work related? Or involving some project you’re both taking part in? That is NOT a coincidence.
Sure, romance happens at work but it’s always OFF the job when the sparks fly. If his communication to you always revolves around work, don’t get your hopes up. He needs to show interest outside of the “office.”
7. He just wants something from you.
On the other hand, if he only seems to text you when he wants something, even if it’s not related to work, that’s still a bad sign. He is using you for what you can do for him, obviously, but has no real use for you outside of these favors. This happens more than people think! There are catfishers out there scamming people out of hundreds or thousands of dollars every day.
Be very careful when it comes to doing favors for someone that NEVER gives you the romance you’re yearning to feel.
8. He is…way too quiet.
One of the most telling signs that a relationship is ending or just never had any sparks to begin with, is if his energy changes. Whereas before he was excited, and quick to answer, and speaking his unfiltered thoughts, now he’s changed.
He is polite. He is slower to respond. His enthusiasm seems muted. If you confront him about it he may deny it. But it’s not in your imagination. Sure, guys sometimes have a bad day. But if you’re still his muse, he will find your company refreshing. He will always perk up a little bit.
If nothing seems to perk him up, it’s likely his heart is no longer in this texting friendship.
9. He has been trying to have some odd conversations lately.
Does it seem like he has something to say? Is he hinting around in strange ways about the future, but they don’t seem at all promising? It’s very likely he is trying to work his way around to a rejection but isn’t sure how to say it. He doesn’t want to hurt your feelings but he’s also trying to tell you not to wait for him. Pay close attention to these strange conversations. If you pick up on a vibe that says, “I am not comfortable with this”, take it seriously and back away.
10. Or…he is sex-mad.
Then again, if he is always talking about sex or trying to hook up, and yet NEVER talks about anything serious or deep, then he’s “not interested” in a different kind of way.
He’s up for easy sex but doesn’t want a relationship with you. Don’t fall for horny attention, thinking it’s real interest. Ninety-nine percent of the time you cannot turn a Friends with Benefits guy into a serious boyfriend.
In closing, remember that if the passion is gone, his interest will continue to decline. Or if he never liked you to begin with, the coldness and distance you feel will only get worse. Pick up on it now and make plans to save yourself from those painful conversations.
It’s better to leave now, and spare the both of you that awkward talk. Move on and find a relationship where you feel valued and loved.
Text him this to trigger his desire to chase you…
Did you know that you can trigger a man’s hormones through your text messages?
It’s true. How you communicate with a man can actually release different hormones in his body.
One of the most important ones is testosterone because that’s what makes him CHASE you, pursue you, and invest in you so that he gets “hooked” and desires something more with you.
Want to trigger this in your man?
P.S. You can actually trigger a “cocktail of emotions” inside a man that makes him feel like he can’t get you out of his mind and even feel addicted to you, if you text him a certain way.