I Love You Boyfriend

You may fall in love with your crush right away, especially if he’s handsome, smart and the chemistry is instantaneous. However, if your instincts are to hold back and NOT tell him that you love him too soon…

You’re right! It’s a shame we can’t live in a world where honest and unfiltered thoughts flow freely. But when people say brutally honest things or put their hearts on their sleeves, disaster follows!

I’m sure there are many women who would agree that telling a man “I love you” before he’s ready to hear it, could spell the end of an otherwise promising relationship.

As soon as you say “I love you” it changes the dynamic. Now he’s thinking of responsibility, forever, children, families, it’s a lot to process!

More to the point, when you say it first that means the entire psychology of the relationship has shifted. YOU are now chasing HIM, telling him that you love him first. Now he has to either:

Tell you that he loves you back, committing to you and letting you lead in the relationship
Change the subject, which creates a very awkward scene
Give you back some reassurance that he cares for you, but is not ready to commit yet

None of these are very good scenarios. This is why practically relationship coaches will remind the self-confident women to HOLD BACK saying “I love you” or “I’m in love with you” UNTIL the man says it first.

It’s not actually about competition or about getting him to chase you, no mind games of any sort. It’s simply a courtesy. You want him to lead, you want him to proceed whenever he’s comfortable and ready to talk about feelings. You want it to be his idea so that he WANTS IT, he needs it, and he’s committed to you. Men work harder for what they want. And in the long run, his desire for you will be stronger if he figures out that he loves you first.

That brings us to the touchy subject, how DO you tell a guy you have feelings for him (A) before he says I love you and (B) after he says he loves you?

They are two very different phases in the relationship. The first phase is essential in getting a man to emotionally connect with you. Without emotional engagement, his declaration of love might never come.

The second phase is fairly easy, since he’s already said “I love you” and now all you have to do is reflect back the same level of interest, enthusiasm and passion as he gives you.

Let’s consider then, 15 ways to say “I love you” to a boyfriend, first without saying the word forbidden LOVE, and then 15 more ways actually saying the word love.

(Use these to suggest you care about him, moving HIM to say “I’m in love with you”)

I care about you, (NAME). You’re not just a friend to me, I hope you know that.
I think about you sometimes. You drift into my mind in pleasant waves throughout the day.
I believe in you. You’re a good man and I hope you know that.
I feel something strong for you. I don’t know what it is. I just know I like spending time with you.
You inspire me. I like myself when I’m around you. You bring out the best in people.
I wish you were here tonight. It’s cold and lonely.
Whenever I get sad, I think of you and then smile. You make me happy.
Whatever girl you set your eyes on is sure lucky. You’re such a good catch.
Whoever you marry, make sure she treats you right. You deserve the best.
You’re my hero.
You bring joy and light wherever you go. I see the best side of you.
I think you’re amazing. If only the entire world knew just what a great guy you are.
I’m your biggest fan.
You are the best combination of bad boy and nice guy I’ve ever met. You’re one of those guys most women find attractive but not everyone is smart enough to match you.
I know things about you, (NAME). All positives. You are everyone’s best friend.

(Use these after he says “I love you”)

I love you too, silly.
I’ve always loved you from afar.
I love you even more today than yesterday.
I will love you for the rest of my life and then some.
How can anyone not love you? You’re amazing.
I was just thinking how much I love you.
I could find a hundred different reasons why I love you.
I love you so much it heals. Not hurts…it replaces all my dark memories with sunshine.
I love you, your life, your view of the world, your humor, your flaws, your attitude…everything about you I love.
I love you because I know you.
No one will ever love you as much as I do.
I love you madly, truly, deeply.
I love you more than chocolate. So you know my love is real.
I love you too…in fact, I love you even more than you love me.
I love you, goofy.

Saying I love you is a big step in any relationship and it’s a moment that should not be rushed. It also shouldn’t be done in a forced or perfunctory manner. Genuine emotion is what prompts the word. Remember, the relationship is forever changed after sex, and then again, after someone falls in love. Take your time in the early courtship to make sure you truly connect and are compatible for the long-term. Someday, you’re going to look back and miss those days before marriage, before children, when you were young and just getting to know each other. Embrace the present and enjoy your romance one day at a time.