How to Ask a Guy to Be Your Boyfriend

When the sex is good, and when you can tell a man is VERY MUCH into you and enamored with your personality, life is bliss. In fact, things are going so well, you’re probably worried about messing everything up.

And I wish I could tell you, “Don’t worry…just enjoy! Be honest. Be expressive and be yourself. That will always work.”

But the truth is sometimes because of misunderstandings, or because of awkward tension and bad timing, a person really CAN mess things up and create a rift in the relationship. Sadly sometimes that rift never heals and the relationship goes south.

That’s what you want to avoid. And that’s what I want to talk about.

As a way to explain this, let me share a moment from the archives of television. I won’t use any names but there was once a very dramatic moment from a talk show in the 1970s involving two comedians. One was relating a serious story and the other accidentally laughed at the wrong time. The first comedian took offense and uttered the phrase, “Pick your spots, baby.”

Meaning, that regardless of whether it was wrong or right to laugh about the subject, sometimes “setting” means everything. With poor communication, you can offend a person. With bad timing, you can create awkward tension. With bad vibes, you can even scare a man away for good, even if the last five dates you had were amazing.

But I don’t want to give the impression that you have to hit every single note perfectly either. That’s not what compatibility is, it’s not perfectly playing a role. It’s about bonding together emotionally and being on the same page.

So pick your spots…what does it mean? Take these three lessons to heart.

1. It’s not about agreeing with the guy constantly…it’s about mirroring his mood.

Timing doesn’t mean you perfectly execute a line of dialog or tell a joke in the perfect voice, no nothing like that. It means simply that you are attentive to what kind of a mood he’s in. You read his body language, his tone of voice and the expression on his face. Based on how he feels, you decide how you want to communicate.

There may be times when he wants to be expressive and wants you to be expressive with him. There may be other times when he’s melancholy and just needs someone to listen. There may be times when he wants to flirt, joke and have sex…or other times when he wants to confide in you something very emotional.

So then, are you attentive to his moods? Do you mirror the energy he sends you? Or do you simply wait to talk and overwhelm him with information?

If the idea is to help move forward into boyfriend / girlfriend territory, then makes sure he has the right energy. Don’t approach him at a time when you can sense he’s withdrawing, or sullen, or seems low-energy. Wait for a time when he’s happy about the relationship, about life and seems full of contagious enthusiasm.

2. Express yourself…but don’t tell him what to do.

This is another tricky part, because the most logical thing to do is to guide him towards a mutually beneficial plan of action, right? As in, be my boyfriend! But this actually makes a man feel pressured. He may very well like you but if he feels trapped or awkward about the commitment—as in, “I think you should become my boyfriend and be exclusive to me”—then he may rebel. He may even take the worst option and say that you’re moving too fast for him.

This is why I emphasize that it’s okay to tell him how you feel…but let him put two and two together. For example, you have sex…you both enjoy an intense bonding moment. You’re giddy with emotion and intense feeling. NOW is the time to say something like, “Oh God, I’m addicted to you.” Or “I don’t want this moment to end.” Or “That was amazing, I love the way you make me feel so out of control!”

More positivity. You’re confessing strong emotion. But you’re not actually pressuring him to respond with anything related to commitment or responsibility. You avoid words like forever or commitment or “all the time”.

Now he gets the impression that these great moments, these outstanding memories, are just temporary. Because like every good thing, this casual dating relationship must come to an end.

NOW he’s paying attention. Now he’s dealing with conflicted emotions. That he feels something very intense for you…but he’s not sure how to deal with it. And since you’re not pressuring him to commit, he’s the one struggling. Not you. This is what will give him the courage to lead the relationship and want to ask you to be exclusive. Maybe not marriage yet, but working his way there.

3. Finally, here’s the clincher. Get him to confess something.

You’ve been winding him up, expressing your FEELINGS so far without actually giving him a prompt. Now it’s time for the prompt, but once again, it’s best not to pressure him towards making a decision. Instead, continue bonding and expressing your joy to be with him…and then get him to confess something.

Say something like, “You can tell me anything.” Or “Shock me.” Or even “Tell me when you were happiest in life.” You’re prompting him to share, to speak without logic or fear. Speak emotionally! THIS is when he’s mostly likely to say something “shocking” – like the fact that he really likes you or that he wants you all to himself. Or even that he wants you around all the time—move in with him!

As you can see, you’re still allowing him to make the decision so that he feels it’s his idea and in his best interest.

Yes, it also helps to be studying him in advance of these pivotal moments. Ask yourself questions like:

Are we really emotionally bonding in conversation? Are we sharing life goals? Am I giving him the attention he wants and enough free time to be himself? Are we actually discussing the things we have in common? Has he told me about his life, his job, his childhood and his beliefs? Has he asked about my memories and my views on life?

These are the signals you look for to determine if this is the right “spot” in the relationship to guide him towards a commitment. Remember, it’s not necessarily about timing but about learning his communication style and meeting him in that comfort zone where he will make the decision to commit to you!

The Secret Words That Make His Heart Yours

Today I want to give you some words that you can tell your man that will make him want to give you the relationship you’ve always dreamed he’d have with you…

These words form something I call a “Love Frame” that make a man feel like it’s his mission in life to treat you like a queen.

If you’re struggling to get your man to “step up” and give you the romance you’ve always wanted, you need to watch this video right now…

Click here to watch the video <<

These words will work on him even if…

…your man is pulling away from you or ignoring you completely…

…you think you got intimate with him too soon…

…or you feel like your situation is hopeless…

Because once you understand it…

You’ll be able to trigger a flood of emotion throughout his body that melts away all resistance…

Making him see you as the perfect woman for him…

A woman that he wants to pursue, fight for, and be with from now until the end of time…

Click here to learn the words that make him yours <<

Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

P.S. Try out these seemingly innocent yet strangely powerful words on the man in your life and seem how quickly things change with him…

Making him feel more love for you, more of a connection to you, and more of a desire to please you than he’s ever felt for anyone before in his life.

Click here to discover the words now <<

About The Author

Matthew Coast

What’s stopping you from meeting Mr Right and having the relationship you want? Click here to take the quiz.

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