Have you noticed that your boyfriend or crush seems a little different lately? Your first thought is usually “It’s all in my head,” or “maybe he’s just having an off day.”
We usually don’t want to jump to conclusions. And if you were to ask your guy, “What’s the deal?” he will usually always say, “Nothing…I’m okay.”
But something is off! And are you crazy for thinking that something is wrong? No. Human beings are very sensitive to changes in emotion, in mood shifts, and particularly when it comes to dealing with a partner or a member of the opposite sex.
We notice these things because they DO represent a slight change in interaction. The problem is the guy might not even understand what is going on, or that he’s acting weird at all. But you notice and it’s not for nothing that you’ve noticed.
The question is, since you both seem to notice something is off, but can’t talk about it, how in the world are you supposed to handle it?
Relax…it’s not as difficult as it seems. Here are a few tips to remember.
1. If he backs away then he is subconsciously saying, “I need space.”
The primary reason you notice something is wrong is because he is backing away and going in the opposite direction. He may not even realize what he’s doing, because it’s practically instinct. When someone is surpassing our personal comfort zone, instinct says to back away and prepare a defense. The same thing happens psychologically, when a man feels smothered or even cornered.
The best response is to give him exactly what his subconscious mind has requested – Space. Freedom. Backing away from him and letting him be, rather than pushing forward and fixing the issue.
2. Stop panicking – and stop defining what the problem is. It’s all about him and his identity, not you.
Stop trying so hard to understand what went wrong or what needs to be repaired. Rather than adding more fuel to the fire, and giving him stuff to REACT to, do the opposite. Let him figure things out. Chances are, it has nothing to do with you, but everything to do with him. That’s your cue to let him figure things out and determine what he really wants in this relationship. Panicking and forcing him into a tighter commitment is only going to push him farther away.
3. Don’t coddle him, wait for him, or baby him. Live your own life and let him live his.
On the other hand, letting him know that you’re waiting on him, or trying to coddle him so much that he comes back to you, is the opposite of giving a man space. You can’t let him know you’re giving him space. You can’t kindly remind him that you’re waiting on him and will be there to repair him and love him when he figures things out. It’s not just demeaning to yourself, but it’s stressful to him too.
4. Get back to having fun and accomplishing things. Rediscover your independence.
Along those same lines, it’s important to reclaim your confidence, self-worth, and your zest for life. In fact, it’s safe to say your confidence was one of the first things that endeared him to you. Rather than trying to jumpstart the relationship, STOP trying to fix what he has decided to slow down. Instead, go full speed ahead with your own life, your own hobbies and pursuits, and he will admire your independent streak.
He will sense that needed that independence and that you needed it too! You both had the chance to figure things out and work on yourself and you both came out better for it.
5. Keep the lines of communication open, but do not push him for answers.
When he does decide it’s time to talk, it’s important to remember NOT to go back to the way things were. Don’t welcome him back, coddle him, and pretend the romance meter has returned to fall capacity.
Instead, take it slow and complement his energy. If he only wants to talk and clear the air, then be a good listener. Don’t ask questions about the relationship. Assume it is what it is – he backed away and you responded by giving him what he needed. What happens now should happen naturally, without manipulation, and without any expectations from either of you.
6. Always reward him and comfort him – based on the effort he puts forth to chase you.
This also means that you don’t have to play dumb just to appease him. If he gets coy and pretends like nothing happened – when you both know it did – it’s time to back away. Only this time it’s to your advantage and his curiosity.
You have to let him know, without words, that if he wants that same level of intimacy as before, he has to show you. He has to earn it. He has to put forth the effort to chase you, address what happened and why he backed away, and then try to impress you all over again.
Not only is this a test for him, but it’s also exactly what HE wants – to pursue you again and reaffirm that he loves you.
7. Use the downtime to reflect on what you really want from the relationship.
Lastly, don’t feel sad about the “downtime” of a relationship. This is actually a great opportunity to reflect – not on what went wrong, but on where this relationship is going.
Is this really what you want and what you can live with for the rest of your life? Do you want to change? What would you like him to change about himself and is it really possible?
Even if you decide to get back together with him later on, being introspective about the future will help give you back that confidence he has taken away. Don’t be afraid to be slow in romance and independent in your own life. If he loves you, he will respect you for it all the more so.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
