You know how the doctor use to say, “What hurts?” And then you say, “It hurts when I do this?” And the doctor says, in all of his great wisdom, “Well, stop doing that!”
It’s a corny old dad joke, but hey, there’s a lesson to glean from that.
That is, that sometimes the most obvious solution is the correct one. We tend to overcomplicate love and relationships, don’t we?
We’re almost insulted when we hear really simple advice. Like, “leave him (if he makes you feel that awful)” or “don’t sleep with him too soon!”
Yet, simple advice is usually what works. We reject the simple advice and we create alternative strategies, and sometimes very complex solutions to the problem.
But in the end, we usually find that everyone’s advice was right. It was our instinct that was off. Why is that? Maybe it’s because we give ourselves too much credit. That, and we fail to realize that when a person looks in “from the outside” they can see details that might otherwise be invisible.
That’s why a family member or a friend can see problems in our relationship that we are blind to. Stuff we may miss or may even deny because we so desperately want to believe this love is real. We’ve all been there.
But when we stop thinking so hard and instead go for the most obvious solution, sometimes it helps.
NO CONTACT – Why It Works
For example, take the NO CONTACT rule. It seems really simple.
If the relationship is not progressing and the guy is acting weird (like distancing himself from you or changing the energy level in your conversations) then it’s time to STOP doing what you’re doing.
Maybe your instinct says, “Whoah something is wrong. It’s time to talk it out.” Or, “I must have done something wrong. I better apologize.”
But that’s what we mean by “overcomplicating” the issue. The issue is simple. He isn’t comfortable with what’s going – as is, right now. There is only one direction to go: in reverse.
So that means it’s time to resist the urge to move forward, to talk things out, to apologize, to interrogate him, or all other panic emotions.
Instead, it’s time to back away. While some might think that slowing down communication works well (and gives the guy some space) others might feel more drastic action is needed.
After all, they say, you don’t want to reward him for pulling a stunt like this, right? So rather than “slowing down” communication, they just END ALL CONTACT.
Does it work? Does the guy ever come back or does he just move on and forget that you two were ever close?
When is No Contact Justified?
Then again, that’s just what some people say. There is no golden rule for how “tough” you need to be, when dealing with a guy. That depends on your personality, his personality, and what actually happened in the relationship.
If his disposition has changed only slightly (but you can tell he still likes you) then there’s no reason to punish him with a week-long snub. Maybe he just needs some space and there’s nothing wrong with giving him that space.
On the other hand, what if he took more drastic action first? What if he is canceling dates or talking about breaking up with you, or cheating, or becoming temperamental for no reason?
Then it’s very possible he’s taking you for granted. In this case, a NO CONTACT rule is definitely justified, because he’s the one who doesn’t seem to want this relationship anymore.
By choosing not to contact him (AT ALL, not even online or just as a friend) you’re letting him know that he has made the choice to end things between the two of you. You’re not punishing him…you’re just tired of getting hurt. You’re tired of trying to make this relationship work when he’s obviously not happy.
The Powerful Effects of No Contact
Guess what usually does happen at this point? If he still has feelings for you, they come out like fireworks!
A man who cares about you, and who is scared of losing you will come back. He will dote on you with attention until he can get back what he lost. He may even try to change, as he now realizes that he was in the wrong, carrying that negativity into an important relationship.
Even if he can’t decide if he loves you (which is a no-go for sure!) he may still be provoked at the idea of you not wanting to text him anymore. He may become jealous or curious to see what you’re up to.
Hey, if you really want to mess with his mind, then start making big changes in your life and post them all over (public) social media. Let him stalk you just a little bit and see that you’re doing much better without him. This “Jedi Mind Trick” always seems to work with exes, and they will usually text you just to see if they still can – if you will respond at all.
When this happens, it’s all a matter of making him work for your attention. NOT rewarding him or jumping back to the way things were, just to make him happy. Hopefully, this simple experiment taught you both something about relationships and the effort both of you must put forth to make things work.
The Side Effects of No Contact
Of course, there are some “side effects” of the NO CONTACT rule. It may hurt you immensely, to ignore him, or block him, or stop checking out his social page. It may hurt, to see him “negotiating” with you about getting back together. These are issues you must think seriously about, and determine what you want from him and from a relationship. You must do this BEFORE you get back together with him and send him positive cues to follow.
The No Contact rule does work, but it’s not just a trick. It’s a test to see how much you love each other and where your future is really going.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
