You’re out with a guy–maybe you’re with friends getting drinks, or coworkers getting to know one another. Regardless, you’re both having a great time, and all of a sudden, he looks you in the eyes, and says, “I like you.”
Your head is spinning. Up until this point, you were wondering how to know if a guy is into you. Maybe you were looking for ways to tell if a shy guy likes you, or even how to know if a military guy likes you. Regardless, he has come right out and said it, saving you so much worry and stress. This is a great thing–if you like him back.
Let’s paint a different picture, though. He tells you he likes you, but you don’t feel the same. If you can’t reciprocate the feelings, what do you do?
In both situations, you might be feeling overwhelmed. What is the appropriate thing to say? Well, it depends on how you feel.
Let’s cover a few possible scenarios and some potential responses so that you can be prepared for when the time comes. Of course, it goes without saying that you don’t need to ever respond immediately, and you don’t need to respond with what you think he wants to hear. Be honest with yourself and with him!
If You Like Him Back
This is the moment you have been waiting for. The man you are crushing on has finally admitted he’s got it bad for you. Before you squeal and jump into his arms, let’s think of an adequate response.
Let yourself feel the joy of this moment. You’ve been waiting for it, so savor it. The person you feel strongly about is reciprocating it back to you. Smile and make eye contact, and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. He has shown you his vulnerability and made it safe for you to express your feelings.
A simple, “I like you, too” could suffice. This confirms that you feel the same way and invites him to make the next move, whatever it may be.
If You Don’t Like Him
It is completely acceptable to not return his feelings. Do not feel obligated to lie, or to pretend that you like him back if you don’t. You don’t owe him anything.
However, you should still be gentle and respectful in your responses, especially if he is a friend. Here are a few potential responses:
-“You are very sweet and I am very flattered, but I don’t feel the same. I’m sorry.”
-“I really appreciate you being so vulnerable and open with me. You really are such a great person, and any girl would be lucky to have you, but I don’t feel the same way.”
-“Thank you for sharing that with me. You’re great, and I’m sure you will find a wonderful girl who adores you, but it isn’t me.”
If You Want to Remain Friends
This is such a tough boat to be in–you admire this person as a friend, but cannot picture a future together. That does not make you a bad person, it makes you human. You can’t change what you feel, and you can’t make yourself feel something you don’t.
You have to be mindful that this guy might not want to be friends; it might be too hard on him. Either way, you owe it to yourself to respectfully and kindly decline his advances, while assuring him that you would like him to still be in your life.
Here are some ways in which you might respond:
-“I really value our friendship, and I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t feel that way about you.”
-“You are such a great person, and I do like you, but as a friend. I really hope we can stay friends.”
-“I’m sorry if I ever gave you the wrong impression, but I don’t feel the same way about you. I’d love to stay friends, though.”Of course, if your crush hasn’t quite opened up to you yet and you’re ready for that next step, be sure to check out my latest post on how to trick a guy into admitting he likes you.