Some stereotypes are unfortunately true. Take for instance the one about the good girl who always wears her heart on her sleeves and gets dumped by men.
She hooks up with these guys that have no serious intentions. Some of them seem nice but just wind up using her for sex. Others are abusive towards her and make her life miserable. Some guys try their best to make a relationship work but they just can’t – and so they get bored of her. They wait a few months and then politely, safely, compassionately, break up with her.
She gets, understandably, frustrated as time goes on. Because she wants to find someone to love, but no one else seems interested in that. She starts to blame all men, assuming they all just want sex. They change as soon as they hop into bed and get what they want. They lose interest…meanwhile she grows older and becomes depressed because she can’t seem to find a good man.
It’s a stereotype…and yet we’ve all known someone like this, haven’t we?
Maybe you’ve even fallen into the trap before. You fall for this guy, maybe even fall in love with him, and then, just as you start to get comfortable in a relationship he shocks you with a “We need to talk” moment.
Why does this happen? Is it true, that all guys just want sex? Or all guys just want women who disdain them? Maybe you’re instinctively attracted to the “wrong type of guy”. Maybe it’s time to start dating a boring family-seeking man and forget about attraction.
No, all of that is nonsense!
The real issue is that when this happens, it’s a failure to communicate – a misunderstanding of what we want, as men and women. We are looking for the same things but we have two opposite perspectives. That’s why communication suffers and we end up hurting each other.
That’s why I want to discuss four different reasons that successful, attractive men dump women. And believe it or not, it’s not really about sex. As you read these items one by one, stop to consider whether you or a friend of yours that can relate to this might be making the same mistakes.
1. Mismatching Lifestyles
He’s happy with you…when you’re alone together. But the relationship feels strained when it comes to merging two opposite lifestyles. He may not want to show you to his friends or family, either because he’s self-conscious about how things will look to other people, or because he wants to keep the relationship secret. He can’t seem to accept the reality of the relationship, happening in the real world, with day to day interaction.
2. A Lack of Trust
Sadly, this is a recurring problem among many couples I’ve talked to over the years. It oftentimes happens when someone is drinking and blurts out something inappropriate, or so harsh that it’s impossible to take back. Sometimes partners hurl verbal abuse at each other and say terrible things. They want to chalk it up to drunk talk or angry venting…but if it’s how a person really feels (and alcohol does lower inhibition) it can violate destroy a loving, trusting relationship from the inside out.
3. “Too Good”
The idea of a woman being “too good” or too much of a good girl is usually not what it appears to be. Guys are NOT bored by a woman who is heroic, passionate and “good” – you know, not at all Godzilla or Thanos-like. Rather, they are bored at one of two things:
- She is not fulfilling him sexually
- She is not passionate about life
- She is not ambitious or motivated to be more
This is the “bad girl” that most men are attracted to. Not someone dangerous or mentally ill, no. Rather, someone that doesn’t challenge him, inspire him, turn him on, and push his buttons. Remember it’s all about emotional connection – that’s not just love and sweetness but also thrills, curiosity, and mystery. Love and romance are not all about sweetness. It’s also about the seduction, the chase, so to speak.
4. He Doesn’t See Forever in Your Future
Finally, let’s talk about love. Men are idealistic and they do think of love “forever”. It’s just that a man’s idea of forever involves an equal partnership, being on a “team” that works towards the same goals. This requires similarity in lifestyles but also having the ability to compromise. Men interested in marriage also admire positive qualities in women like high confidence, fierce independence, and success – because you know what you want out of life and go get it. This is the kind of “teammate” that a man wants. If he feel like he’s doing everything and you’re doing nothing, there’s a good chance he’ll lose interest. He doesn’t feel like this is a well balanced “team”, where you both make sacrifices, and you both fight for each other, always supporting each other to the very end.
Simply put, men admire women who love them enough to be loyal. So when you decide to love a man, show him that this is a relationship you take just as seriously as he does. It’s not about spoiling you with attention or worshiping the ground you walk on. It’s about two intelligent and mature people coming together and sharing their world…forever and ever!
As we can see, there is always a reason for why guys do the bad things we perceive. To believe that all men are shallow is counterproductive to solving the problem. Even believing that some men are just evil or heartless is a false sense of emotion. Yes, we all make mistakes. Some of us can be cruel at times. But we have to grow out of that perpetual state of victimhood. Successful women must take control of their lives and find the relationship they want – not continue to harp on the men who have ruined their lives. Be empowered. Create love on your own terms and let nothing stop you from getting what you want out of life.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
Matthew, i have been seeing this guy as friends for about 3 months, i didnt want a lable of relationship, just friends…the chemistry was automatic and amazing, the emotional connection was like wildfire…. his one rule is that it has to be private (tell nonone) ! I thought i was doing the right thing by not flaunting it. But apparently I was not guarded enough…taking phone calls, letting his name slip in convo (people told me you could see the way my face lights up when he is around or messages me)…well others talked about us. And I pulled away because I feel like I betrayed his trust. I felt like I couldnt protect his privacy because he got hurt.
My question is…how do i fix it? How do you become so guarded that no one knows any aspects of your life?
I may not be able to keep him no matter how perfect he was for me….but how to i learn to not make these same mistakes again and follow his one rule of no one should know about us.
Part of me feels like I am dying because he was the one who made me feel like a kid, fun. No arguments, it was epic and going well till he found out others know about us. Not to mention we were seen out in public, his car at my house… his response is just we need to move on. Any advice would be gratefully appreciated.
I did everything I could to my man but finally he left me I need one
Let noone know bout it,nah relationships like that i dont need.my relationship r sympathetic ones…i feel sorry n i end up being with them…dont want to break their heart.Enough not any more i stopped.