You not only hear the argument “Women should never chase men!” but you probably also FEEL the same thing. Chasing a man might feel strange to you, or even embarrassing. Let’s face it, if he rejects you, it’s really going to sting.
And yes, while it’s true the social climate is changing and women are being more outgoing nowadays, it’s important to understand the difference between chasing a man, and simply being more outgoing and friendly.
It’s actually a great idea to be outgoing and friendly. But that’s not the same thing as chasing a man, which is so aggressive, it makes a lot of men uncomfortable.
There’s also another level under “chasing a guy” that we need to talk about – trying too hard to make a man chase you.
They’re not quite the same thing, because there is some subtlety involved in trying to get a man to chase you. But the point is, if you are “trying too hard” then you’re just making things harder on yourself. In this discussion, we’re going to review six reasons why you should stop trying so hard to get what you want, and instead, fall back and redirect your energy to something more practical.
1. The harder you try, the more desperate you seem.
Obviously, the first red flag is the most important. There is a good reason people say, “don’t chase him…it makes you look desperate.” It’s an old cliche, but one that’s still honest. When you try so hard to chase someone else who’s not sure if he wants you, it makes it look like you’re desperate.
What does that mean? Not just desperate for HIM. Desperate for sex. Desperate for love. Desperate for a relationship – any relationship, even if it’s a bad one.
These are not attractive qualities. You should always maintain high standards in your relationship. This is not only attractive to your man, it’s also going to protect you from some very bad relationships that only end up hurting you.
2. If you try too hard, he will always blame you for forcing him into a relationship he wasn’t ready for.
This might seem like a small thing, but it’s actually alarming how often unbalanced dynamics can throw off the relationship. If you are the aggressor in the relationship, then to him, it’s always going to feel like you wanted him. You knew how he was. You fell in love first. He wasn’t quite ready for commitment, but you talked him into it. You, therefore, need to please him.
Does that sound like an exhausting relationship to you? It doesn’t seem balanced. In fact, it gives him too much power. If you don’t give him the opportunity to realize he loves you, (and that makes him want to chase you) how will he ever appreciate your fine qualities?
3. If he’s not trying to chase you – something IS wrong!
Remember – men are not required nor are they programmed to chase women involuntarily! That means if he is not chasing you, there’s probably a good reason.
Don’t you want to know why?
Yes, it’s possible that he’s shy or has limited dating experience. On the other hand, here are some common reasons why a man might flirt, but not want to chase you seriously.
A. He’s married or has a girlfriend – whoops!
B. His only interest in you is sexual and he doesn’t want to lead you on. Which is kind of nice of him to do.
C. His financial and or personal life is in shambles at the moment. Might want to let him fix some of these issues first.
D. He’s not attracted to you. That’s not going to change, unfortunately.
E. He hasn’t decided if he even wants a commitment yet. He doesn’t know what he wants – that puts you in a bad position.
4. You are trying too hard to impress him and not being your true self.
The deeper issue here is that you’re trying to impress him and putting all your efforts to win him over…and yet this is not your true self. Years from now, regardless of whether you win him or lose him, you’re going to realize that you put so much effort in trying to achieve a goal, you never stopped to wonder if it was really worth it.
Your true self would not chase a man who has only limited interest in you. You’re projecting other issues, dreams, and wants on a relationship that just might be doomed. Your judgment is clouded right now because you want to WIN. That’s human nature, sure. But that can be a painful realization later on.
5. It decreases your value in his eyes and also lowers your self-esteem.
Sadly, wanting him so bad – at the expense of your own pride – is only going to make him wonder “what’s wrong with you?” Why is she trying to convince me that we’re good together, rather than let me figure that out?
Aggressively putting yourself out there, while commendable in terms of courage, actually decreases social value in his eyes. If something is rare, or hard to earn, the value increases. If something is free or really cheap, it’s not romantic, not sexy, not anything special.
6. It’s actually way more important to focus on improving yourself – not stealing his attention.
In the end, chasing him takes the attention off of you. He becomes the “prized possession”, and not you. That’s not going to paint you in an attractive light.
It’s actually better to focus on self-improvement, that is, making yourself look and behave in a more attractive manner. That not only GRABS his attention without trying, but it also makes you feel more appreciated.
The natural law of attraction says: if you stop chasing something (because you don’t really need it) you absorb that value. You go up in social value. People sense your confidence and begin to pay closer attention to your life, your appearance, and your words. They realize there’s something special about you. Something unique. And that’s when the guy says, “Hey, I’m interested in her. I want to get her attention.”
And that makes you both happier.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
