One of the best lessons you will ever learn for texting a guy is this: your goal is to graduate from texting into a real relationship! That’s right, one that involves phone calls, in-person dates, and someday, when the time is right, in-person sex and commitment! Or, if you’re in a long-distance relationship, maybe the next step is webcam chat. Or even that kinky interactive virtual sex that I hear so much about – you know, as seen in Demolition Man and what not.
Point is, no one is actually satisfied with texting as a permanent thing. No wonder text conversations stall after a while…you can’t really fall in love with a computer, with apologies to Joaquin Phoenix and Her. Text conversation is exciting, but only when it’s progressive and it’s feeding the attraction you both feel. You lose that, the conversation gets boring, awkward, and strained.
Let’s break it down then to the six most important secrets that work when texting a guy you like. You might be surprised to read some of these at first. But the more you think about it, these secrets make perfect sense because dating patterns do follow a logical formula – whether in person or via messaging.
1. Remember… he wants to be part of your amazing life.
Try to think bigger than just “You complete me.” The best marriages are the joining together of two fantastic people who love their lives and who live life to its fullest. Keep this in mind and remember, he is partly falling in love with you because of your lifestyle, and the things you do. What do you is not independent of your personality. It’s all related. He wants to fall in love with the entirety of you. So live with a purpose and he will sense that.
Remind him of your exciting life – like the cool things you get to do – even when texting him.
2. Project your energy.
Speaking of which, devote some time to projecting the right energy. Not just with him, but with everyone you meet. Do you try to stay positive whenever possible? Do you take time to laugh and do the things you love – the wonderful experiences that make life worthwhile?
Do you talk about these finer things in life when you text him back?
He will be able to sense your energy – for better or worse. If you carry negative attitudes or are bringing too much baggage from old relationships, then he can sense that. But if you are a naturally fun and vivacious person, he will sense it right away. Your positive energy will attract him.
3. Make him laugh.
Don’t worry about getting too deep too soon. Either a guy will lead with a “serious” conversation, or you can start slow – like sharing a happy memory, when the time is right. But before you go down that road, take the time to laugh, smile, and actually enjoy each other’s company. He must associate you with laughter, happiness, and joyful qualities if he’s serious about you.
Just a little secret – the friends with benefits he always loses interest in? Those are women he knows he’s just not compatible with. They don’t make him laugh, they don’t challenge his mind in fun ways. It’s all based on sex, because there is no real compatibility there. What you should be focusing on is matching his personality – finding the joy in each other’s lives.
It’s easy to make a guy laugh via text. Be sarcastic in a playful way, vent about something funny happening at work, or when out of ideas, just share something funny you read or saw online. He will start to look forward to a laugh with you every day.
4. Reward him for being flirty.
It is a good idea not to be overly flirty, and risk pushing him before he’s ready. Usually, guys do take the lead when it comes to flirting or saying something romantic or naughty. That’s what you’re waiting for – for him to make the first step. Then you follow his lead. NOT by escalating and saying something twice as shocking. No, you just kind of flirt back with him. You engage with the idea he proposed via text. You follow his lead. Then he gets comfortable flirting with you. Then the sexual tension grows naturally.
5. Make him feel like he’s being interviewed for a cool new magazine.
While it’s smart to focus on things you have in common, never underestimate how thrilled a man is to talk about himself. His memories, his philosophy, his favorite things. Too often, a woman will become complacent in dating and let the man interview her. But what about returning the favor and making him feel good about himself?
If it helps, pretend you’re a journalist interviewing him for a magazine like Rolling Stone or Entertainment Weekly. Make him feel excited about his life and what he wants to say. Encourage his honesty and get him to send you huge texts – until he realizes, maybe he should just call you and explain things.
6. Keep things short – make him anticipate the next conversation.
Finally, remember the golden rule of texting. The best texts make him want more. They leave him in anticipation of what you will talk about next. He looks forward to it.
The longer you keep writing him in great detail, trying to “be there for him” all the time, or trying to think of something else to say (constantly), then the less exciting texting becomes.
It’s better you cut it short, rather than try to work too hard keeping things going. You’re not Jimmy Fallon and you don’t have to create a virtual talk show of comedy via text. A little goes a long way!
As we’ve discussed, if you want to turn this texting fun into a serious relationship you have to be strategic and goal-oriented. No, that doesn’t mean you have to take the lead in asking him out or being shameless. You can accomplish the same thing by being subtle but interested and then letting him lead.
Not only do men want to feel in control, but also, when they do take the lead in the relationship, they remind themselves that this is what they want. Not what you want – what he wants! You have successfully activated his best masculine qualities. Now he’s chasing you and things are exactly as they should be.
Text him this to trigger his desire to chase you…
Did you know that you can trigger a man’s hormones through your text messages?
It’s true. How you communicate with a man can actually release different hormones in his body.
One of the most important ones is testosterone because that’s what makes him CHASE you, pursue you, and invest in you so that he gets “hooked” and desires something more with you.
Want to trigger this in your man?
P.S. You can actually trigger a “cocktail of emotions” inside a man that makes him feel like he can’t get you out of his mind and even feel addicted to you, if you text him a certain way.