How to Get More Romance Than You Can Handle on Valentine’s Day

Talk about sad! On the most romantic day of the year, many people are desperately unhappy. They’re either single and feeling lonely or are in a committed relationship but aren’t feeling the “spark” anymore. Ironically each unhappy person envies the other unhappy person’s life.

Forbes magazine even published a list of reasons why you’re not happy during Valentine’s Day, which is sour enough to make even the Care Bears glower instead of smile. But here’s the thing. Romance is only what we put into it. We can’t afford to sit back and hope that it happens to us this year, just like in fairy tales. We have to make it happen and enjoy that “good karma” (so to speak) when it comes back to us.

The reason why your friend is enjoying all this awesome romance in her life and you’re not, may well be because she understands the simple law of attraction. (And she may not be able to explain it to you…but she instinctively knows it)

Namely, that in order to make guys try really hard to impress you and give you the great sex and romance you desire this Valentine’s Day, you need to inspire them to chase you.

Now I know some people feel that the opposite is true. That women should just wait and dump guys who aren’t romantic because being with you is a privilege he should never take for granted. But that’s the kind of thinking that’s 50 / 50 in life. Either you’ll get everything you want, or you’ll be really lonely on Valentine’s Day. Flip a coin.

I advocate the 100 / 100 option that says, the more you put into it, the more you get back. If you get guys all excited and give them the REACTIONS they want, they will work harder to please you. They will be adventurous. They will show off their sex appeal. They will even be sweet and chivalrous. Some will write beautiful poetry while others will romance you with words and dramatic kisses.

But are you playing the part of the playful feminine woman who wants to be chased? That determines just how “into it” the guy will be.

Remember these tips when it comes to inspiring men to be romantic…(Yes even romantic idiots and dumb guys that think “romance” is something chicks write about)

1. If your goal is to escalate romance with a guy you already know, express your needs as positive WANTS.

Lecturing him on how you need more romance and how he’s failed to give it to you is the worst thing you can do. Instead, be more positive. Express what you feel and more importantly what you want—the want that he can provide for you. This works on any man, whether it’s a “Honey, I want to go somewhere exciting! Let’s do something fun and romantic!” or a “Hey dude, I remember you. Kind of feeling like dancing tonight with some friends. Are you a dancer?” Describing to men what you WANT, what you think is romantic, is so much more effective than hoping he just figures it out by watching Keanu Reeves movies.

2. Romance takes time. If you want intense and passionate romance, make time for it and get rid of all distractions.

The reason so many love gurus focus on “creating the perfect evening” is because just getting the kids out of the house (and the cellphones out of your hands) is the most important step. You can’t rush romance. You can rush sex, but you can’t rush passionate sex—the kind that will make him addicted to you! This takes time and planning adequate time for epic romance is SO much more important than hoping he spontaneously does something romantic for you. What sounds better anyway? Him miraculously remembering to bring you a rose? Or, arranging for a romantic weekend getaway in the mountains where you make love all day, talk for hours under the blankets, eat breakfast and bed and then exchange gifts and handwritten letters?

Romance is a two-player game, it’s something you plant and something he grows, to use an illustration. You put the ideas into his head. You let him run with it and make the romance come alive!

3. Plan the romance—and plan for novelty.

Planning for discussion, for sex, and for fine dining is all well and good. But don’t forget the key ingredient that actually creates romance—the novelties. The newness. The new experiences that prompt deeper and more passionate conversations. It’s always best to plan for SOME new activity, whether it’s vacationing in a cabin, or decorating the house, or doing something exciting off both of your bucket lists. The more new experiences you enjoy together now, the more you will remember them later. And the more romance they bring out since he now associates these amazing times with you—his adrenaline pumps through his body and he remembers that you make this all possible. His love for you grows according to how much fun he has with you. He has to express thanks, he has to KEEP you so that this party never ends. And so the love poetry, the sweetness, and the grand romantic gestures follow.

4. While planning for all this romance, don’t forget to be spontaneous when the time is right!

Even though you probably will have to plan for romance, spontaneity is what makes your affair feel real—feel truly alive. Don’t tell your man to be spontaneous. Show him. Follow your instincts and do spontaneous and quirky things that remind him that you love him (or in the case of a guy you don’t know, that you might like him). Leave notes under his pillow, write him a letter, give him a gift he’s been talking about, send him sexy texts building up excitement for this Valentine’s Day to come.

Enjoy sex—both giving and receiving. Don’t fantasize quietly bring yours and his out in the open and enjoy the opportunity to experience them together. Have fun with role-playing and take hours, not minutes, to have more emotionally fulfilling sex. The kind that goes all night because the foreplay never ends! Orgasm isn’t the goal…it’s just the fun of being intimate and naughty with each other.

Your man will better learn by example. If you show him how much fun giving spontaneously can be, he will be more inclined to follow suit. His mind will click and he’ll start to think, Maybe she would enjoy me bringing her a dozen roses. God knows she sure does sweet things for me!

I really don’t believe men are dumb or unromantic by nature. They are simply logical thinkers and novices when it comes to understanding what women want. If you have the gift of intuition and are more open with your feelings, use that to your advantage. Learn to guide them and show them what to do. Let them know what you want (even if it’s just pointing out what other people do) and then reward them with attention afterward. Let them know how to please you and then stand back. Let him become your Romeo. The romantic beast you created!

40 Flirty Texts That Men Absolutely Love

If you’re struggling to figure out what to say to your man to bring you closer together, I’ve put together a guide of 40 fun and flirty text messages that will spark a stronger and deeper desire in whatever man you use them with.

If you don’t know what to say to your man, use these “cut and paste” text messages from my free guide and watch how much he absolutely loves it!

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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