We spend a lot of time on this blog talking about men chasing women and how most men want to EARN a woman’s attention. We also talk about the danger of being too masculine in your dating approach, namely by becoming too clingy, too aggressive, or too possessive when you meet a man that you like.
So someone recently asked me an interesting question. Is it true that there are some men who actually LIKE women who are aggressive, controlling, clingy and maybe even a bit masculine in their approach?
Great question and there are multiple answers on this. Let’s first describe what masculinity means, both in men and in women.
What is Masculine?
Masculinity is sometimes associated with dominant or bullying behavior, but that’s the worst kind of masculinity. But the actual definition differs according to culture and locality. Some people just think that being masculine means being the opposite of feminine. If being feminine means to be empathetic, humble, nurturing, and sensitive, then positive-masculine would mean to be honest, kind, respectful, strong but always measured.
When someone talks about a masculine woman, they might be referring to a tomboy, or a “butch” type of lesbian who identifies as a man and treats women as a man would.
On the other hand, qualities like possessiveness, persistence, high confidence, or even “wooing” courtship behavior coming from a woman might be seen as a “masculine approach”, even if the woman herself is very feminine in appearance.
Even a seductive femme fatale, or a “cougar”, might be the aggressor in a relationship with a man who is shy and is also the object of a woman’s affection.
And frankly, it’s not unheard of. Some women are that way and yes, some men like it.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with this approach – only that it doesn’t work with everybody. Men who have high confidence, at least statistically speaking, don’t like women who aggressively pursue them.
Women who want to be wooed and appreciated and “chased”, usually don’t go for shy guys who wait for a woman to make the first move. Whether that’s biological or cultural in nature makes no difference. That’s just the way it is for some of the population.
But yes, we’ve all known exceptions to the rule. Some men LOVE being treated like a prize, or “chased” or seduced by a woman. Not just as a roleplay, but as a lifestyle. It’s fun when it happens. And believe it or not, these relationships are not doomed. Some men really enjoy it.
The Types of Men Who Like Authoritative Women
We also have four types of relationships where women take the lead and each one has a unique dynamic:
The Meek Husband: This guy is usually in control of his own life but wants his wife to take the lead in CERTAIN AREAS, while he leads in others. She hesitantly agrees to do it, even though leadership might not come naturally to her.
The Mommy’s Boy: A stereotype that is fairly common, where a shy man likes his partner to make most of the daily decisions in his life. He likes to feel comfortable, pampered, and she sees the benefit in being a wife/mother hybrid. However, even this type of relationship has boundaries that some women do not cross. Sometimes the men also exert their independence in surprising ways.
The Domme: One step further, this relationship sees the woman take almost total control, as she dominates her husband sexually and socially. He enjoys being “trained” while she enjoys being in control. Most conservative couples avoid going this far, at least sexually speaking, though you will sometimes see couples where the wife is obviously “in charge” and the husband never seems to go against her wishes because he’s afraid of upsetting her.
Consensual Slavery: Once again, a kink and an extreme, and usually done ironically. The man is a willing slave for the woman and does anything she wants. She not only dominates him socially and sexually but also punishes him and disciplines him in ways he consensually agrees to. (Or perhaps is pushed out of his comfort zone)
Of course, most couples fall into the first two categories, without the kink. And in both these cases, the woman is not totally in charge – but wants to lead only in certain areas. The couples negotiate these terms.
Problems DO ensue when one or both partners go beyond the boundaries established. It’s always important, whether in a vanilla or kinky relationship, to establish firm boundaries as to what is acceptable and what is not.
Arguments often start when one partner gets their feelings hurt over the other partner violating their trust. Boundaries have been surpassed, promises to “protect” have been broken, and that’s when things get heated.
Feminine Strength vs. Domme Power
Lastly, remember that there are two ways women can be powerful. In the overt, “masculine sense”, which means she assumes more control, or leadership in the coupling, and two, in the “feminine power” sense. This means that even though a woman allows her husband lead, she knows EXACTLY how to get what she wants. She motivates him, encourages him, challenges him, and rewards him for all his efforts.
She basically “trains” him without the guy even realizing it! It’s cunning and subtle but it works. And there’s nothing wrong with it, assuming of course, the husband is happy and is given the independence he wants.
So whether you enjoy being classically feminine and strong, or have always been a tomboy and a woman “who makes the first move”, be proud of who you are. There are some men who like assertive or even aggressive women who act more like men. They like to be asked out, seduced, maybe even pampered.
But successful and confident men also like strong women – it’s just a different type of strength. They want feminine confidence nor possessive or controlling qualities. Their ideal partner is independent, successful, friendly but not a pushover. And of course, she’s so strong that she must be chased – she usually won’t make the first move. She wants an equally strong man to woo her.
So just realize that your approach to dating WILL define the type of relationship you create. Be sure you know what you want in life before projecting those feelings and sending those signals to others.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…