Have you ever started dating an amazing guy only to have him suddenly pull away and leave you confused? You’re not alone.
As a dating coach for successful women, I see this painful pattern play out all the time:
You meet a man and feel an instant connection full of potential. He seems totally into you! You start making plans for the future in your head.
But then… he starts acting distant. Texts go unanswered for days. Dates get postponed or cancelled last minute. He seems cold and withdrawn when you do see him.
You start blaming yourself and questioning what went wrong. Meanwhile, he continues drifting further away until he disappears from your life completely. Ugh!
I know how devastating this feels. But it doesn’t have to keep happening to you. The key is recognizing the signs he’s about to pull away EARLY, before it’s too late.
In this article, I’ll walk you through the biggest warning signs so you can detect pull away attempts before they sink the relationship. Then I’ll give you tips to bring him back once more and communicate through the issue.
Keep reading to get inside the mind of men and understand what makes them pull away from budding relationships with smart, successful women like you. With this knowledge, you can avoid hurt and heartache to create the lasting love you deserve!
Sign #1: He Takes Longer to Return Calls and Texts
This might seem obvious, but consistently delayed responses are one of the biggest giveaways. In the early stages, a man should text back promptly and want to keep the communication flow going.
But as his interest starts to wane, you’ll notice progressively slower replies. He stops texting good morning or checking on you during the day. He’ll blame work or other obligations (sometimes legitimately), but the bottom line is you’re not a priority.
Don’t make excuses for him. A man who’s really into you will respond quickly regardless of how busy he is. If his communication seems stalled out, he’s likely about to pull back.
Don’t lose hope! Watch this training video to learn how to re-spark stalled communication with men before they pull away for good.
Sign #2: He Starts Canceling Dates Last Minute
When you start dating a guy, he should be eager to confirm plans with you and keep them set in stone. But when he’s losing interest, canceled dates become more frequent.
Watch how he responds when you try rescheduling. Does he suggest alternative days? Or does he go vague, saying he’s not sure when he’ll be free? Vagueness about making solid plans is a huge red flag.
He might claim his boss is making him work late, but the truth is you’re just not a priority he’s excited about anymore. Don’t let him use work as an excuse more than once!
Sign #3: He Stops Asking Questions and Showing Curiosity
A man who is smitten with you will demonstrate sincere interest and ask thoughtful questions. He’ll want details about your job, passions, family, and friends. Drifting interest manifests as the opposite.
Has he stopped asking how your important work presentation went or if you resolved issues with your roommate? Do your answers feel like they go in one ear and out the other?
These clues indicate he’s checked out of being your engaged listener. When there’s no mutuality in sharing lives, he’s already got one foot out the door.
Learn how to restart mind-blowing conversations and have men hanging on your every word. Don’t miss this game-changing communication training.
Sign #4: He Gets Defensive if You Ask Where Things Are Going
In the initial stages, a man should be open and direct if you ask where he sees things going. But if your gut says he’s pulling back, proceed with caution here.
A man who’s into you wants to provide reassurance that you’re on the same page. If your questions about the status of the relationship make him overly defensive or evasive? Big pull away sign.
He might say he doesn’t want to “rush into labels” early on. But schema aside, he should be able to confidently communicate his enthusiasm and intentions.
Sign #5: He Doesn’t Introduce You to His Friends and Family
Men who see long-term potential will be eager to bring you into their world. That means introducing you to his inner circle and the people who matter most.
So if he stalls on bringing you around friends after several weeks of dating? Red flag. If he says his family is out of town every time you ask about meeting them? Suspicious.
If you feel like he’s hiding you from the important people in his life, it’s often because he sees an expiration date on the relationship. Avoid meeting the people closest to him? It’s a subtle way to keep things casual without the “talk.”
Stop wondering where you stand and get the clarity you need! Check out my Free Masterclass on getting him to commit to exclusivity and lock it down for good!
Sign #6: He Doesn’t Post About You on Social Media
In the beginning, men are often excited to show you off with lovey dovey social media posts and pictures. But when the relationship shifts, his online displays of affection follow suit.
If he was gushing about you online in the early days and now you’ve gone crickets on his page? It might mean he considers you temporary and is withdrawing.
Social media is an extension of someone’s identity. A decrease in public posts symbolizes hesitancy claiming you as his girl. Conversely, if he introduces you on IG stories but stops after a few weeks? Also very telling.
Sign #7: He Doesn’t Make Concrete Plans to See You Again
When a guy is really feeling you, he secures the next date before the current one ends. You’ll leave every encounter with set plans to reunite again soon.
But if he stops trying to nail down specifics for the next date before you part ways? His enthusiasm about seeing you again is probably waning.
He might say “Yeah, I’d love to see you again soon!” But if he doesn’t then name the day and time? It’s just lip service. Don’t settle for maybes or someday promises. Insist on making concrete plans.
Don’t leave it up to chance! Watch this game-changing video to learn how to get him to lock down date plans and stick to them, instead of flaking.
Sign #8: He Doesn’t Compliment You Anymore
Men who are really into you will deliver sincere compliments about how beautiful you look, how clever you are, etc. It’s one way they communicate interest and admiration.
So when he stops complimenting your appearance, personality, talents and more? It’s often because his eyes are wandering elsewhere.
If his praise slowly becomes infrequent or disappears altogether, it’s likely because he doesn’t want you to think he’s still romantically invested when he’s actually checked out.
Sign #9: He Doesn’t Say “I Miss You” Anymore
In the early stages, men will often admit they already miss you before you’ve even left the date! This indirectly communicates you’re always on their mind.
But as interest fades, so do these charming sentiments. If he stops telling you he misses you or can’t stop thinking about you, it’s likely because…well, he doesn’t anymore.
When men pull back, they cut out verbal affirmations that give you relationship security. This gradual absence is meant to hint that the bond is weakening before the full break.
Wondering if the love dried up or if he’s just going through a phase? Watch this revealing video on whether it’s truly over or if there’s still hope.
Sign #10: He Doesn’t Initiate Contact First Anymore
Consistent, enthusiastic initiation is a key sign of interest from men in the early stages. But as he withdraws, you’ll find yourself putting in more effort just to keep communication flowing.
At first, he messaged you throughout the day. Now your texts sit unanswered for hours unless you reach out first. He used to plan creative date ideas but now the burden falls on you.
When you’re always the one moving things forward, it signals he’s lost the spark that made him eager to pursue you. Don’t gloss over this gradual imbalance.
Turn the tables and have him chasing you again! Check out my Free Masterclass on texting techniques that spark his desire.
Sign #11: He Doesn’t Touch You Affectionately Anymore
Men who are invested show clear physical interest: hand-holding, strokes of your hair, his arm around your shoulders, playful tickles. It’s comforting body language reflecting his attraction.
But when he used to find excuses to touch you and now he keeps physical space between you? That’s subtle body language indicating disinterest.
Light, affectionate contact gives way to hands in his pockets and inches between you on the couch. He’s likely creating distance energetically/emotionally as well.
Sign #12: He Cuts Dates Short or Shows Up Late
The time a man willingly devotes to you is a precious commodity—especially in the getting-to-know-you phase. When he stops prioritizing that time, it’s a definitive pull away sign.
Maybe he starts showing up 15 minutes late without explanation. Or he abruptly ends dinner after 45 minutes because he “has an early meeting.”
Whatever the excuse, the message is clear: You don’t warrant his time anymore. Don’t justify or minimize disrespect of your time. That’s valuable, so his actions should reflect that.
Set the tone that you’re a woman who demands respect. Watch my boundary-enforcing training video to learn how to nip time-wasting behavior in the bud fast.
Sign #13: He Doesn’t Put Much Effort into Dates
Ah, the classic “Netflix and chill” low-effort date. While cozy nights in are nice sometimes, they shouldn’t be the only type of date he plans.
When a man is super into you, he’ll suggest fun, creative dates that are thoughtful and romantic. He’ll put in effort to impress you and make you feel special.
So if he stops planning proper dates and vaguely suggests “hanging out” instead? That’s a sign you’re being low priority to him. Don’t let lazy date suggestions slide. Demand better treatment.
If you’re sick of lukewarm date plans, join my complimentary Date Ideas Masterclass. Sign up now to get invaluable tips to inspire incredible dates that deepen intimacy fast.
Sign #14: He’s Distracted and Avoids Eye Contact
Remember the strong eye contact and undivided attention he gave you when you first started dating? Holding onto that memory will make it obvious when his energy shifts.
You’ll notice his eyes wandering around the room instead of listening attentively. He breaks eye contact frequently. He seems spaced out or distracted when speaking to you.
These nonverbals reflect his lack of presence and disinterest. Don’t confront him directly yet, but quietly observe. If it becomes a pattern, it’s time for a talk.
Sign #15: He Doesn’t Include You in Future Plans
A man who sees you in his future will talk about dreams and make joint plans. The absence of this optimism is very telling.
Has he stopped mentioning wanting to visit wineries or adventure spots together someday? Does he dodge the subject when you bring up future plans?
This shift signifies he no longer sees you in long-term dreams. He’s pulling back because he doesn’t feel like this is going anywhere deeper. Big ouch.
Discover techniques to inspire hope about the future and get back on the same page. My Sealing the Deal Masterclass walks you through crafting a shared vision of love.
Okay, so you’ve noticed one or more of these pull away signs creeping up in your relationship. Now what?
First, don’t panic. There are techniques to pull him back in and rekindle what you had. The key is addressing issues early before he withdraws completely.
Here are 3 tips to bring him back once you’ve noticed pull away signs:
- Open the conversation calmly and caringly. Say something like “I’ve noticed you seem distant lately. It would mean a lot if we could talk openly about what’s going on.” Listen to understand his perspective. See if you can resolve it together.
- If problems persist, establish stronger boundaries going forward. Be clear about your needs and relationship deal breakers. Enforcing these keeps him on track moving forward.
- Focus energy on self-care and assessing if this relationship is truly right for you. Work on confidence and avoidance of past mistakes. If he doesn’t come back around, know it’s his loss.
I know it’s not easy, but try to remain optimistic. Use this as a chance to build communication skills and self-awareness. If it doesn’t work out, trust you will find the right man who cherishes you fully, without needing to be pulled back in.
To equip yourself to handle pull away situations with grace and class, watch my Free Masterclass on reversing rejection.
In this exclusive training, I’ll teach you how to stabilize your relationship and bring out the best in your man before pull away attempts happen in the first place.
Here’s what we’ll cover together:
- How to create emotional intimacy that makes him want to commit his heart fully to you
- Fun and flirty texts to show interest while avoiding neediness or desperation
- Gentle conversation starters to get him to open up so you know where he’s at
- How to inspire hope about the future so he sees you in it
- Self-care essentials to stay confident if he needs time or space
The secrets I teach have already helped hundreds of women keep great men all-in and prevent painful pull away situations. Invest in yourself by signing up for the webinar now!
You have so much love potential and value to offer. Know that regardless of his actions, you are whole and complete on your own. But if this man is truly special, he deserves the chance to live up to your standards.
With the right tools, you can either get this relationship back on track, or lovingly let it go knowing you did all you could. The rest is up to him. You’ve got this!
Here’s to bringing out the best in your man!