Every woman has a breaking point. If you feel you’ve been neglected or taken for granted, or even abused in some cases, then you know this can’t go on for much longer. Something has to change. You’ve tried hinting at it. Maybe you’ve even tried talking to him.
But he isn’t getting the message. Whether he’s oblivious, in denial, or is resistant to the idea of change, doesn’t matter. You can’t keep enabling his behavior by staying with him and staying miserable. You want to give things a chance but only if he is willing to make changes.
Now we know hinting around doesn’t work. Maybe you’ve even had a few conversations here and there but he isn’t getting the message. Rather than continuing to play this game with him, it’s time to be honest. It’s time to be a good communicator so that he helps you deal with the problem. Here are some ideas on how to make him realize that he’s losing you, but that there is a path for rebuilding intimacy.
1. Talk to him openly about the problem.
Your guy will always fall back on the excuse that “he didn’t know” if you avoid that uncomfortable conversation. So you must show him the respect of letting him know exactly what the problem is. You must also tell him that you’re willing to work on the problem, but you need his cooperation.
At this point, the guy will probably do one of a few things.
A. He will try to argue his way out of it, hoping that the confrontation turns you off and you never bring it up again.
B. He will say whatever you want to hear but then forget about it later. (And then claim he had no idea)
C. He will make personal attacks, hoping to hurt your feelings and punish you for bringing it up.
D. He will claim not to understand any of it.
E. And so on.
So you will need to do more than just have a conversation. Most guys will still play dumb later on even if you have that first conversation. So it’s important to bring the issue up a few times – not from the angle of “You are the problem!” but more along the lines of “Can we please fix this? How can we improve this aspect of our lives?”
Make him understand that you’re not criticizing him. You’re focusing on the issue. He will be more inclined to help if he realizes it’s something you both can fix together, rather than asking him to change his entire personality.
But what if you’ve tried that several times and he still won’t listen? Then you have to start taking more drastic steps…
2. Stop giving him all your affection.
The first step is oftentimes the most difficult. You’re used to giving him everything he wants. You want to please him. You are even willing to sacrifice for him. But that hasn’t worked, has it? That means it’s time to take a step back. STOP giving him so much affection. Stop being there when he needs you.
You must reduce your response time for messages, your interest in him, and enthusiasm for his life. It does hurt at first, you’re right. But that’s the message he’s sending, isn’t it? He wants you to back away. He isn’t comfortable with all the attention you’re giving him.
Or if he is, then he’s taking you for granted. He will not learn, he will not understand that he must change his bad behavior UNLESS you show him there are consequences. He must learn to miss that affection and see what a dramatic change has taken place before he associates that change with his own bad behavior.
3. Stop letting him depend on you.
Along the same lines, stop letting him depend on you. It seems like the “right thing to do”, to be there for him at the last minute. After all, you want to be loyal. You want to show him how great your love is for him, so at the last minute you always “save him” and give him what he wants.
But that sends another contradictory message. You’re basically telling him, “I will never stop providing for you. I’ll never stop bailing you out, no matter how low we go.”
That’s not a great message to send. It’s enabling him to continue the behavior you don’t want, because in the back of his mind he EXPECTS you to save him. You must teach him to help himself. You must show him that if he wants you to be there for him and to be dependable he must change. He must meet you halfway.
4. Spend more time making yourself happy for a change.
You’ve given so much of your time, your love, your spirit to making him happy! If he isn’t impressed by now, you do need to take a step back and be kind to yourself for a change. Maybe he will come back later on. But for now, you need to focus on rebuilding your self-esteem.
Back away and become more independent. Let him sense that you’re learning how to be sufficient. Work on self-improvement and leave him behind as you accomplish new things in life.
Stay busy making yourself happy and share your success with others. He will start to notice that you’re making great strides without him. Is he still part of your life? Does he want to be? That’s his decision to make. And this leads us to the last step…
5. Talk about your future without him.
If the thought hasn’t sunk in yet then don’t try to explain it anymore. All you have to do is inform him of what’s going to happen. He might not believe you until you start giving specific examples of how your life and his life will change. He will start to understand this, not as a mindless threat, but as a PLAN. A plan that you’re working towards and will eventually happen if you set your mind to it.
Don’t be afraid to leave, even if you want him back eventually. This might be the only way he takes you seriously. Give him time to miss you and see what happens.
In conclusion, remember that reaching a man who is intentionally trying to ignore you is all about confrontation. He is avoiding confrontation because it’s stressful. However, you must have this confrontation and negotiate a solution. Don’t make it “low conflict.” Instead, make it issue-oriented as much as possible without making personal attacks on him. Make him your teammate. Try to make him see this negotiation as something beneficial to him.
Once he understands that you’re serious but still determined to work things out he will understand what’s at stake.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5-word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
