Ghosting – everyone says it’s a terrible thing. Sure, it certainly feels that way when someone you really like stops texting you, or disconnects their phone.
On the other hand, when you meet someone you don’t like and just can’t stand at all, well, then the shoe is on the other foot. Now, you’re the one thinking, “I really need to ghost this guy.”
And I know, the mature thing to do is to tell a guy, “Look I’m not interested, OK?”
But then he keeps coming back with gems like: “Why?” or “RU afraid?” or even “I don’t care if you’re married.”
If a guy can’t take a hint, no wonder you have to ghost him!
So that’s why the subject of ghosting is a little more complex than we sometimes think. Sure, it’s terrible when emotion or even love is involved and you’re the one getting ghosted.
On the other hand, sometimes people make you so uncomfortable, the only solution is to block them, move on, and maybe even forget you ever met him.
The question is, how can you prevent guys from ghosting you? Contrary to popular belief, not all guys are just born ghosters and are going to ghost you randomly for no reason.
There are actually several signs that precede a “ghost”. Once you start to see these signs, that means you have to either have to change the flow of conversation, or just accept he’s a goner and stop chatting with him first. Let’s talk about these signs.
1. He doesn’t want to talk about anything serious.
If he’s only keeping you around for sex, it’s not too surprising that he never gets serious about life, or a real relationship. Even if he’s just texting, he’s always hyper-focused on just one topic. Sex, or maybe something else even less interesting – the only thing he feels that you have in common. His refusal to go deeper is a sign that he may eventually get bored of the relationship.
2. Too many abbreviations or grammatical errors.
If he doesn’t stop to actually think about grammatical errors or even bother to type out whole words and sentences, is it safe to say he’s taking you for granted? Yes! When a guy likes you, he definitely runs spell check, or at least rereads the sentences to make sure he doesn’t sound like a fool. Unless of course, he doesn’t like you and is not that conscientious about upsetting you.
3. You are the only one reaching out.
If he does use proper grammar and spelling, and yet hardly ever says anything, it’s a good sign that he’s not interested in pursuing a long conversation with you. Instead, he only seems to respond to you, oftentimes with yes or no answers, and sometimes he is so vague in response, you get the feeling he doesn’t care that much – even about the topic of conversation.
In short, you’re putting in all the effort to keep the dialog alive. He is doing the bare minimum and that always means he is just one or two more short conversations away from ghosting you.
4. You’ve already had sex with him.
Simply put, if you’ve already had sex with him and it’s barely date three, then it’s quite probably he’s just bound to ghost you – because in his mind the relationship has peaked. If all he wanted was sex, and all you seemed to want was sex, then there’s not much left to say – even if you try your hardest to challenge him afterwards.
That’s why it’s imperative that you don’t sleep with him too early. Let him know that you’re not one night stand material and that you are only interested in a relationship. It will either send him away fast, or he’ll be intrigued.
5. He praises you too much in the beginning.
By the same token, even if you don’t have sex with him right away – but you notice he’s very flowery, complimentary, and over the top in the beginning, that’s still a bad sign. He’s probably only using you for one specific purpose – or maybe just a passing mood when he first meets you. If he doesn’t follow up on that, and if you don’t get his attention in some other way, he might just ghost you out of forgetfulness.
Guys do this a lot, surprisingly. They get all romantic and heroic in the beginning, but then they forget the source of the attraction. And they move on. That’s why it’s safe to assume if you don’t connect with a guy right away, he’s as good as ghosted later on.
6. You’ve never met in person.
It’s actually a pretty grim sign when you’ve never met in person and all the attraction you’ve felt thus far is based on text, imagination, or dare we say even roleplaying. It’s much easier for a guy to ghost on an online friend, than it is for a woman he’s actually met in person and felt some physical connection to.
You might even say that men who dwell on the fantasy of an online relationship are just exploring their own feelings, rather than seriously committing to another person. That’s why you should never be surprised if an online love disappears on you. It’s a plot twist that happens far more often than you might think.
7. You don’t know anyone in their personal life.
Beyond that, even if he knows you in person – but NEVER brings you into his personal life, like meeting his parents, his friends, talking about his job and so on – then he’s already decided you don’t fit into his lifestyle.
8. You haven’t shown that much interest in him.
In conclusion, ghosting is just a fact of life. It doesn’t feel fair when it happens to you. Maybe you even pride yourself on never ghosting someone else – and always giving a reasonable explanation.
But in any event, if you sense that someone is fixing to ghost you based on their cold and distant behavior, just exit the chat right away. There’s no sense to wait until it’s official. Chat with someone who’s happy to know you and talk to you and avoid situations where you know he’s fixing to ghost you. There’s just too fun out there to be stuck in a boring chat!
Related Reading
- 15 Signs a Man is Going to Pull Away or Ghost You in Dating
- What Is He Thinking When He Pulls Away?
- Why He Pulls Away When Things Get Real
- 7 Silent Reasons He’s Pulling Away (And How to Flip It Without Chasing)
When He Pulls Away
If he has been pulling back, there is usually one quiet reason underneath it.
And most women respond in a way that accidentally pushes him further away.
I made a short video that explains why men pull away, and what to say to bring him back.
