You know that one guy friend who sort of replies to your text messages once a month or so, and then goes back to being distant and busy all the time? Maybe you send him a lengthy text just to get his attention…and the two of you have a good chat.
But then after a pretty good conversation, he loses interest again! And it’s another month or two before you hear anything from him.
Yeah, sure everyone has that one friend. And that’s NOT the kind of texting relationship you want! This is actually the kind of frustrating relationship that might feel like a love interest to you, but it’s certainly not feeling that way to him. It’s more of a friendship than anything romantic, at least if that’s the present dynamic.
So you either need to move on and forget about him, or you need to completely change the energy of the relationship and start again.
Learning how to make a guy obsessed with you over text involves stimulating his desire, bonding as friends, and then making him fall for you by becoming emotionally connected with him. In this article, we’re going to discuss the formula for making a guy like you, primarily through texting.
How to Get a Guy to Like You Over Text
The first step to making a guy like you through texting is to develop a comfortable rapport. The first meeting can happen in person, and it’s best it if it does. However, you can still make a good first impression on a dating app or even a social media site like Facebook or Twitter.
Find Something in Common
To begin, you have to explain who you are and what you might have in common, with as few words as possible. In person, this is pretty easy. You smile at each other, you make small talk, and you wait until he asks for your number.
If you’ve never met in person, you do need to emphasize that you already have something in common, and that’s why you’re messaging him. Maybe that something is one of your mutual friends, or maybe it’s an issue you both feel strongly about, or even some funny news item you both commented on.
Basically, the first step is showing the guy you’re not a stalker, or a crazy person! You’re just two people who are no longer strangers. You’re becoming friends. Good!
Now it’s time to focus on having a good chat and nothing much else. You have to show him that this texting relationship is all about having fun.
Get Him to Laugh!
So what texts do guys like to receive? Guys love to laugh! Why else would they check their messages but to feel good?
So consider sharing funny memes, or news articles, or saying something funny that happened to you. It’s important to associate your company with happy feelings, especially in the beginning. Get him to like you and your sense of humor BEFORE you broach the subject of dating or anything else too serious.
Talk About His Favorite Subject
Of course, if you want the relationship to progress at some point, you do have to talk about other things besides a barrel of laughs. Now is the best time to start talking about other fun topics – namely his favorite subject. Is he into music, movies, cartoons, comics or mechanics? It’s probably easy to find his favorite topic from just a cursory look at his social media page.
So you can broach the subject directly, or even just by asking him a question, or sending a link that talks more about the subject.
What to Text a Guy to Make Him Want You
The next step is to make him WANT you, desire you, and feel a sexual or romantic attraction. Now in case you’re wincing at the thought of mentioning dating to him directly, GOOD INSTINCT! It’s not a great idea to ask him out or to put him on the spot by talking about anything romantic. In fact, it will make him colder than a winter’s night if you take the fun out of your friendly relationship.
Tease and Flirt With Him
So here’s a safer way to get him to feel something for you. Put the thought into his head but play innocent about it. One of the best ways a woman can do this is to tease him and flirt with him, but NOT actually pressure him to do anything about it.
Teasing him and flirting with him just means being “a little more” than friendly. Instead of a platonic energy, you give him a lot more eye contact. You give him a bigger smile. You don’t just joke around like friends, but you also tease him and provoke more emotion out of him.
When you get comfortable treating him “like a guy” and not just “like a friend”, it’s much easier to develop a sexy banter between the two of you. Try watching comedy sitcoms about characters who are “frenemies” and end up hopping into bed by accident. Do you notice how the writers of the show create “banter” between the two characters?
People who are pre-dating (meaning not officially dating but learning each other and kind of trolling each other for a response) enjoy teasing each other and “getting a rise” out of their buddy. They both use a little good-natured sarcasm to make each other laugh and even make their mutual friends laugh.
It’s a friendly energy, not a malicious feeling.
You can practice being more naturally friendly and flirty with everyone you meet so that you can summon this “feminine energy” any time you want.
If you don’t talk to people very often, it may not feel natural. Introverts tend to approach flirting differently, so try being a little more friendly, but don’t go too over the top with it. Sometimes “a little” goes a long way in flirting with a new friend.
Don’t just say something rude or imply anything romantic. Instead, try teasing him about something that he enjoys talking about, or an inside joke that the two of you share.
You can poke fun at yourself too, but don’t get too carried away. Instead of putting yourself down, try to find something to laugh about together.
How to Text a Guy You Like
Once you start getting comfortable with a guy via text, laughing and teasing each other, it’s time to shift the relationship energy just a little bit. You want him to “like you”, to feel something lustful or romantic for you.
And up until now, he may have dismissed that feeling, figuring “Oh she flirts with everyone.” Or even “Oh I flirt with everyone and it’s no big deal.”
So this is actually one of the more challenging aspects to texting-as-dating. Transforming a very flirty and shallow relationship into something real and honest.
How do you make a guy obsess over you? The key is to make him feel special!
While mindless flirting feels good and can be addictive in its own right, making a guy feel special is what changes the dynamic in the relationship and escalates the tension.
You have to make him feel like he’s something special, AND like he’s the only guy that captures your attention. As you might guess, men are ego-driven.
When they feel a connection beyond the physical, it’s about how you make them feel. The better he feels, the more he credits you for bringing the best out of him.
It’s also about how much they can affect you. Sometimes what a man needs to hear is confirmation of what he suspects – that there might be a strong attraction between the both of you!
He also wants to know that he’s “qualified” to date you, that his personality, wit and looks have already charmed you. He has nothing to fear, or nothing to lose, by asking you out on a date!
Can you make him feel that way?
You may wonder, how do you make someone obsessed over text? If you can’t actually be there in person, what can you do to give him that “special moment” just by using words?
Give Him a Compliment
If your intent is to make him feel special then consider changing the energy with something as simple as a genuine compliment.
Guys usually don’t get compliments. They may give plenty, but they don’t get them back often. Now some guys might enjoy a compliment about their looks or about their accomplishments. But chances are, your guy would most appreciate a compliment about his personal efforts.
Think about it. For all the attention he may get about his job or his handsome face, how often does someone give him a compliment about his favorite hobbies? Or his art, or his mechanical endeavors? What’s his secret passion that very few people know or care about? THAT’S what he wants to talk about and that’s the kind of compliment that’s really going to stick with him.
Make Him Visualize Something Happening
The power of suggestion is one of the best ways to get a guy interested or even “obsessed with you”, without actually doing anything too aggressive.
All you have to do is tell him something “matter of factly” that just happens to involve a visual of you in a sexy and compromising position. You have to play it completely straight, and without being flirty, however.
By describing the visual, even in passing, you are forcing him to think about it. If you do it in a subtle way, he won’t even notice that YOU are the one that fed the image to him.
All he’s going to feel is a stronger attraction to you, now that you put the thought into his head. If he’s bold, he might flirt with you and say something funny and sexy…and if that happens, you can flirt back. Bingo! You’ve started talking about dating.
But even if he doesn’t break that barrier yet, you’ve already put the idea into his head.
Make Him Experience Other Senses Too!
And in addition to dropping sexy visuals, you can also play with his other four senses, that of hearing, smelling, tasting, and touching. While he can’t virtually touch or taste anything, you can still text the descriptions of such activities and make him feel a moment – such as visiting a beach (together).
You can also text him photos (not sexy photos, just everyday photos – looking your best of course) and see what kind of reaction you get from him. If he likes you he will definitely encourage more photos!
You might also experiment with audio messages or video messages since guys do love it when all of their senses are involved.
How to Make a Guy Fall in Love with You Over Text Messages
But visual and aural stimulation aside, it’s all about the words. Words can linger in a person’s mind. The more you text a guy, and figure out his texting style, the more you can make your text conversations a sexy little secret. This is just what he needs to become obsessed with you – a comfortable rapport, the feeling that he can say anything!
So let’s take it one step further: what are words to say to make him fall in love? Lust is somewhat easy to inspire in a man with just an implication. But love is what we’re talking about.
Love is what starts a man wanting you beyond just physical pleasure. He wants your mind, your thoughts, your whole being in his life.
The best way to get a man to love you is to bond with him emotionally, and that can be done via texting. Actually, texting a person can be to your advantage, since people tend to read a lot of feelings into text messages, and get carried away with emotion and romance. But the key is to stay focused and not lose control in the final lap of this relationship.
Express Feelings – Not Desires
Rather than rush into a commitment, it’s time to simply up the ante and start expressing how you feel – with no extra hints about the future. A man loves it when he has the ability to affect a woman emotionally, that is to make her feel attraction.
So texting him expressions of your feelings is a good idea, especially if you keep it controlled. Sentiments about how sweet he is, how he puts a smile on your face, and how you are thinking about something he said, or something he did that made an impression.
These are not scandalous feelings, but they let him know that the attraction is mutual. The thing is, you’re not pressuring him to follow your lead. You’re letting him lead. Your texts are the equivalent of saying, “I like you…keep talking to me.”
That means he can lead and keep the relationship going at a pace that he’s comfortable with. He gets to feel romantic, dashing and heroic – and he thinks the attraction is all his idea and his escalation. Good! That’s confirmation of what he feels and it’s not coming from you.
Assuming you don’t have sex with him too soon, he will continue to think about you and imagine your future together.
Find His Heart
But he won’t start to fall in love until he starts sharing his most intimate feelings with you. Become his confidant by asking more open-ended questions. Talk about subjects that you know (from conversation) are close to his heart. Value his expert opinion. Let him get emotional or impassioned and let him know you understand – and that you can tell him anything.
The more you can get him talking about stuff that really matters (like family, important social issues, faith, career, goals, etc.) the more he is bonding with you. Let him feel protective of you and let him feel that you’re his biggest fan and supporter. Once you’re sure that he is sharing all of his deepest thoughts with you and only you, THAT’S when you know he’s falling in love.
Finally, don’t underestimate the power of opening up to him – by being vulnerable in his presence. Now that you’ve gotten him to share his feelings, share JUST A LITTLE BIT of your own. Try telling a story about your childhood, or about a meaningful experience that happened to you.
Give him a reason to cry a little, but remain perfectly controlled, via text. Show him that you have a loving heart but that you don’t trust just anyone to know you. You trust him, because of the special connection you’ve made together.
Now that you’ve trusted him with this tidbit, he will work harder to build on that trust and become even closer as friends.
How to Get a Guy to Like You Again Over Text
As you can see, texting a guy and feeding his obsession is all a matter of reaching out to him with more feminine energy – letting him lead and letting him figure out how much he likes you. Even if your texting relationship started hot and kind of sizzled, you can use this formula to get him back over time.
Stumped about how to start a conversation? Check out these flirty good morning texts for him!