When a guy likes you, he goes full speed ahead. He might text you multiple times a day or look for excuses to call you. And that’s a great feeling when it happens.
Guess what? You start to feel good. You start to get comfortable with him. You assume just saying whatever comes to mind is going to make him happy and keep him interacting with you.
But then that’s when suddenly things go wrong. He stops texting or he slows down in his replies. Maybe the energy or the “tone” of his messages changes for no apparent reason.
Why does this happen? It’s not as random as you think. And it’s not even one of those “guys are just weird” moments. Believe it or not, most text conversations that fizzle out do so because some big mistakes were made.
It’s not just men that say can make a mistake in texting. Saying the wrong thing could be why your guy is acting strangely in his text replies. Let’s consider some of the most common texting mistakes that almost always turn a guy off.
Waves, pokes, or pings that communicate nothing.
Example:
“Hey you.”
“Hi there.”
“So what’s up?”
If you’re just writing to say HI or any variation of the “What’s up?” or “Hey, stranger!” then it might be better to just nix that text and instead write a better one. Just think of these salutations as a “Facebook poke.” Kind of pointless, right? If you can’t think of anything to say, there’s no good reason to write each other. Texting lives or dies by how interesting your chats can be.
Lazy messages that are usually short and get him to do all the talking.
Example:
“Why don’t you write me anymore?”
“Where did you go?”
“Are you still there??”
These kinds of messages are not only lazy but sometimes manipulative – in the sense that you’re telling him, “You talk so that I don’t have to say anything.” It may or may not work. But one thing it will definitely not do is show this guy that you’re great at conversation. Eventually, he will realize he is mostly talking to himself.
Boring or “I’m bored” texts.
Example:
“I’m bored. Talk to me.”
“Hey. Nothing going on. You?”
“Anything new with you?”
While it might seem honest to say you’re bored (and hopefully he can entertain you), what he usually reads is – “I’m kind of boring.” It’s not a good idea to associate yourself with feelings of boredom, restlessness, or nothing conversation. It reinforces feelings he might have that you don’t have much in common (er besides sex). That’s the opposite direction you want to go with him.
Angry, complaining, or extremely negative texts.
Example:
“Why are you always like that? You insulted me and then you get pissed off?”
“I hate my job and life. I hate everything lol”
“I guess it doesn’t matter. Life is pointless if you think about it. So it’s best not to dwell on it.”
All these are bad examples of keeping a conversation fun. Forget positive – these conversations are not even fun! Why would he want to chat with you about dark or demotivational things? If it’s just a booty call, then he doesn’t even need the formality of a bad conversation. Just sexting is enough in that case. No need for the dozen messages about life sucking!
Remember, even outside of dating, negativity causes stress, it exacerbates depression, and it just hurts you the most. You can’t be happy 100 percent of the time. But the more you try to focus on positive experiences in life, the happier you will be – and the more people will notice that about you.
Giant story texts.
Example:
“And then I said to him and then he said and then this thing happened and then (1000 texts later) … so thoughts?”
The point is, it’s best not to send a guy GIANT story texts. If you have an interesting story then either tell it to him on the phone or meet in person for a great chat. Or if you must, an email message. But why try to cram a giant story into small text characters?
It makes you appear a little too over eager. And frankly, it will get on his nerves to try and read long texts. There’s usually no need to tell a giant story via text in the first place. It defeats the purpose of moving the relationship offline and into more promising territory.
Sexy texts or selfies – the WRONG guy!
Example:
“Am I hot or what?”
“So horny!”
“Living life!!!”
Don’t get me wrong…it’s fine to send a guy cool (or hot) pictures and it’s even suggested, when the time is right. But you can’t rush into it. You especially can’t rush into it, thinking that sending him hot photos will give you a million hit points into his heart or something. Photos are a nice reward, but if that’s all you send him, you’re just setting yourself up for a friends with benefits relationship. Or even worse, he might think you’re robot!
Generally speaking, text conversations feel “too long” whenever someone keeps trying to get the last word in. So try to avoid over explaining things, or just trying to get the last word in, to “show him” that you saw his message. It’s just better to sometimes leave conversations hanging than it is to risk saying too much and coming across as too forward.
Now that you know the “triggers”, so to speak, that quickly lose the attention of guys, you can avoid texting those things and get back the advantage. However, winning over a guy with texting isn’t all about avoiding the wrong things to say and then winning him over with an interesting conversation.
It’s important to remember that texting is not exactly the same thing as in-person conversation. You can improvise a lot more when you’re together on a date or even talking on the phone. When you’re chatting via text message, it’s been to keep your texts focused and even a little brief. You want him to miss you. You want him to look forward to the next text chat. We’ll discuss more about keeping his interest via text in another article, coming soon.
Text him this to trigger his desire to chase you…
Did you know that you can trigger a man’s hormones through your text messages?
It’s true. How you communicate with a man can actually release different hormones in his body.
One of the most important ones is testosterone because that’s what makes him CHASE you, pursue you, and invest in you so that he gets “hooked” and desires something more with you.
Want to trigger this in your man?
Talk soon,
Matthew Coast
P.S. You can actually trigger a “cocktail of emotions” inside a man that make him feel like he can’t get you out of his mind and even feel addicted to you, if you text him a certain way.
Interesting
Cccyaa!
Useful article. These points work for male to female conversations, too. Some guys do exactly what this article says not to do. Thanks for the information, Matthew!